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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27588490">Forget me not (because I will)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bluestpaw/pseuds/Bluestpaw'>Bluestpaw</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Hurt/Comfort [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Miraculous Ladybug</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bittersweet Ending, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Good Parents Sabine Cheng &amp; Tom Dupain, Hurt Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, I should probably add, Identity Reveal, Lila Rossi Lies, Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug Is So Done, Minor, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Protective Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir, Supportive Tikki (Miraculous Ladybug), TV Special: Miraculous World: New York, There really is a lot of Angst, all of Paris - Freeform, and a somewhat, and even that's not the focus, and gabriel, as in, because I haven't watched it yet, but not the focus, except for Lila, minor Lila Rossi redemption, no salt here, pre, supportive friends, to everyone</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 23:08:51</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>42,081</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27588490</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bluestpaw/pseuds/Bluestpaw</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Beep.</p><p>Ladybug froze.</p><p>“M-M-Marinette?”</p><p>.-.-.-.-.</p><p>The moment her transformation faded and Alya's camera was still pointed at her, Marinette knew, life would never be the same again.</p><p>She was right. Oh so terribly right. And she was wrong. Oh so terribly wrong.</p><p>.-.-.-.-.</p><p>Being a guardian is hard. Forgetting to be one is even harder.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir &amp; Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Alya Césaire &amp; Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug &amp; Kagami Tsurugi, Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug &amp; Tikki</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Hurt/Comfort [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1956280</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>113</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>374</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>And then, a feeling of whispering dread set in.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <em>"I'm sorry. But I'm sure, I didn't mean to hurt you."</em>
</p><p>oOoOo<br/>.</p><p>
  <strong>Forget me not (because I will)</strong>
</p><p>.<br/>oOo</p><p> </p><p>Akuma battles were loud. Deafening, one could say. There were demands and threats thrown across the battlefield, there were the screams of innocent filling the air. There were Chat's and her very own shouted warnings.</p><p>There was never silence.</p><p>The more jarring it was when all of that sound just-</p><p> </p><p>stopped.</p><p> </p><p>It was the first thought crossing Ladybug’s mind as she got flung through the air. The sounds of the ongoing battle were familiar, comforting almost, and when it was suddenly all substituted by nothing but the howling wind…</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>(...and the shouting inside her own head and the panicked scream from Chat and the warnings and the laughter and the booming voice, but she couldn’t hear it, <b>she couldn’t really hear it!)</b></em>
</p><p> </p><p>...Ladybug found herself frightened.</p><p>In fact, she was absolutely terrified.</p><p>And then she slammed into the concrete and suddenly, there was only white noise.</p><p>A haughty fog was clinging to every corner of the city of light, dampening the faraway shouting and disorientating her. She could feel the air get knocked from her lungs and for a short second she thought she could hear a ringing in her ears, before even that was gone.</p><p>And all that was left was white noise.</p><p>Ladybug knew she was panting, taking in shallow breaths that felt as suffocating as the fog, but she couldn’t hear it. Every single bone in her body groaned from pain and she was unable to move, paralyzed by the impact.</p><p>She was about to transform. Her suit was slowly failing her.</p><p>She was about to transform back. She had to <em><b>run</b></em>.</p><p>But she couldn't get up. The air was still knocked from her lungs and her hands gave away from underneath her whenever she struggled to at least sit and the tiredness of the last few days threatened to take her over and the fog's clamminess weighted her down like a thick blanket.</p><p>She felt like she wasn’t part of her own body anymore. She felt as if there was Body-Ladybug and Ghost-Ladybug was floating on top, unable to move, unable to feel, unable to hear because she was <em><b>nothing</b></em>.</p><p>It was scary. Horrendously scary.</p><p>Her entire being screamed for her to rest as the white noise slowly faded, leaving nothing but dampened silence</p><p> </p><p><em>(and the dampened sound of a battle fought without her, but she couldn’t hear it, <b>she couldn’t hear it!</b></em> <b>).</b></p><p> </p><p>And then Ladybug noticed the heavy steps of the Akuma growing closer – the booming shaking the very earth to its core and sending shivers across her body. She felt herself float in in a strange in-between of battle sounds and the silence of a pained body and-</p><p>It was almost peaceful.</p><p>The air was filled with anticipation and for a second, all the heroine did was stare at the looming shadow from behind the wall of fog, ever so slowly growing closer.</p><p>The world seemed to stand still.</p><p>And into that silence, that undisturbed peacefulness, there came a single, shattering sound.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p><em>Beep</em>.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>High-pitched and familiar and enough to shake Ladybug to her very core. Her eyes widened and her mouth fell open in a silent plea for help, her body having caught up to the sound faster than her thoughts had.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I have to get up.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Another beep broke through the silence. Ladybug struggled to sit upright, her head lolling around in a sickly way.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> <b>I need to hide.</b> </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Another beep. Her arms collapsed beneath her and once more, Ladybug slammed into the concrete, the pain driving tears into her eyes.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> <b>No one can see me!</b> </em>
</p><p> </p><p>The beeping became a constant now. A few loose stones started jumping at the sound of the giant Akuma, it’s shadow was a stark contrast to the thick fog surrounding her.</p><p>It loomed over Ladybug like a castle made from bones.</p><p>A shiver ran down her spine and she managed to push herself up on her arms, starring at the titan in something akin to awe, casting her motionless.</p><p>Her thoughts were screaming.</p><p>She had to move. <em>Now!</em> But her muscles still groaned whenever she moved and, even now, she barely managed to stand, instead heavily leaning on her left leg and waiting in horror for her transformation to fade away. There was fog everywhere. No one could see her. This was alright, she simply had to move a bit, make it seem like she was a civilian, lost on the street, not finding home due to the fog. This was al-</p><p> </p><p>   "...unbe...a..le, right?...sorry can't see anything….fog...Yes, I think…to battle."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>No.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>   "...anything for the Ladyblog!"</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>No!</b>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>   "I'm pretty sure I can hear the footsteps of the Akuma now...From what I have heard, it's supposed to be huge and – Ladybug?!"</p><p>Panic coursed through Ladybug's blood. She struggled to stand upright, ignoring the pain as her eyes widened and she stared at her best friend in horror.</p><p>   "Alya…"<em>Beep, beep, beep. </em>"Alya, are you livestreaming?!" <em>Be</em><em>ep, beep, beep.</em> "Guys, Ladybug just…" <strong><em>Beep, beep beep</em>.</strong></p><p>The steps got louder. The Akuma grew closer. Ladybug stumbled forward, holding her hands out in front, a mockery of the grace she was so well-known for.</p><p>“<em>Alya, turn off the live stream!”</em> “What? W-Why?” “<em>Turn off the live-stream!!!</em>”</p><p>Another step forward. They were steadier now and she had almost reached Alya, ready to rip the phone from her hands, to stop it herself, if only Alya knew it’d be ok and-</p><p> </p><p><em>Beep</em>.</p><p> </p><p>Ladybug froze.</p><p> </p><p>   “M-M-Marinette?”</p><p> </p><p>And with that, her entire world shattered.</p><hr/><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Welcome to the end - and, before you leave, some information you might find interesting:</p><p>First of, this was supposed to be a onshot, equaling roughly 10k. However, it's 26k already and still not finished, meaning this is the first scene of a 22 scene long oneshot - and each chapter will only be one scene. They might be longer, they might be shorter, maybe there will be double updates if I feel like one scene is too short to be waited on for two weeks, but the point is - the each chapter's length will vary greatly. </p><p>Now that that is out of the way: This oneshot was meant to be an excercise in writng atmosphere, therefore I'd greatly appreciate it if you guys could give me some feedback on especially that specific part of my writing - though any kind of feedback is greatly appreciated!</p><p>Anyhow. That's it from me - I hope you enjoyed the first chapter, please leave a comment and read you next time!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Breaking news! Breaking news, everybody! Ladybug’s identity has just been revealed, live, on stream! She’s a teenage girl with black hair and [...]”</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>oOoOo</p><p>Forget me not (because I will)</p><p>oOoOo</p><hr/><p>School the next day was different. A tense atmosphere engulfed the building as journalists crowded on the front steps, trying to be the first to get a snapshot of Ladybug, unveiled<sup>TM </sup>. Whispers filled the halls as people stared at every girl with black hair and rumors were spread faster than the news of her identity.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>I once helped her with physics!”</em></p><p> </p><p>“<em>I know her from the art club!”</em></p><p> </p><p>“<em>I used to sit next to her in fifth grade!”</em></p><p> </p><p>Marinette would have know all that, had she attended.</p><p>People swarmed her home room and classmates, questioning them to try and get a better picture of what she was like – the first videos were online already, but Tikki didn’t allow her to watch them.</p><p>“It’s bad for you, Marinette. You need to focus on your own mental health right now – and those videos won’t help you!”she had said and for once, Marinette had listened to her Kwami. She refused to respond to any texts or calls and her trap door had only been opened once today – this morning, when she had asked her mother to stay at home.</p><p>Marinette buried her head in her arms, trying to shut out the noise coming from beneath – the many people that had invaded her parent’s shop once the news broke. Alya's blog was fairly popular and the moment that clip had made its way onto the Internet, it had made its way onto national TV. By now it had been replayed countless of times, had been analyzed to the very last frame by so called “experts”. The way she spoke ("The way she talks to the "Ladyblogger" is rather familiar… Perhaps they know each other in real life?") to the way she dressed ("Those clothes are definitely handmade - but maybe not by her, the craftsmanship is too good.") to the way she acted ("She seems to be in great distress. I assume that Akuma was particularly hard to defeat.)</p><p>At least Mayor Bourgeois had had the integrity to not reveal her true identity to any of the pesky reporters.</p><p>It didn’t matter anyway. The clothes she wore had been hand sown and she was known for them at her school. A best kept secret was told no one and her school most certainly wasn't “no one”.</p><p>She had failed. One month into her guardianship and already had she failed Master Fu. She had been the reason he had been revealed to Hawkmoth, she had been the reason why he had needed to give up his own guardianship in the first place and now she had failed once more.</p><p>She didn't deserve this. She didn’t deserve any of this.</p><p>Marinette buried her head deeper in her arms and quietly sobbed, ignoring Tikki’s worried glances directed at the trapdoor above her.</p><p>This was a disaster. A great, terrible disaster. And the only one responsible for it had been herself.</p><p>Marinette could hear Lieutenant Raincomprix's booming voice, telling people to back off. She could hear her mother's voice, even louder than Monsieur Raincomprix's, telling them to buy something or leave.</p><p>A fake grin made its way onto Marinette’s features.</p><p>At least the bakery wouldn’t suffer from the reveal.</p><p>. O .</p><p> </p><p>It was late morning when someone hesitantly knocked on her trapdoor. And it was Tikki who alerted Marinette to the incoming intruder.</p><p>"Honey? Can-Can we talk?", her mother’s voice tentatively called up to her – and Marinette wound herself deeper into her blankets and sobbed. She hadn't slept a wink last night and when her mother had taken one look at the dark circles under her eyes and her ugly red cheeks this morning there were no questions asked before she was allowed to stay home.</p><p>"If you don't feel better by tomorrow, we should consider making a doctor's appointment!", Sabine had said and Marinette had been torn between snorting and sobbing because she wouldn't feel any better tomorrow but there wasn't anything a doctor could do unless they could erase memories.</p><p>Ha, maybe she should ask Hawkmoth for help! An Akuma in exchange for her Miraculous – that way she could at least salvage her private life!</p><p>“Marinette, can I come in? Please?”, her mother asked again and Marinette shook her head. She knew her mother couldn't see the gesture, but Marinette felt herself unable to talk. Fear clogged her throat, fear that if she were to open up the dam would break and she’d be easy prey – and no one could afford an akumatized Ladybug right now.</p><p>They never could but-but especially not now. God, what would Chat Noir be thinking?!</p><p>“I’m worried, Marinette. Worried for you. Just-If there's anything Tom or I can do to help you, let me know? We can close up the bakery for today a-and tomorrow too, if you want us to!”</p><p>A beat of silence followed. Undoubtedly, her mother was hoping for an answer.</p><p>Marinette slipped deeper into her cushions.</p><p>“We’re here for you, Marinette. But-But if you need more time, that’s fine too! Just-talk to us? Eventually?”</p><p>Marinette bit her lip and let out yet another sob, as Tikki watched her with increasing worry. So far, they had gotten lucky and not Akuma had sought her out yet – but that could change anytime.</p><p>Marinette’s phone dinged with another message received. Her shaking started picking up again. She knew Tikki wanted her to talk to her parents – hell, she wanted to talk to her parents herself! But she couldn’t. She wasn’t ready yet.When her mother spoke up again, Marinette could hear the disappointment in her voice and it sent a whole new wave of guilt through her.</p><p>“Just-Just know that your father and I – we are very proud of you, Marinette. You can’t even imagine how much.”</p><p> </p><p>. O .</p><p> </p><p>It was late afternoon when Tikki broke the silence of Marinette’s room.</p><p>“Marinette, you-you need to get up.”</p><p>Her charge hadn’t moved in hours and Tikki was getting worried. They needed to be able to move quickly – if it were to come to the worst case scenario, that was. Tikki supposed if they could get her earrings to her parents in time, they could get them to Chat who in turn could be Gentlebug for a fight – but would he be able to fight Marinette alone? Probably not. Maybe Marinette should take the box of the Miraculous with her, so her parents could hand that one over too and then…</p><p>“I don't want to get up, Tikki.”</p><p>The Kwami flinched when she heard her charge speak up. She hadn’t muttered a word ever since she had come back into her room this morning and Tikki was happy she at least seemed to get better – even though they were still a far cry from where she wanted to be.</p><p>But Marinette had to get up. The first step was for her to get up.</p><p>“You should take a shower, Marinette. I’m sure it will help!”, Tikki exclaimed, trying her best to make her voice sound as positive and encouraging as she could. It seemed to have an effect too. Slowly, her charge turned her head to her, starring at her silently.</p><p>It was heartbreaking to see her eyes. They were red-rimmed and swollen but the worst was the expression of utter dread and hopelessness in them.</p><p>Babysteps. They were getting there.</p><p>“Come on! I know you always feel better after having taken a shower! Putting on fresh clothes and getting all the sweat from yesterday away from your skin will absolutely make you feel, feel - fresher! And then, everything will look much, <em>much</em> better already!”</p><p>Marinette kept starring at her. Tikki shifted uncomfortably. But then, finally, her charge averted her eyes and let out a sigh, before murmuring a barely audible “Alright”.</p><p>And thus, Marinette got up, found herself a change of clothes, avoiding anything with red or black on it, before making her way to the bathroom. She could hear the noise of the bakery still – though it had calmed down. Most people had given up on trying to catch a glimpse of her and the countless of fans that had rallied in front of her home, had left for their own homes, to eat lunch or to continue their own lifes.</p><p>It was...relaxing. Not yet completely quiet, but normal.</p><p>It was nice.</p><p>Silently, Marinette entered the bathroom and she was vain enough to regret not having taken a shower earlier. Her face was red and swollen and her hair greasy and unkempt.</p><p>However, she wasn’t vain enough to wash herself properly. Marinette halfheartedly splashed some water and shampoo on her hair and completely ignored anything. Instead, she simply let the water run down her body until she felt as if the heat had burned away all the dirt from before and she could almost imagine as if nothing had happened.</p><p>Then she got out of the shower and made her way back to her room, her body staying on autopilot the entire trek.</p><p>Tikki had been right. She <em>did</em> feel better.</p><p>She still didn’t feel good though.</p><p>Marinette settled back into her throne made of pillows and covers and continued to stare at the opposite wall. She didn’t even feel sad anymore. Just numb. She had successfully distanced herself from the memory enough to not fear an imminent akumatization anymore and instead of dealing with it, she was focusing all her energy on trying to ignore it.</p><p>It was a rather hard task if outside forces reminded one of it.</p><p>“Marinette? I-I heard you shower? Are you ok? Do you need help?”</p><p>Marinette didn’t answer.</p><p>“Honey...Just-Promise me you’ll come down today?”</p><p>Marinette still didn't answer.</p><p>But in her mind, she was saying “Yes”.</p><p> </p><p>. O .</p><p> </p><p>Marinette had never been as fond of silence as she had been in those dark moments. She appreciated it that her parents were giving her space and that Tikki didn’t pester her with inappropriate optimism and even that her friends had stopped messaging her.</p><p>She had hardly read any of the messages they had left her. She had most definitely not listened to any of their voice mails. She wondered if they had visited though. It hadn’t sounded like it – surely her parents would have told her – and a part of Marinette – the one that was currently holding power, because if it didn’t, Marinette wouldn’t be this sobbing mess and she would have gone to school instead of missing even more classes – was mad at them for it.</p><p>She knew it was irrational. They had probably texted her, asked her if they should come over and had then seen her silence for what it was meant to be – a detergent. A sign telling them to back off. But she was still mad. It almost felt like they didn’t care enough to try anyway and as much as Marinette despised herself for thinking like that, she hadn’t been able to stop herself.</p><p>And now, she was welcoming the silence as it calmed her thoughts and she did not have to strain to try and catch a voice, trying to make out her friends in all the chaos.</p><p>But every silence was broken. And even though her entire being screamed, so loud that her thoughts were <em>hurting</em>, that this was wrong and that her mother should <em>go</em>, that she didn’t <em>want </em>this, Marinette was thankful when she heard the tell-tale steps. They were heavier than usual and at first Marinette had thought her father had come up, but then her mother had spoken and Marinette couldn’t help but wonder why her father hadn’t talked to her yet.</p><p>Was he mad? He must have been mad. She would have been mad if she had been in this situation, but it wasn’t fair, <em>because what should she have-</em></p><p>“Honey, we closed the bakery up for today. I-I’m not sure if you wanted us to do that earlier, but you-you haven’t said anything and we kind of figured your probably just wanted to be left alone, so...I-I’m sorry if you were just waiting for everyone to be gone.”</p><p>Marinette didn't answer. She desperately wanted to, but a day of silence and her own stubbornness (and fear – her own fear) were stopping her. She was choking on the lump that all those feelings had formed in her throat and it felt as if she were suffocating.</p><p>“Do-Do you want to come downstairs? We can watch a movie if you want?”</p><p>Her mother deserved better than her silence. She was sweet and caring and oh so patient and all Marinette did was cower beneath a bunch of pillows, too afraid to face the world outside.</p><p>She could do better than this. She <em>had </em>to do better than this. She was Ladybug, for crying out loud!</p><p>Marinette’s voice was hoarse when she spoke and her mother had most likely not heard it at all, but nonetheless, a quiet “No. Thanks.” left her lips and Tikki couldn’t have looked any prouder.</p><p>“I love you honey, ok? You don’t need to be afraid of us. We-We’re here to help you, if you just tell us what to do.”</p><p> </p><p>. O .</p><p> </p><p>“Marinette? It’s almost time for dinner and your dad and I wondered whether you want anything specific?”</p><p>Marinette lifted her head from whether it had been laying when she heard her mother's voice. She had gotten out of bed eventually, choosing to instead sit at her desk, trying to distract herself by designing.</p><p>After starring at her notebook for ten minutes straight, she had given up. Today just wasn’t going to get any better.</p><p>“The shops are still open, there’s still time to buy some groceries!”</p><p>Marinette shifted uncomfortably and turned her head, looking at the still closed trapdoor.</p><p>It looked wrong, closed like it was. It usually was, of course, but somehow, it looked all wrong today.</p><p>Marinette glanced at her fingers.</p><p>She was hungry. She hadn’t eaten anything all day long – save the one cookie Tikki had forced her to ingest. But Marinette didn’t want her mother to buy groceries. She didn’t want her mother to change plans just because of her – She didn’t want to be any bother at all.</p><p>“Do you not want to eat dinner, Marinette?”</p><p>She looked away from the trapdoor, instead choosing to stare at the white sheet of paper in front of her.</p><p>She was Ladybug. She could do this.</p><p>“No, mom. B-But thank you.”</p><p>She didn’t feel secure enough to say anything else. And even though her mother left without saying another word, she could hear Sabine’s relief.</p><p> </p><p>. O .</p><p> </p><p>It was Tikki who came downstairs first. Marinette had fallen asleep – her twisting and turning and her occasional sobs broke the Kwami’s heart all over again – and she knew they had to do something eventually. Marinette couldn't stay holed up in her room forever. Hawkmoth would strike eventually and they needed to be prepared.</p><p>And it’d be easier if she introduced herself to Marinette’s parents first. If she answered all questions now, Marinette wouldn’t have to do that later and could instead talk about the important stuff.</p><p>Amusingly, Tom’s first reaction to Tikki was the same as his daughter’s. And just like Marinette, after she had dodged the many, many pans that had been thrown at her, he calmed down enough for Tikki to talk.</p><p>“I’m a Kwami. I give Ladybug her powers. My name is Tikki and I eat cookies – yours are the best I’ve ever had, by the way!”</p><p>She was offered some by Sabine after she had told them. Marinette’s mother stayed surprisingly calm throughout the explanation, holding her husbands hand to soothe his nervousness.</p><p>In fact “Will Marinette come down today?” was the first thing Sabine asked her and all Tikki could do was shrug, because she didn’t know.</p><p> </p><p>. O .</p><p> </p><p>Marinette did come down eventually. In fact, she stumbled down the stairs, eyes wide and frantically searching for something.</p><p>Or someone.</p><p>The moment Marinette spotted Tikki sitting at the kitchen table she relaxed a bit, before tensing up once she realized her parents where there, too.</p><p>She hadn’t wanted to leave her room. She wasn’t ready <em>yet</em>. But Tikki had been missing and Marinette had panicked and in that moment, making sure that Tikki was alright and hadn’t been snatched away from her was more important than making sure no one ever saw her again.</p><p>And now it was too late to revise that thought.</p><p>Marinette’s shoulders slumped and she didn’t dare to look her parents in the eyes. Already, she could feel the tears spring into her eyes.</p><p>Her parents would be so disappointed. She had lied to them time and time again, hadn’t even <em>told</em> them about what she was doing. They had been worried about Ladybug already, but knowing she had been their daughter the entire time...They’d be mad. They-they’d ground her, for life!. A-And then she’d never be able to-to move out and-and study and be-become a famous fashion designer! A-And what would happen to Chat! They’d take her Miraculous and the box and then Chat wouldn't have a partner anymore and god knows what Hawkmoth would do to him and then he’d get the Miraculous’ and turn his evil plan into reality and everyone would suffer just because she had...</p><p>“Marinette?”</p><p>Marinette didn’t even know who had called her name. She didn’t care. She hugged herself and it was the only thing stopping her from breaking down crying.</p><p>“Marinette, please look at me.”</p><p>Warm hands engulfed her face and worried, Marinette glanced up, just to watch her mother smile at her, relieved.</p><p>“Honey, don’t worry. We’ll figure this out, alright?”</p><p>Marinette was too much of a coward to nod. Her legs were shaking. Would she be able to stand on her own?</p><p>“We’ll have a nice dinner together and then we can talk about what to do, alright? Or-Or if you don’t want to do that, we can talk about something else, your designs, school, your friends or nothing at all!”</p><p>Sabine stepped back a bit to look at her better and Marinette couldn’t help but start sobbing. Her identity had been revealed. They were having this conversation because her identity had been revealed.</p><p>To all of Paris.</p><p>Her eyes started tearing up.</p><p><em>To all of Paris</em>.</p><p>She started shaking harder.</p><p>
  <em>All of Paris. </em>
</p><p>“Marinette?”</p><p>Her parents had to hate her. After all the secrets and lies and-and...</p><p>“Honey, it’s fine. It really is. Don’t worry...”</p><p>And then warmth engulfed her and Marinette felt herself pressed against her mother’s chest. Sabine didn’t even complain when she shamelessly cried into her shirt, simply holding her until she found her words again.</p><p>Her voice was barely audible and interrupted by countless sobs, but that didn’t matter because her daughter was scared right now and that wouldn’t do. That wouldn’t do at all.</p><p>“A-Aren’t you going to be-to be mad at me? B-Because I lied to you a-and snuck out at night and-and...”</p><p>“Oh, honey”, her mother simply said, cradling her closer to her chest and leaning her cheek on her daughter’s head. She melted at her daughter’s voice and couldn’t help but shiver. Whatever had given her daughter the idea that she was mad at her?</p><p>“There's always time for that later – right now, I just want you to know that you’re safe and that you can trust us.”</p><p>“A-And dad?”</p><p>Carefully, Marinette lifted her head from her mother’s chest and looked at her from red-rimmed eyes. Was her father mad at her? She shifted uncomfortably, barely able to look at the tall man, who sat hunched over at the table, occasionally glancing at Tikki who was silently watching the pair.</p><p>When he heard his daughter say “dad” he lifted his head, a sad smile adorning his face.</p><p>This wasn't easy. It wasn’t easy at all. But he wasn’t the only one fighting with something and his worries were so much smaller compared to hers.</p><p>He could hold in all the accusations and all his fears and worries for now. For her sake.</p><p>“It’s fine darling.”</p><p>Tom averted his gaze, letting it fall to the floor again, fidgeting with his fingers. It <em>wasn’t</em> fine, but that didn’t matter.</p><p>“I-I’m working through it. But I’m fine and right now – it’s not me we have to worry about, alright?”</p><p>And then her father looked at her again and smiled at her and for the first time that day, Marinette was able to smile back.</p><p>Babysteps. But they were getting there.</p><hr/><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Please leave a comment if you enjoyed ^^</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This chapter wasn’t planed – the, originally, third one will be posted on (most likely) Saturday and cover the promised Adrien/Chat Noir point of view. When editing I realized I forgot to show Gabriel’s perspective and I decided this would fit best at this point.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The chapters are generally posted in chronological order, however, due to the three-man perspective right at the start (and only at the beginning), there might be some overlap – ergo, Gabriel’s reactions happens at the same time as Marinette’s did, except it only covers early morning/noon.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>What will you do if they know, truly know, who you are?</em>
</p>
<p>.</p>
<p>oOoOo</p>
<p>Forget me not (because I will)</p>
<p>.<br/>oOo</p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>When Gabriel read through the news that morning, he had expected to read up on the election. He expected them to feature an enticing article on one or another culturally relevant subject. He was delighted to hear about a promising young designer who had quit his old label.</p>
<p>Gabriel was not the pickiest when it came to his morning reading. There wasn’t much that he expected and, quite frankly, the identity of his arch nemesis being presented to him on a silver platter had most definitely not been anything he’d ever come to expect.</p>
<p>It was a nice surprise, to be sure. When he had seen the headline he had immediately opened the article, as misleading as the caption might be. He was used to those (“clickbait” as the youth liked to call it) by now; any self-respecting Parisian tabloid published an article on that specific topic at least once a month. They were as bountiful as stars in the sky and just as disappointing, but whenever Gabriel spotted one of them displayed by a <em>trustworthy</em> news source, he couldn’t help but be hopeful.</p>
<p>And this time, for once, he wasn’t disappointed.</p>
<p>It wasn’t just some vague idea blown way out of proportion, some news on how Ladybug might be “a teenage girl”, because, dear god, did anyone ever even look at her? It wasn’t some nonsense about her possibly being of Asian decent or some other trivia fact that got him nowhere closer to getting the Miraculous.</p>
<p>Not this time, it wasn’t. The newspapermight not know her full name yet, but they had a picture of her. Taken from a video posted on the Ladyblog itself, which had managed to capture Ladybug’s de-transformation.</p>
<p>They did know her first name, though, as it had been said by the Ladyblogger herself during previously mentioned footage – and that first name – Marinette – was more than anything Gabriel could have ever hoped for.</p>
<p>Served on a silver platter indeed.Gabriel may be an absent father, but he <em>knew </em>his son’s friends. He knew that Alya Césaire was the “Ladyblogger’s” name and she was friends with his son. He knew both were also friends with a girl called “Marinette Dupain-Cheng” who most likely had a crush on his son and had been one of the people he had already suspected of being Ladybug anyway.</p>
<p>Silently, Gabriel put the newspaper aside. There was no wine to be had, no champagne – it was seven o’clock and he was a self-respecting man! - there were no outcries of triumph or hasty orders for Natalie to come to his office <em>immediately</em>.</p>
<p>There was a self-satisfied smile. A grin, almost. He allowed himself to lean back and indulge in a silent, yet heavy, victory.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Marinette Dupain-Cheng was Ladybug.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He had a face, a name – a home.</p>
<p>His smirk widened.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>. O .</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He had gone back to work not long after, his hands dancing across paper, unbeknownst to the body they belonged to. He was in a daze, similar to when he had married Emilie or when Adrien had been born.</p>
<p>He had won. He had won at life all those times and now he had won a war that had raged for a year too long already.</p>
<p>And once he had made his wish and got to look into his wife’s loving eyes, telling him everything was going to be <em>ok</em>, he’d win once again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>. O .</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It wasn’t until much later – when he had looked at his hand and had seen it move by itself and he had wondered <em>what was going</em> <em>on –</em> he realized he had been right all along. Every scheme, every plan to get that girl akumatized – he had been right.</p>
<p>She would be his ultimate Akuma. One Chat couldn’t defeat, one that would bring him the earrings and ring and would ward him from attacks as he spoke his wish into existence.</p>
<p>It’d be his ultimate victory.</p>
<p>And he could have had it months ago.</p>
<p>Gabriel grin vanished at once.</p>
<p>“Princess Justice”, he murmured, his grin morphing into an ugly frown. She had been ready for his Akuma – his plan had been foiled by coughing fit and while he did not regret having stepped in it was a...setback nonetheless and-</p>
<p>She might be ready once again.</p>
<p>She might be ready once again.</p>
<p>Gabriel’s grin returned. She might be ready once again indeed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>. O .</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She wasn’t ready. Not anymore. When Gabriel had transformed he had immediately zeroed in to her house, feeling for any emotion useful to him – anger, hate, disappointment, humiliation – he got almost lost in the vastness of what was offered to him. Most of them were happy though. There was a lot of curiosity and excitement from all the people crowding the storefront or anyone, really, who lived close-by. Gabriel felt sorrow and grief and fear – he supposed her parents, as they were mixed with pride too and buried that slightest hint of anger he could detect.</p>
<p>Nothing festered. Not the way he needed them to, for him to sent out an Akuma. And the girl herself – he couldn’t feel her at all. No grief, no anger, no fear.</p>
<p>It was as if she had vanished.</p>
<p>Defeated, Gabriel returned to his office. Natalie had been there and brought him a new cup of coffee – it was cold by now. He wondered just how long he had spent up in his observatory.</p>
<p>He was going to leave on an important business trip soon – he’d be out of town for a few days. And already, the window he could have used, <em>should</em> have used had closed.</p>
<p>Gabriel cursed, his hands balled to fists.</p>
<p>It didn’t matter. He could lay in wait, until the time was right. The next time there wouldn’t be a sickly Natalie to consider, there wouldn’t be a time frame that had closed already.He could pressure her until she gave in – either by surrendering or by letting her emotions take over.</p>
<p>He knew her identity – he knew her school her home, her friends.</p>
<p>
  <em>Adrien. Adrien is one of her friends. He might even have a crush on her.</em>
</p>
<p>No. His son would understand. Once his son held his mother in his arms again, he’d understand. Gabriel was <em>this </em>close to getting the Ladybug Miraculous. He wouldn't let that chance slip through his fingers because of mere <em>feelings</em>.</p>
<p>He – finally, after two years of fighting – he finally <em>had her</em>.</p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Fun Fact: The reason this is out already is because I used this to procrastinate on finishing a oneshot, which I used to procrastinate on editing my other story, which in turn I used to procrastinate on doing my university stuff.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>:)</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Please leave a comment if you enjoyed!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>“Did Chat Noir know Ladybug’s identity? Pictures show that… [...]”</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Before reading, please take note of the added tag “Bittersweet ending” - this story doesn’t have a necessarily sad ending, yet it isn’t a strictly happy one either – if that is not up your alley, please consider dropping this story. If not – go ahead and keep reading, though you have been warned.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>oOoOo</p><p>Forget me not (because I will)</p><p>oOoOo</p><hr/><p>There wasn’t just “one” Chat Noir, patrolling the streets of Paris at night. There were three. Most people knew that, too – though they might not always be aware of it.</p><p>There was the jokester Paris knew him as. The pun-loving, somewhat reckless superhero who’d put Paris and Ladybug before himself, any time it was needed.</p><p>There was the good friend he was (he <em>hoped </em>he was) to Ladybug. He loved her-</p><p> </p><p>(<em>He’d always do,</em> <em>because while Kagami was amazing, is amazing, but Ladybug was his first love and sometimes the light would catch her just right or she’d wear hat one smile </em><em>or-</em><em>)</em></p><p> </p><p>-and he’d never forgive himself if something happened to her.</p><p>And there was <em>Chat Noir</em>. Adrien Agreste. A boy sitting in a room taken from every child’s Christmas dream whose biggest fear was to never be able to leave again.</p><p>All of them were different. Paris would never know the advice he gave Ladybug. Ladybug would never know just how <b>much</b> he relied on her <em>not leaving him. </em>Adrien Agreste would never know what it truly meant to be free.</p><p>And yet, all of them had in common that they’d always wanted to know Ladybug’s civilian identity. Paris-Chat Noir had imagined countless time what it’d be like to just drop in during a patrol just to <em>drop her</em> a pun he had come up with on the <em>swing</em>.</p><p>Ladybug-Chat Noit wondered whether he could help her with all the things that were going on in her civilian life-</p><p> </p><p><em>she was getting bullied, he </em>knew<em> she was even if she had never directly told him</em></p><p> </p><p>- and they could, they could-they could talk about more than just the weather.</p><p>And then there was Adrien-Chat Noir. Adrien-Chat Noir who hoped that if he just knew her name – knew where she lived, who her friends were, what she did all day long – she could never leave him like his mom had done.</p><p>And finally, they had gotten their wish, though it had gone nothing the way they had wanted it to.</p><p> </p><p>. O .</p><p> </p><p>He had found out through the Ladyblog – of course he had, all of Paris had after all – and at first, he didn’t believe it. He had opened the blog and had seen a comment and he – he had laughed it off.</p><p>Because of how ridiculous it had sounded. And because he didn’t want it to be true, because if it was true then-it wasn’t how it was supposed to happen and he <em>knew</em> how it was supposed to happen because he had envisioned it a time too many already.</p><p>They’d meet up at a nice cafe (he already had a place planned out – but Ladybug didn’t need to know that) and then they could have a drink or two and talk and laugh and months ago-</p><p> </p><p>and he had left that fantasy behind because she <em>just didn’t like him like that </em>and he knew even if it still hurt, so, <em>so </em>much</p><p> </p><p>-he might have hoped she’d agree to go on a date with him.</p><p>But he still wanted to meet up with her. Still wanted to know who that girl behind the mask was, who had been the first to steal his heart away and would never fully give it back. The girl who he swore to know inside and out and yet – he had failed to pick up on her obvious distress during their battle.</p><p>Everything had been normal up to the point where the Akuma had managed to smash Ladybug’s first Lucky Charm and had then proceeded to fling her through the air.</p><p>He could still hear his own scream. Her transformation was running out and he knew that their protections faded over time.</p><p>This would hurt. And so he screamed and abandoned the Akuma, hoping to catch up to her in time, begging he could spare her the fate of whatever was to come.</p><p>They never broke bones while in their suits. But pain could go a long way.</p><p>Chat did not catch up with her in time. In fact, he didn’t catch up with her at all. All he found were Marinette and Alya, silently starring at each other, eyes widened in shock.</p><p>He should have known. He should have known right then. But he hadn’t and instead, he had snatched up Marinette not sparing Alya another glance-</p><p> </p><p><em>Alya didn’t want his help anyway so </em>of course he would</p><p> </p><p>-and had brought her to safety.</p><p> </p><p>He had joked even. He had held Ladybug in his arms, Ladybug-</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>who had just lost the one thing she hadn’t meant to share with anyone, not him, not her parents, least of all the world</em>
</p><p> </p><p>-and he had <em>joked</em>! Had told her “Don’t worry, purrincess! Ladybug and I have everything under control!”, before leaving her on the rooftop, hoping his words would be enough to cheer her up.</p><p>Marinette hadn't responded. Of course she hadn’t! She hadn’t said a single thing, no quip, not even an eye roll at the nickname. And he<em> should have known</em>. He should have known when Marinette had barely paid attention to him, he should have known when Ladybug had rejoined the battle, her eyes-</p><p> </p><p><em>skyblue</em>, how could he have never <em>recognized that color?!</em></p><p> </p><p>-wide open, dazed in a way that alluded to her mind being elsewhere, just like Marinette’s had been.</p><p>She didn’t quip back at him either. And he had had a guilty consciousness at first, because he thought she had been mad at him.</p><p>She hadn’t been. She had had to deal with the consequence of having her identity revealed in the <em>midst of an </em><em>Akuma battle and he hadn’t noticed</em>.</p><p>He had tried to talk to her, but she hadn’t answered once and he had felt worse and worse and once he had gotten home, he had <em>sulked for an hour</em>.</p><p>Because he had been <em>mad at her</em> for ignoring him.</p><p>And then he had opened the Ladyblog and had read all the comments that demanded that Alya “release the clip” and Chat Noir had been hopeful, because surely, that footage would tell him why his lady had been so distanced.</p><p>It had held the answer. It just wasn’t the one he had expected – he thought maybe he had made a grave mistake and Alya hadn't wanted to hurt him.</p><p>He had never expected to see a flourish of pink to flutter across his screen, revealing his lady’s identity, but he had been, so, <em>so </em>happy, because he had seen Marinette and god, it all <em>made sense now </em>and he felt elevated, because <em>Marinette was his lady</em>! - And then his smile dropped from his face and horror spread through his bones.</p><p>Marinette was Ladybug.</p><p> </p><p>And everyone knew.</p><p> </p><p>. O .</p><p> </p><p>Adrien hadn't slept a wink that night. He had kept turning and tossing all night, trying to find a reason, trying to find a way they could change this, wondering time and time again if he would have been able to do <em>something </em>about it, until Plagg complained and told him to go to sleep already because now <em>he couldn't</em> sleep either (and Adrien knew his Kwami well enough by now to know that really, he was just concerned about him).</p><p>Adrien had stopped turning and tossing after that.</p><p>His thoughts hadn’t.</p><p>. O .</p><p> </p><p>The next morning, when he emerged from his room with dark circles under his eyes, Nathalie didn’t say a thing. Instead, she handed him his schedule for the day and told him to hurry up or else he’d be late for school.</p><p>Of all the days, today wasn’t a day where Adrien wanted to be late. So he hurried to get to the car, overthinking what he was going to say.</p><p>If he had to say anything. Somehow, he doubted Marinette would be there at all. But if she was, what would he say? How would <em>Adrien </em>deal with her identity being revealed and how would Chat Noir deal with it? Should he give her space? Should he comfort her, should he give her space, should he ignore the issues, should he talk about it?</p><p>Should he reveal himself? Did Marinette expect that, now that he knew? Should he talk to her before school (would she be on time? Early?) or during lunch break? Should he hint at it or show her Plagg or transform in front of her or, or…</p><p>Marinette was, indeed, missing from school. Adrien had been relieved and disappointed at the same time. Relieved, because she shouldn’t have to go through this so soon – the moment she’d leave her house she’d be swarmed by everyone and their mother and she <em>shouldn’t have to go through that</em> right now.</p><p>Disappointed, because he wanted to be able to be there for her. As Adrien or Chat Noir because they were <em>friends</em>.</p><p>It hurt when she didn’t respond to any of his messages as either of them. When she didn’t pick up the phone and he felt insulted, a bit, because he was going through it <em>too</em>.</p><p>She wasn’t in it alone!</p><p>And then he had gotten mad at himself because he shouldn’t be thinking about himself right now.</p><p>He had wanted to visit after school, but his father hadn’t let him. Something about a rescheduled piano lesson and then he had been shuffled off during his lunch break and after school, he had been booked for a photoshoot.</p><p>Alya and Nino had wanted to visit too, but Lila had told them not to.</p><p> </p><p>“I know this sounds terrible, Alya, but, you know? Ladybug and I are best friends and this is all about the Ladybug-side of her and she <em>really</em> just wants to be left alone...”</p><p> </p><p>Adrien had wanted to expose her right then and there. There was no “Ladybug side”, there was simply <em>Marinette i</em>(how had he <em>missed</em> that, well he hadn't, but <em>how could he have ever dropped his suspicions?!</em>)<em> b</em>ut Chloé had stopped him.</p><p>Chloé of all people had stopped him.</p><p>“She’s Ladybug. She will want to take care of that Liar by herself.”</p><p>It was one of the first things she had said to him after Miracle Queen and Adrien hated to say that he agreed with her. Marinette <em>would</em> want to take care of Lila on her own. She had wanted to do so months ago and hadn’t it been him who had told her not to?</p><p>She deserved to do it on her own. So he hadn’t said anything and Alya and Nino, and their entire class, hadn’t visited her parents’ shop and neither did he, because he was busy.</p><p>He had never wanted to scream into his father’s or Nathalie’s or <em>anyone’s </em>face that badly.</p><p>His Lady needed him. And he? He wasn’t there to help her.</p><hr/><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This story will not cover any abandonment/bullying plotlines – Marinette’s friends will be healthy, sweet and supportive, however I did want her to have some more time to reflect on her own before/talk to her parents.</p><p>Please leave a comment if you enjoyed!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>"You're my best friend, did you know?" "Huh?" "Don't ever let my civillian best friend hear that, but you are my best friend. I don't even know how that happened."</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>PLEASE READ; THIS IS IMPORTANT. (Only for people who read last chapter before Monday)</p><p>I messed up. Badly.</p><p>As it is now, Chat Noir does not visit Marnette on the first night after the “reveal” as she is asleep already, however, after editing this chapter, I realized that was not my original intent. Chapter two ends on Marinette talking to her parents, Chapter three is Gabriel and Chapter four ends with Adrien throughout the day and Chapter five (this one) was supposed to pick up where things left of in Chapter two – before Marinette goes to bed. But the way Chapter four was written that wouldn’t work anymore, which is why I changed Chapter four – red conning just that last paragraph, where Chat fails to talk to Marinette. Ergo, this is still the first day after the reveal, at night.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>oOoOo</p><p>.</p><p>
  <strong>Forget me not (because I will)</strong>
</p><p>.<br/>
oOo</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Sleepily rubbing her eyes, Marinette let out a yawn, her gaze lingering on the black screen of her phone for only a few seconds, before darting away again. It was evening already – night, really – and she did not want to be reminded of the day that was to come. Her phone had stopped stopped dinging hours ago, after Tikki had disabled all and any notifications from Marinette’s various social media accounts, and Marinette had tried her hardest to forget anyone’S existence but her own. She had never really read any of the messages anyway, of course. Tikki hadn’t allowed her to – and most of them were written by strangers trying to message her, thanking her for her service or pretending to be Hawkmoth.</p><p>She had never truly looked into it.</p><p>But Whatsapp had been left on (“You never know, Marinette! You may want to talk to your friends!”) and had been no way to keep her friends from calling her. Even after Marinette had turned off her phone, she couldn’t stop Tikki informing her that Chat had called or messaged her.</p><p>She didn’t want to be reminded of everyone else. Just this one, she wanted to be selfish, wanted to stay within the comfort of her own room, without having to worry about anyone else.</p><p>Marinette had failed to do even that. And iIt broke her heart, knowing that her kitty was so worried about her. But she couldn’t look him in the eyes. Not after she had ruined everything and especially not after the talk they had, shortly after Marinette had become the new guardian.</p><p> </p><p>.x.x.x.</p><p> </p><p>„<em>Ladybug? Can we talk? For a second?“</em></p><p><em>Chat was sheepishly rubbing his neck when he approached he</em> <em>r</em> <em>, </em> <em>a habit of his Ladybug was somewhat fond of – for all the times he had managed to fluster her (damn that stupid cat and his stupid flirting!) she didn’t mind if he was feeling shy for once. So she</em> <em> smiled at him and nodded, leading him over to a more secluded area of the roof they were standing on. They were on patrol and about to finish, but she still had time left and talking to Chat Noir was always a joy. Ever since the battle against Mirac</em> <em>le Queen they had </em> <em>only </em> <em>grown closer and closer – and Marinette </em> <em>was glad they had</em> <em>. She felt like she could talk to him about anything </em> <em>and right now, she needed </em> <em>a friend</em> <em> like that more than ever.</em></p><p><em>S</em><em>he couldn’t talk to Alya about her new responsibilities as the guardian, nor could she cry her eyes out when she remembered Master Fu was gone </em>because of her<em>.</em></p><p>
  <em>But she could with Chat. And that meant the world to her.</em>
</p><p>“<em>What is it Chat? You’ve been nervous all patrol long...”, </em><em>Ladybug</em><em> said, </em><em>tilting her head in curious confusion </em><em>as</em> <em>patted</em><em> the space next to her. Her feet were dangling from the roof, down into the alley </em><em>below – </em><em>t</em><em>hey were farther away from the rooftop balcony now.</em></p><p>
  <em>She’d rather not be overheard.</em>
</p><p><em>But Chat didn’t sit down. Instead, he looked anywhere but her, seemingly fighting himself. </em> <em>Her brows creased. Was something wrong? Had she missed something? He had </em> <em>seemed</em> <em> nervous, but not in a bad way and Ladybug hadn’t thought there’d be anything serious weighing down her partner. </em> <em>He wasn’t usually someone to silently hold a grudge against he</em> <em>r.</em></p><p>“<em>I-Just-How are you dealing with being the guardian?”</em></p><p><em>Ladybug raised a single eyebrow at his question – it wasn’t what he had wanted to ask. But he was looking at her with his big kitten eyes and she felt herself melt. Averting her eyes she </em> <em>scouted the rooftop for anyone who could be eavesdropping.</em></p><p>“<em>It’s-It’s going. The Kwami’s are alright and behaving for the most part and I’m making some progress in translating the book, but...” She let out a wistful sigh. “...I just wish Master Fu were still here. It’d be so much easier. I know he said I was fully trained, but it </em><em>has</em><em> barely been half a year and </em><em>it just feels like it’s too much sometimes and...”</em></p><p><em>She let out another sigh and</em><em> fixed</em> <em>her gaze </em><em>back </em><em>on</em><em> him, a warm smile on her lips.</em></p><p>“<em>But don’t worry. I can handle it – the Kwami’s are </em><em>trying to help out too!</em><em>”</em></p><p>
  <em>She chuckled when she recalled Wayzz trying to help her “picking tea leaves”. It hadn’t been tea leaves and now her balcony plants were partially ruined, but she had appreciated the effort.</em>
</p><p>“<em>That...That’s great, Ladybug! I’m glad everything’s working out so far...”</em></p><p><em>But Chat didn’t look as if he were genuinely happy for her. He</em><em> seemed sad and she didn't know why, but she </em>did <em>know that he had yet to breach the topic he truly wanted to talk about. </em><em>So s</em><em>he got up, smiling at him. Sometimes her kitten needed some coaxing and if he truly didn’t want to talk about it anymore, she'd kn</em><em>o</em><em>w soon enough.</em></p><p>“<em>Hey, Chat?”</em></p><p>“<em>Yes?”</em></p><p>“<em>This isn’t about me handling the Kwami’s, is it?”</em></p><p>
  <em>He froze. Then he shook his head.</em>
</p><p>“<em>No. I just...Now that you're the guardian I just...You’re making the rules now. We can do whatever we want!”</em></p><p><em>Ladybug perked up at that. </em><em>That was right</em><em>! She </em>did <em>make</em><em> the rules! </em><em>It’s something she had talked about with Tikki already! </em><em>She felt excitement bubble up in her – she had been looking </em>forward<em> to asking this too! - and stepped even closer, her eyes lighting up with the sort of giddy happiness one felt during Christmas or their birthday.</em></p><p>
  <em>To her, it was all the same anyway.</em>
</p><p>“<em>I wanted to talk about that to you! I-I don’t feel comfortable with being the only to be, well, the guardian...” </em><em>Chat and she were </em>partners <em>after all </em><em>and she would never want it to be any other way. “...</em><em>And while there is no such position as a “Co-guardian”...”</em></p><p><em>L</em> <em>a</em> <em>dybug</em> <em> trailed off and chuckled and if she had </em> <em>to her side</em> <em> up, she would have seen Chat’s ears </em> <em>dro</em> <em>o</em> <em>ping and his head tilted away from her</em> <em> and she would have known Chat wasn’t talking about her duties as the guardian.</em></p><p>
  <em>As it was, however, Ladybug didn’t look up.</em>
</p><p>“<em>I was wondering...would you...Look, there’s this tome with all this information and I though, maybe you can have it, or, well, the pictures, because I don’t have the actual tome, and then we can...”</em></p><p>“<em>Can we reveal ourselves to each other?”, Chat interrupter her, hastily pressing out his question before stumbling back, starring at her with wide eyes. </em><em>His ears were pressed flat against his head and he looked everything like the scared kitten he was, </em><strike><em>but shouldn’t be</em></strike><em>.</em></p><p><em>Shocked, Ladybug </em> <em>lifted her head</em> <em>. She opened </em> <em>her mouth to say something, but Chat was too scared to hear her just yet.</em></p><p><em>If he didn’t </em> <em>say his piece now then...then…</em></p><p>
  <em>Ladybug wasn’t his father. And she’d never treat him like his father did.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He was still scared though.</em>
</p><p>“<em>You're the guardian now! Y-You make the rules and I know that Master Fu didn’t want us to reveal us to each other, but now that I already now who you chose </em><em>as secondary heroes </em><em>and all that, I though</em><em>t-I though</em><em> that, maybe, we-</em><em>we</em><em> could change that? Maybe-Maybe it would be better for us to know who we are? In real life?”</em></p><p>
  <em>Ladybug stared at him, the way he looked at her with big pleading eyes and the fact that she hadn’t immediately given in to them said a great deal about how important keeping her identity secret was to her.</em>
</p><p>“<em>Chat...”</em></p><p>“<em>It’s not because I want to ask you on a date or anything! I-I’m seeing someone! In real life!”</em></p><p><em>Ladybug didn’t like the way Chat looked when he said that. He was smiling but it seemed forced and somehow wrong and not </em>happy at all<em>.</em></p><p><em>Maybe she was overthinking things. Maybe she was jealous. She had gone on a few dates with Luka and while it was pleasant and fun and </em><em>he</em><em> definitely made her heart beat faster when he smiled at her </em>just <em>the right way, it didn’t feel...it didn’t feel like love. It didn’t feel the way she </em><strike><em>felt</em></strike><em> used to feel about Adrien and maybe it didn’t even feel the way she felt about Chat.</em></p><p><em>But that didn’t matter. </em> <em>Because Chat’s private life was off-limits anyway, so she had no right to speculate about the way he felt.</em></p><p>“<em>Chat, that’s not it. I know you wouldn’t do that – I know you want to be friends and-and so do I!” </em><em>And then her eyes filled with regret. “</em><em>But...it isn’t safe. Us knowing each other’s identity could...could ruin </em>everything<em>!”</em></p><p><em>Her </em> <em>gaze</em> <em> returned to</em> <em> him again and </em> <em>she </em> <em>felt like she had been punched in the gut. </em></p><p><em>Chat wasn’t looking at her. </em><em>He was biting his lips and his shoulder were slumped in a sign of utter defeat.</em> <em>Ladybug</em><em> averted her eyes again. This was the right things to do. Just </em><em>because</em><em> something hurt, it didn’t mean it was </em>wrong<em>. Just because something felt </em>wrong<em> it didn’t meant it was.</em></p><p>
  <em>They had to stay safe. Now more than ever.</em>
</p><p>“<em>I-We can’t. Not yet. Maybe if we defeat Hawkmoth we can-can meet up somewhere...”</em></p><p> </p><p><em>Under the Eifeltower and then they’d go to a cafe and she already knew </em>which one.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>...and then we can have a nice drink...”</em></p><p> </p><p><em>She’d order a hot, spicy chocolate to try and cover up her blush, because, regardless of who was under that mask, Marinette </em>knew<em> she’d blush.</em></p><p> </p><p>“<em>...and exchange numbers and, you know, be friends outside of the mask as well. But right now? Right now, it's just too dangerous.”<br/>
<br/>
</em><em>She looked away from him. She could feel his disappointment but she knew he’d stay quite, because that was just the way Chat was. He rarely ever spoke up, instead choosing to swallow any feelings he had and only ever lashing out against himself.</em></p><p>
  <em>She didn’t want him to be disappointed.</em>
</p><p>“<em>But-But after Hawkmoth is defeated, we’ll reveal ourselves! I promise! And you’ll be the first one to know!”</em></p><p>
  <em>Chat had still moped and she had been somewhat mad at him, because it wasn’t like she was doing it on purpose.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>.x.x.x.</p><p> </p><p>Marinette had <em>promised </em>him he'd be the first one to know. She had <em>promised </em>him and now <em>everyone else </em>had known before him.</p><p>She hadn’t just failed her duty as guardian, she had failed her partner and that hurt so much more.</p><p>“Marinette?”, Tikki asked, yawning and just now Marinette realized how late it was. Her Kwami usually didn’t stay up too late, even if Marinette designed late into the night. She must have been double tired after today.</p><p>Marinette yawned too.</p><p>“Is everything ok, Tikki?”</p><p>Her Kwami floated up next to her, her eyes blinking slowly and Marinette couldn’t help it when her eyes trailed off to look at the clock on her desk, before they snapped back, desperately trying to focus.</p><p>“I know sleeping will be difficult tonight, but we both had an exhausting day and-maybe we should go to sleep?”</p><p>It had been exhausting indeed – even if she had ended up watching her favorite Disney movies and turned the volume up high enough as to not hear any sounds from down below.</p><p>But right now, Marinette was staring at the white sheet of paper in front of her, eyes still unfocused.</p><p>She frowned. She was tired, too. She hadn’t even noticed.</p><p>“You can go to sleep already, Tikki. I-I think I’ll stay up a bit longer.”</p><p>Marinette returned to silence and kept staring at the paper in front of her. She didn’t fail to notice her Kwami’s worried eyes on her back though.</p><p>“Marinette, what’s wrong? It’s late. Even for you! You haven't slept properly yesterday either! What if an Akuma attacks now? You’re in now shape to fight them!”</p><p>Marinette chuckled dryly at that.</p><p>“The only person Hawkmoth will try and akumatize right now is me.”</p><p>She was evading the point and Marinette knew it. So did Tikki and she hovered closer, staring at her from big, blue eyes that Marinette refused to meet. She tried to stifle another yawn. Her Kwami noticed nonetheless.</p><p>“Why don’t you want to go to sleep, Marinette?”</p><p>Tikki didn’t get an answer immediately. Instead she saw Marinette’s hand shaking, before her charge finally murmured:”Remember “Sandboy”?”</p><p>Understanding flooded Tikki’s eyes.</p><p>“I-I’m scared I’ll have a nightmare and then Hawkmoth can use that to akumatize me and-and I can’t get akumatized right now!”</p><p>Marinette’s eyes filled with tears and she quickly wiped her sleeve across her face. If she got akumatized Hawkmoth was sure to get his hands on her Miraculous <em>and </em>the Miraculous Box and there was nothing Chat could do to stop her. And how would he cleanse the Akuma anyway? He couldn't do it on his own! They needed each other!</p><p>She had already been a bother for Chat too much.</p><p>“But Marinette! Staying awake won’t help you either – you’ll have to sleep eventually!”</p><p>“I know”, Marinette answered and sighed, letting her hand go limb. The pen fell from her hand with a “klack” and disappeared somewhere beneath her desk, but she couldn’t care less.</p><p>“How about you go to sleep first? And after some time you wake up and then I’ll got to sleep. We can switch like that and if any pesky Akuma shows up we can wake the other and then I can calm down with your help. It worked with Lila, don’t you remember?”</p><p>Both knew that this was way more serious than any of the stunts Lila had pulled, but Tikki chose not too comment on it.</p><p>“Can’t your parents stay up? You need your sleep, Marinette!”</p><p>Marinette’s head whirled around and she stared at Tikki, incredulously, her eyes bulging out at the idea itself.</p><p>Her parents?!</p><p>“What? No! They’re bakers – I can’t just keep them up all night! Their day has been as exhausting as mine – if not even more so – and tomorrow won’t be any better! I-I’m sorry, Tikki. I’m sure we can find a better solution tomorrow...”</p><p>“I’m sure your parents wouldn’t mind!” “Of course they wouldn’t mind, but I can’t just bother them like that!” “Marinette, don’t be <em>stubborn</em>.”</p><p>The Kwami stopped for a second, averting her eyes, before determination setteld in her eyes and she focused on Marinette once more.</p><p>“Don’t you think this is a bit more important?”</p><p>Tikki’s comment hurt. More than her Kwami could know, because, <em>yes</em>, <em>of course </em>Ladybug was more important than her parents’ shop, but Marinette didn’t <em>want </em>it to be more important.</p><p>“Go to sleep, Tikki. I’m sure my plan will work. When do my plans ever <em>not </em>work?”, she murmured, refusing to look at her Kwami even more than before and Tikki knew she had crossed a boundary right there.</p><p>Marinette tried to smile but couldn’t force the corners of her mouth up and that left Tikki to think of all the plans that had, in fact, failed.</p><p>But she didn’t mention it. Her charge was stubborn and her mind was made up.</p><p>“Alright”, Tikki relented with a sigh that told Marinette everything she needed to know. “But you’ll set an alarm for three am and after that, I don’t want to hear any more complaints from you, understood?"</p><p>The way Tikki puffed out her chest and flew upwards, looking all self-important and mighty did elicit a chuckle from Marinette.</p><p> </p><p>“Understood, <em>mom</em>.”</p><p> </p><p>. O .</p><p> </p><p>It was around midnight when Marinette decided to head out. She kept dozing off and had decided that fresh, cool air might help her stay awake more easily. Of course, she could have simply asked Tikki to get up earlier – her Kwami wouldn’t have minded – but Marinette didn’t want to bother her. And she hadn’t been outside at all today, anyway – too scared a paparazzi might try to snatch pictures of her. Marinette could already vividly imagine the next day’s headline, should that have happened.</p><p> </p><p>“LADYBUG ON THE BRINK OF AKUMATIZATION!!!”</p><p> </p><p>“MDC MAY SUCCUMB TO HAWKMOTH!!!”</p><p> </p><p>Now, wouldn’t that be a treat for Scarlet Moth?</p><p>No, pictures were out of the question until she managed to look somewhat decent. And today, she hadn’t been able to shower until noon.</p><p>It was dark now. If anyone had been crazy enough to stay out this late they wouldn’t get any good pictures anyway.</p><p>Marinette yawned and blinked the tears away. She looked out over the rooftops, wishing she could see the stars. When she had been younger – before becoming Ladybug – her parents would have taken her outside of Paris for vacation sometimes, traveling through France to places more peaceful than their capital and the sky had been littered with stars.</p><p>It had been a sight to behold and Marinette missed it. Of course, her parents still went on vacation, but Marinette couldn’t and she had always needed to make up an excuse why she couldn’t come.</p><p>And she had been so excited for this year, too, because she could have used the Horse Miraculous to get back quickly. She knew from Chat that he never got to go on vacation and Marinette hadn’t been able to wait to finally catch some fresh air.</p><p>Nowadays she’d probably need the Horse Miraculous to silently watch the stars even <em>after </em>already having left Paris. Who knew what Hawkmoth might do. What people that recognized her would do. Already, her face had been plastered all over the world.</p><p>Tears started pooling in Marinette’s eyes and she leaned on the railing, desperately trying to stay awake. It was a tribute to Tikki’s reasoning that Marinette didn’t hear the boots landing behind her, because those steps could have belonged, to Mayura, heck, <em>Hawkmoth</em> even, and she had been to tired to notice.</p><p>Luckily, it was neither Hawkmoth nor Mayura, nor Shadow Moth.</p><p>It was Chat Noir.</p><p> </p><p>“Lady-Prince-Marinette?”</p><p> </p><p>Marinette almost screamed when she heard the voice but then she realized it was <em>Chat</em> and she couldn’t possibly scream like that at <em>Chat</em>.</p><p>Because he was here. She hadn’t answered him once, hadn’t left a single voicemail but he was here nonetheless, not knowing whether he’d be welcomed with open arms.</p><p>Maybe he shouldn’t be here, because Marinette felt her numbness break again and all the desperation she had been bottling up threatened to spill over once more. But she turned around anyway, because she couldn’t show her kitty the cold shoulder.</p><p>She wanted to turn back around in shame not a second later.</p><p>Chat looked horrible. Dark circles adorned his eyes and his hair looked even more disheveled than usually.</p><p>Marinette was feeling new tears starting to well up in her eyes and because she didn’t want to cry in front of him, she bridged the distance and hugged him and once his arms were hugging her back, she started letting them go.</p><p>She wasn’t having a breakdown like she had had with her mother – she was too tired for that and too done with the day already. She was simply quietly sobbing and Chat held her, not complaining, not commenting, just <em>being</em> there.</p><p>It was soothing. She knew that, eventually, Chat was saying something, but she didn’t know what, but it didn’t <em>matter</em> because she knew Chat and he’d be saying warm, soft things to reassure her and it made Marinette sob all over again because his everlasting optimism and his unconditional <em>trust</em> in her astonished her time and time again.</p><p>She had messed up time and time again. During their first battle, Volpina, when she hadn’t told him about the Guardian, when she had been downright <em>terrible </em>to him while battling Reflekta 2.0 and when they had last faced off against Hawkmoth.</p><p>And he had never stopped trusting her.</p><p>Hours could have passed and Marinette would have stayed in his embrace, but she was tired and she yawned again and took it as an opportunity to move back a bit, studying Chat’s face more thoroughly.</p><p>He still looked horrible. It was even worse up close.</p><p>The understanding smile on his lips and the soft whisper of “It’s going to be ok, princess” send her straight back over the edge and she fled back into his arms.</p><p>This time she didn't silently sob. But she didn’t care, because Chat was here and Chat would scare away any Akuma that would get to close to her.</p><p>Moments passed – Marinette didn't count how many – and then, when she had calmed down a bit, Chat carefully pushed her away a bit, to get a better look at her face. Worriedly he studied it, before the light was back in his eyes and they shone in that brilliant shade of green that Marinette had <em>tried</em> to mirror in the hat she had knitted him for Christmas but had failed to do so.</p><p>“It will be fine, Marinette. I promise.”</p><p>And his eyes shone with such warmth Marinette felt her starting to shake again.</p><p>He had called her Marinette and Princess and he seemed to make it so <em>easy, </em>viewing Ladybug and Marinette as the same person.</p><p>Her lip started quivering.</p><p>“S-S-Stop sayin’ that, you-you s’supid cat! Y-You’re gonnam-make me cry all-all over again!”</p><p>His smile turned teasing and Marinette drowned in the comfort in his eyes.</p><p>“Aww, bugaboo, don’t say that. What a terrible partner would I be if I made you cry?”</p><p>He hugged her again, but Marinette felt herself slowly calm down and then she stepped back and looked up at him. She studied his face and then – she smiled. Through red, swollen eyes, but she smiled nonetheless. Because this was Chat, her partner, and that alone was reason enough to smile at him.</p><p>Once again she noticed the dark circles under his eyes – if she hadn’t known him so well, she wouldn’t have spotted them – someone knew how to use concealer. But they were there nonetheless and, almost immediately, Marinette got attacked by a bad consciousness. Her gaze dropped to the ground and she stepped back, hugging herself.</p><p>She didn’t deserve Chat’s embrace. She should have talked to him earlier – should have told them that she was <em>fine</em> and that he didn’t have to worry. But instead, she had been on her room, sulking about her <em>own</em> mistake.</p><p>“H...” - She yawned - “How are you feeling?”, Marinette whispered, once she couldn't stand the confusion and hurt in Chat’s gaze anymore. Chat instantly sobered up, stepping away from her.</p><p>“I? What do you mean “how do I feel”? Did you-did you think I’d be disappointed?”</p><p>He looked at her incredulously and seemed almost <em>insulted </em>by the notion she might think he was disappointed and Marinette smiled at that.</p><p>She hadn’t worried about that. Maybe she'd worry anyone else thinking that way but not Chat. Not her partner.</p><p>Hearing him say it was still nice though.</p><p>She peered out over the skyline, enjoying the silence of the night. She hardly heard the sounds of passing cars or of people quietly talking on the streets and it was relaxing to know that no crowds were assembled just outside her home.</p><p>“No. I-You’re too...too...amazing to be disappointed...”</p><p>Marinette didn’t notice him blush at her words.</p><p>He didn’t mind.</p><p>“I was-I was worried you’d be mad”, she eventually admitted, knowing she sounded ridiculous.</p><p>And <em>now </em>he truly did look offended and the way his ears twitched and his tail lashed out he made an absolutely ridiculous picture that <em>almost </em>made Marinette chuckle.</p><p>Her partner had always had a penchant for cheering her up after all.</p><p>“Mad? Why would I be mad at you, Marinette? If anything, I’m mad at Alya for livestreaming everything!”</p><p>“Please don be mad at her. She didn’t mean to.”</p><p>“You’re just saying that, because she's your best friend”, Chat countered but he smiled at her and Marinette knew he wasn’t being serious and smiled too. With just a few words, Chat had managed to chase away any gloomy thoughts she had had. Even if just for a short while, she found relief in the silence of her own thoughts.</p><p>Then she yawned again and Chat frowned.</p><p>“Are you tired?”</p><p>Marinette didn’t answer (but she could feel herself blush).</p><p>“Why are you still up anyway? Shouldn’t you rest?”</p><p>“I...” Sheepishly, Marinette evaded his gaze. “I’m afraid I might get akumatized in my sleep. Because of dreams, you know? Remember “Sandboy”?”</p><p>Of course Chat remembered “Sandboy”. It had been one of the worst Akuma’s they had ever needed to battle after all and the things he had been shown that night would haunt him forever. And knowing Hawkmoth could akumatize you even if you were not truly awake was an even scarier thought.</p><p>“Tikki’s – you met her before, didn’t you? - ‘sleep right now and we’ll...we’ll switch in an hour or s’. Then I can sleep and after another three hours she can and...” Marinette yawned. “...we’ll see what will happen once the night ‘s over...”</p><p>Marinette trailed off and she could feel her partner’s burning stare because he thought it was a terrible plan. And when she looked up, his nose was all scrunched together.</p><p>It made Marinette giggle. Which made Chat blush, before he shot her an indignant glare, which didn’t look nearly as mad as it could, because he was still smiling.</p><p>And then his smile brightened and she knew he had an idea.</p><p>“I can stay over, if you want? Make sure that no pesky Akuma appear? And if one does, I can always cataclysm them!”</p><p>He looked at her proudly, chest all puffed out and head held high, and Marinette stared back in astonishment. But it seemed to look more like horror (maybe it was because of how tired she was), because, after taking in her reaction, Chat backpedaled <em>immediately</em>.</p><p>“Oh, gosh, Marinette, I’m so, so sorry. I definitely overstepped boundaries, but I didn’t mean it like that! I-You have a chaise! I remembered that you have a chaise and I thought I could stay there during the night, you know, keep watch and, god, no I didn’t mean...”</p><p>“Wha’? No! Tha’-that’s not what I meant! I just-I was surprised you offered!”, Marinette interrupted him, scrambling back with burning cheeks.Chat tilted his head to the side.</p><p>“Surprised that I offered? Why wouldn’t I?”</p><p>“’s late. You-You can’t stay up all night...”</p><p>She yawned again. Chat seemed to find it amusing as he started to chuckle. She tried to glare at him, but failed miserably.</p><p>She yawned yet another time. Chat stopped chuckling, but the corners of his lips were still lifted teasingly.</p><p>“It’s nothing. I don’t mind!”</p><p>He’d probably be able to sleep better himself if he could make sure that Marinette got a good night’s rest.</p><p>Marinette seemed to disagree.</p><p>“Chat. No. You can’t stay up all night. You have school tomorrow and I don’t want you to stay up all night just because of me!”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>I don’t want to be a bother</em>”, she added silently. She had been too much of a bother already.</p><p> </p><p>She turned around, huffing and keeping her eyes as wide open as she could. The chilly air burned in them, but the pain meant she wouldn’t fall asleep just yet.</p><p>“You know, I can always just wait until you fall asleep here and carry you inside afterwards.”</p><p>“You have to ‘leep too...”, Marinette responded, leaning on the railing once more. Chat simply grinned and stood next to her, glancing at her occasionally.</p><p>Marinette was stubborn, but, apparently, it only took ten minutes for her stubbornness to be broken if she was <em>really </em>exhausted.</p><p>“You should <em>really </em>go to bed, purrincess”, Chat said to her after she yawned yet another time. Marinette was barely awake enough to lift her head and glance at him.</p><p>“N’t tired yet...”</p><p>He smiled at her softly, before putting a hand on her shoulder and slowly pushing her away from the railing.</p><p>“Uhuh, that’s exactly what is sounds like, princess… “Am not princess!” “...right now you are. Now, go on, you have a difficult day ahead of you and need your beauty sleep.” “Don’ need beauty sleep.” “You don’t hear me disagreeing with that, m’lady. I still don’t think staying up until 2am is a good idea.”</p><p>“Hm”, Marinette murmured, not having enough willpower to get out of Chat’s warm embrace. It felt like they were moving, but Marinette wasn’t too sure and she couldn't see anything, because her eyes refused to open up again.</p><p>“Promise me you will talk to your friends tomorrow?”, Chat asked, before helping her down into her room.</p><p>“...Friends?”</p><p>“Yes?”</p><p>Marinette frowned and owlishly opened her eyes to try and get a look at his stupidly grinning face. It wasn’t stupidly grinning though and instead Marinette found herself mesmerized by his cat ears – they looked so <em>fluffy</em>! - and she extended her hand to scratch them.</p><p>Maybe it was her sleepiness, but Marinette could have <em>sworn </em>that Chat purred at that.</p><p>“How you kno’ I haven’ talked to the...’em already...”</p><p>Marinette wasn’t awake enough to think that thought through anyway.</p><p>“I know <em>you</em>, bugaboo, and that’s enough. Now, promise me?”</p><p>“...promise if you stay over...”, she responded, her eyes closing already as she fell into her pillows. If she had been awake, she would have never asked but she wasn’t and Chat simply smiled softly and pushed a stray look out of her face, before sliding into the bed next to her and putting his arms around her. He chuckled, before he answered.</p><p>“Whatever the lady wishes, the lady will get.”</p><p>His words pulled a happy smile on Marinette’s lips and she shuffled closer, hugging her personal cushion heater.</p><p>“...’s good”, she murmured, before her brows furrowed and her smile slipped away.</p><p>Chat’s own smile fell too, because he had wanted to bottle up that expression to remember for the rest of his life.</p><p>“Will you be there tomorrow morning?”, Marinette asked, the last coherent she could manage this late and Chat shook his head, regret evident in his eyes.</p><p>“No. I have school – but I promise, I’ll stay as long as I can.”</p><p>And that? That was enough for Marinette to know she wouldn’t be plagued with nightmares tonight.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Leave a comment if you liked ^^</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>"What a relief it is to finally turn on your phone again - after it hasn't been charged for two days!"</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>oOoOo</p><p>.</p><p>
  <strong>Forget me not (because I will)</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>.<br/>oOo</p><hr/><p>The sun wasn’t shining. There were not chirping birds either. But Marinette felt better. She did not, by any means, feel good – but better. She felt...tentatively alright. And when Tikki assured her that everything was going to be ok, Marinette believed her. Maybe it was the conversation she had had with Chat, maybe it was the night of rest she had had or maybe it was just because today the sun might not be shining but the clouds seemed just a little bit less looming and dark.</p><p>Regardless. It didn’t matter. Marinette felt better. Though her parents had asked her to stay at home and Marinette still did not dare to leave her room, too scared of the many noises that filled her parents’ bakery once more.</p><p>But she felt better.</p><p> </p><p>And she had promised Chat to talk to her friends.</p><p> </p><p>It wasn’t often that Marinette found herself staring at her switched off phone. In fact, most of the time she stared at a very much switched <em>on </em>phone, waiting for a message from some guy or another.</p><p>Today she wanted the exact opposite to happen. She wanted to <em>not </em>look at a very much switched <em>off</em> phone, hoping that not a single message was sent her way. But she knew better than that. Alya was probably already spamming her phone after she had realized Marinette hadn’t come to school today either. And Alya deserved an answer too, because Marinette hadn’t said a single word to her ever since she had begged her best friend to turn off her camera.</p><p> </p><p>.x.x.x.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Marinette?”</em></p><p><em>Ladybug’s entire world shattered in that single moment. She had been </em>revealed<em> during a live stream. And she had been called out too.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Alya only knew one Marinette.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She had been in a few of Alya’s videos.</em>
</p><p><em>Alya had </em>thanked <em>her, by name, after she had organized an interview with </em>Ladybug <em>for her. </em></p><p>
  <em>If that wasn’t the most damning evidence, Marinette didn’t know what else could be.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“<em>...nette, Marinette, oh god, Mari, I-I’m so sorry, I-I-I...Please, Marinette, talk to me!”</em></p><p> </p><p><em>Alya’s phone clattered to the floor and suddenly, her best friend was shaking her and all Marinette could do was slowly look up as she felt her vision fill up with horror and her ears with that </em>goddamn <em>white noise.</em></p><p> </p><p>“<em>...something, please! Please! I-I didn't do it on purpose, I swear girl!”</em></p><p> </p><p><em>Marinette wanted to say something. Wanted to calm Alya but she couldn’t, because she was still frozen to her spot, shaking and unable to properly </em>hear<em> what Alya was telling her.</em></p><p> </p><p>“<em>Marinette! Marinette, please, the Akuma!”</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em>It was Tikki’s voice that pulled her from her thoughts and she glanced sideways at her Kwami who looked at her from pleading eyes.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>And then she heard the footsteps again and turned around, watching the towering giant come closer and closer.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“<em>...we can still make things ok, we can...</em></p><p> </p><p>“…<em>transform, Marinette!...need to stop the Akuma! Please!”</em></p><p> </p><p><em>Right. Transform. They needed Ladybug right now. </em> <em>And just when Marinette wanted to say the magic words a </em> <em>pained</em> <em> voice cut through the fog, screaming her name.</em></p><p> </p><p>“<em>LADYBUG! </em><em><b>LADYBUG</b></em><em>!”</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em>And then she saw another shadow come closer with two cat ears on top and a tail agitatedly swishing behind him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Chat came to a stop in front of them, eyes wide in panic and widening even more when he saw them.</em>
</p><p>“<em>Alya? Marinette? Wh-What are you doing here? There’s a dangerous Akuma on the loose!”</em></p><p>
  <em>And before Marinette had a chance to say anything, Chat had swooped her up, carrying her away bridal-style while berating her for being so close to an attack.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>.x.x.x.</p><p> </p><p>She knew it wasn't truly Alya's fault – the reporter had never wanted this. As much as her best friend had always wanted to know Ladybug's secret identity, she had given up on that dream a long time ago.</p><p>And Alya was a hero unmasked herself. The crowd hadn't left her home for days before they had accepted that Rena Rouge did, in fact, not know anything noteworthy and, surely, she would never want to put anyone else through that.</p><p>Least her idol.</p><p>But Alya had livestreamed it and Alya's blog had shown her de-transform and as much as Marinette knew that she <em>couldn't</em> fault Alya – she should have rested earlier, should have transformed twice, shouldn't have been so <em>goddamn stubborn</em> – it felt like she should. Like she should be mad at her and – and Marinette had been too scared of her own response.</p><p>She hadn’t answered her phone, hadn’t responded to any messages and simply let herself be. She could hear the crowds downstairs. They had come back today and if anything, there were <em>more </em>now.</p><p>Marinette hugged her knees and bit her lip, before letting out a sigh.</p><p>This <em>wasn’t </em>Alya’s fault. It was as much Alya’s fault as it was hers so there was no reason to be mad or angry or scared.</p><p>And Alya would understand why she had kept it a secret. She <em>had </em>to.</p><p>With shaking hands, Marinette finally grabbed her phone, turning it on and waiting the agonizing thirty seconds (it felt like an <em>hour</em>) until it was fully switched on.</p><p>And then it exploded with messages she had received.</p><p>She completely ignored Instagram and Twitter. Anyone could have found her there and her friends wouldn't have contacted her that way.</p><p>She skipped the millions of voicemails as well, simply because she didn’t dare to face their voices yet – text could only convey so much disappointment, sadness, regret, anger or whatever else her friends had felt yesterday.</p><p>And today. She had just gotten another message, from Adrien this time, asking her if she was ok.</p><p>Usually Marinette would have at least smiled and maybe blushed (and a month earlier, she <em>might</em> have squealed into her pillow), but right now she simply stared at the message.</p><p>She wished Chat were here.</p><p>Marinette checked Alya’s messages first – she was her best friend, barring her partner, after all.</p><p>She had sent her 76 messages. 77. 78. 79.</p><p> </p><p>|<em>I dont know if you want to talk to me right now but I wanted to tell you that Chloe tried to claim she were your best friend in front of a crowd and Rose<br/></em><em>|</em><em>Yes, </em><em>sweet kind </em><em>rose<br/></em><em>|</em><em>Just wnet there<br/>|Full aggro mode<br/>|And b</em><em>asically slammed </em><em>that</em><em> girls mouth shut.</em></p><p> </p><p>The corners of Marinette’s mouth twitched. That must have been hilarious.</p><p> </p><p><em>|In. Front. Of. Everyone.<br/></em> <em>|</em> <em>Girl, I tell you it was amazing Chloés still mad about it and is all huffy and puffy in the front seat.</em></p><p> </p><p>This time, Marinette snorted before wiping her face with her sleeve, because her eyes were tearing up once again. She should have <em>been there</em> instead of hearing it second-hand from her friends. They were going through just as much as she was. They were being accosted on her behalf, all just because she hadn’t showed her face yesterday.</p><p>Would the news be talking about it? She didn’t know.</p><p>Tikki didn’t let Marinette check the news.</p><p>“It’s not good for you!”, she had told her, claiming that any wild theories would only sour her mood and make her more prone to akumatization.</p><p>Ping. A new message had been sent.</p><p>
  <em>|I just saw you read my messages</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Shit.</p><p> </p><p>Marinette eyes widened when she read the latest text Alya had sent her, that message. She had forgotten to change her settings and now everyone could <em>see </em>that she had read their messages. Shit, shit, shit. Now she <em>had </em>to answer otherwise Alya would now she wasn’t just not looking at her phone but <em>really</em> ignoring her and she would get super-duper mad and…</p><p> </p><p><em>|I know youre probably completely losing it right now because you didnt want me to know that </em> <em>youre reading this rn</em> <em><br/></em> <em>|</em> <em>You dont have to text me back<br/></em> <em>|</em> <em>Im </em> <em>just </em> <em>glad you read my messages at all </em> <em>I was kinda scared youd ignore me</em></p><p> </p><p>Marinette bit her lips, averting her eyes for a few seconds. She hadn’t want Alya to think that. Not at all.</p><p> </p><p><em>|For all its worth, I’m sorry. I dont know if you read all the messages I left you </em> <em>before</em> <em><br/></em> <em>|</em> <em>I</em> <em> real am though<br/></em> <em>|</em> <em>R</em> <em>eally*<br/></em> <em>|</em> <em>the first fifty message are just apologies because your my bestie and didnt deserve that<br/></em> <em>|well, noone does but especially not you</em> <em><br/></em> <em>|</em> <em>the others are just stuff that happened at school and pictures of my notes<br/></em> <em>|</em> <em>and Adriens, hes better at physics</em></p><p> </p><p>Marinette smiled at that. It reminded her off that time she and Chat had gone on patrol and Chat had brought his physics homework along.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>I don’t want to go home after patrol and though I might do it out here. I mean, who else </em><em>can</em><em> claim </em><em>they</em><em> learn</em><em>ed</em><em> for their next test on </em>top <em>of the Eifeltower?”</em></p><p> </p><p>Marinette had left him there and then she had returned, bringing her own homework and Chat had explained the conservation of momentum to her. She had joked that he should become a teacher because he was really good at it and Chat had looked away, wistfully, saying that he wouldn’t mind.</p><p> </p><p><em>|Also thank you<br/>|For letting me be Rena Rouge<br/>|Also for saving the city all the time, but thats obvious<br/>|I just wanted to say thank you for trusting. I know I was still trying to find out your identity back then and you still believed in me<br/></em> <em>|I know I failed you and I know I cant be Rens rouge anymore but I hope you can still trust me.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em>|It’s ok, Alya. I still trust you. Don’t worry.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Marinette’s fingers where shaking when she had sent the message and they were shaking still when she dropped her phone again, settling her head on her knees and waiting for a response.</p><p>She didn't get one immediately. She watched a minute tick by and then a second and then she got worried. Was Alya mad at her? Did she expect Marinette to write more, had she maybe just been caught in the middle of class, texting her had, she…</p><p>Alya called. And hang up again herself. And then, Marinette’s phone started beeping like crazy.</p><p> </p><p>|O<em>mg girl, I just broke down crying in the middle of the class and Miss mendeleiv didnt even get mad or anything but instead let me go outside<br/>|Gosh, marinette, im so glad you texted back you hav eno idea how happy that makes me<br/>|Are you ok? The news is wild rn most of them saying you got akumatized or kidnapped and shit like that but I told them all to shut up<br/>|On my blog of course<br/>|And to the jerks that are waiting in front of our school<br/>|Anyway, I told them youre not kidnapped or akumatized or noth because youre marinette dupain cheng and marinette dupain cheng is way too badass to let herself get akumatized or kidnapped</em></p><p> </p><p>Marinette let out a sob at that, because of <em>course</em> Alya would say that. Her eyes shone with warmth and a smile played around her lips, but it didn’t last. It didn’t last at all.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>|But are you ok, girl? Are you mad?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Marinette didn’t know how to answer that. Because she <em>was</em> mad. But Alya didn’t deserve that and she didn’t want her to feel guilty <strike>even if a part of her did.</strike> Maybe she could lie? Make up an excuse? Maybe she could...</p><p>Marinette glanced at Tikki who was reading along. Let out a sigh. Glanced back at her phone.</p><p>She needed to be honest. Alya deserved her honesty.</p><p> </p><p>|<em>I’</em><em>m mad but I know it wasn’t your fault<br/>|</em><em>I’</em><em>m just working through some things at the moment </em></p><p> </p><p>She knew she wasn’t mad at Alya. She really wasn’t. Deep down she knew it wasn’t her best friend’s fault and she wouldn’t blame her but that didn’t reflect what she was feeling now and Alya would know she was lying anyway.</p><p>“It was the right thing to do”, cheeped Tikki, looking at her wielder proudly, Marinette smiled back.</p><p> </p><p><em>|Im sorry. Really am.<br/></em> <em>|And, h</em> <em>ey, for all that’s worth, Adrien seems to be really worried about you ;)</em></p><p> </p><p>Marinette stared at the message for some time, before shaking her head.</p><p> </p><p><em>|He’s my friend<br/></em> <em>|O</em> <em>f course he’s worried</em></p><p> </p><p>. O .</p><p> </p><p>The next person on Marinette’s list to answer was Adrien, simply because he was the second to last person who had messaged her. The message had been from this morning and been fairly simple:</p><p> </p><p>|<em>Good morning, Marinette! I hope you feel better today and had a good night’s rest!</em></p><p> </p><p>She didn't bother to read the messages he had sent before. There were a total of ten (should she-should she feel disappointed?) and most of them were comforting messages without much to them. They were friends, of course, and she would count him among her <em>best </em>friends, but talking could still be awkward sometimes. Nino had told her Adrien still wasn’t sure on how to act around other people sometimes and had difficulties expressing himself the way he wanted to. And it wasn’t like she herself was making it any easier for him.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>He doesn’t want to disappoint people. He has this image to live up to and it’s hard to let go off it whenever he’s supposed to be “Adrien Agreste”.”</em></p><p> </p><p>Marinette had understood, of course, and was simply happy she let her see the “real” him from time to time – the way he laughed sometimes or when he punned or made dumb jokes or when he was moping for days because of something someone had said to him.</p><p>She didn’t mind. She was just happy he saw her as friend <strike>even if she wanted more.</strike></p><p> </p><p>|<em>Good morning </em><em>A</em><em>drien. And thank you for being there. It mean</em><em>s</em><em> a lot to me</em></p><p> </p><p>He didn't answer directly and Marinette didn’t mind because he was probably busy.</p><p> </p><p>. O .</p><p> </p><p>She looked at Nino’s messages. At Rose’s, Mylene’s,</p><p> </p><p>. O .</p><p> </p><p>Luka’s message made her heart flutter and her cheeks blush and it reminded her of when he had confessed his love to her, during and <em>after </em>he had been akumatized. And just like back then it pulled at her heartstrings and made her want to squeal like the 14-year old highschool student she deserved to be.</p><p> </p><p><em>|Marinette. When I first saw you, I could hear your melody as clearly as no one else’s. It was sweet and soft and had this air of mystery – I </em> <em>have</em> <em> never heard anything quite as beautiful. I love that you keep giving me reasons to try and listen to that melody more closely, because there are still so many notes and parts that I have missed – </em> <em>and</em> <em> I’m glad for every part you let me hear.<br/></em> <em>|</em> <em>I know you</em> <em>r</em> <em> melody is thrown off </em> <em>at the moment</em> <em>, because I can hear it all across Paris, but even now it sounds as clear as the ocean’s waves or a bird’s song.<br/></em> <em>|</em> <em>It sounds beautiful, Marinette. Just let me listen once you’re ready to let the world know. </em> <em>I’ll always be there for you.</em></p><p> </p><p>Marinette hugged herself and bit her lip, smiling from one corner of her mouth to the other.</p><p> </p><p>. O .</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>|Marinette. I’m Kagami. My deepest condolences for what happened. If you need someone to talk to, I am sure my mother will give me some time off. Or I can sneak out.”</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Marinette smiled when she read the first of Kagami’s messages. It sounded robotic and not heartfelt at all, but to Marinette it was because she knew that sneaking out wasn’t something Kagami offered easily – she was ready to go against her mother’s wishes and she was ready to simply listen to Marinette cry. Something that Kagami didn't do because it was pointless – crying didn’t make the situation better after all.</p><p>Marinette knew that it was heartfelt because Kagami had sent her a text in the first place and she would be eternally thankful for it.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>|Will our meeting over juice still be taking place? I understand if you were to cancel.”</em>
</p><p> </p><p>It was the second message Kagami had sent, only one of two, and Marinette smiled again.</p><p>Kagami hadn’t waited for her to text back first. She must have been worried. Without hesitating (Kagami would have been <em>so </em>proud), Marinette texted back.</p><p> </p><p>|<em>Maybe not this week? But I still want to go on our juice outings.<br/></em><em>|</em><em>Can I let you know on short notice? I know you have a busy schedule.</em></p><p> </p><p>She didn't have to wait on an answer for long.</p><p> </p><p><em>|My mother said you are a good influence and that she will make space in my schedule to meet you. I am glad she lets me go. </em> <em>Furthermore, I want to</em> <em> thank you for entrusting me with the “Dragon Miraculous”. I may not be able to be “Ryuko” any longer, but serving with Longg was an honor unrivaled by any of my ancestor’s earnings. I know we were not friends when you allowed me to transform into a better version of myself and I will forever be in your debt for believing in me, even when we were still nothing but mere rivals.</em></p><p> </p><p>Marinette smiled softly once more.</p><p> </p><p><em>|I’m glad you’re mother is making space for me. And don’t worry. You were a great Ryuko and </em> <em>will</em> <em> a</em> <em>lways be a</em> <em> hero, even without a Miraculous.</em></p><p> </p><p>. O .</p><p> </p><p>|<em>Hey, Mari, sorry for not texting you back earlier. I had fencing and you know how Mr. D’Argencourt can be.</em></p><p> </p><p>She knew indeed. And she wasn’t mad at him because she knew, probably better than himself, how hectic his schedule could be.</p><p> </p><p><em>|I know you’re busy. I wasn’t surprised<br/></em> <em>|N</em> <em>ot that </em> <em>I’m</em> <em> saying </em> <em>you're</em> <em> unreliable or a bad friend or anything! </em> <em>You’re</em> <em> a great friend and </em> <em>I’m</em> <em> really, really glad were friend</em> <em>s</em> <em>!<br/></em> <em>|But you have a busy schedule, you </em> <em>should have</em> <em> fencing right now after all<br/></em> <em>|</em> <em>I think. Not that I would know for sure. Because that’d be crazy and stuff<br/></em> <em>|</em> <em>Anyway, what I was saying </em> <em>is that I’m not mad or anything<br/>|I couldn’t be mad at you for anything!<br/>|Because you’re our residential sunshine child of course! Not because of anything else, obv.<br/>|Also, you’re way too nice to just ignore me!<br/>|And others too!<br/></em> <em>|</em> <em>Others too, of course!</em></p><p> </p><p>And then Marinette glanced at Tikki and Tikki shot her a look telling her she had to calm down and Marinette tried.</p><p>And failed, so she closed WhatsApp and buried herself in her blanket ford, silently waiting for an answer.</p><p>She didn’t get one immediately.</p><p>Disappointed, Marinette bit her lip. She had overreacted, had fallen back into old habits and had successfully driven him off. She was a human disaster. Discarding her phone, Marinette hugged her knees, ignoring her Kwami’s worried glances.</p><p>Maybe Adrien and her just weren’t meant to be. He had Kagami after all and she had Luka and honestly, could she truly be in love with a boy who she felt so nervous around she could hardly form a sentence?</p><p>It was Tikki who picked up her phone when it chimed, signaling another message had arrived and it was Tikki who forced her to read it.</p><p>“You started this conversation, Marinette! Don’t just leave him hanging!”</p><p>And when Marinette read the message, she blushed.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>|I can hear your stutter from your messages alone, Marinette.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Marinette blushed harder and then she giggled. Then she texted back:</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>|Marinette Dupain-Cheng: the only girl that can stutter in a text message</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Marinette smiled to herself thinking back to that one time she had stolen Adrian's phone to erase that one text message. Ladybug, the phone thief. And, <em>oh god</em>, Alya had seen it! Had helped her!</p><p>Marinette tried to shake off the memory and turned her attention back to her phone, still smiling because somehow, it was just so easy to talk to Adrien – now that she had finally gotten rid of her horrible stutter (most of the time – she still tended to relapse sometimes).</p><p>But when she read his next message, she didn’t stammer or blush or mix up her words. Instead, she froze.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>|To be honest, I always found your stutter cute<br/>|I just wonder where it went…? =p</em>
</p><p> </p><p>At first Marinette was confused and then she couldn’t help but wonder:<em>”Is he flirting with me?”</em></p><p>No. There was no way he was flirting with her. This was just Adrien being Adrien and being a bit awkward.</p><p> </p><p><em>|Liar. It wasn’t cute at all. It was super embarrassing and I felt like a fool after every conversation we held<br/></em> <em>|</em> <em>“Conversation”</em></p><p> </p><p>She smiled. That was a good answer, right? Right?</p><p>It seemed to be.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>|It wasn’t that bad. You used to get this cute blush and you’re eyes would grow super wide and I could always get a better look at them.<br/>|You have really beautiful eyes, did you know that, Mari?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>As if she had been burned, Marinette dropped the phone in her hand immediately, unable to fully process what was happening.</p><p>He was flirting with her. Adrien was most definitely flirting with her.</p><p>The thought left a bitter taste in her mouth, but she blushed anyway.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>|Thanks?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>|No problem =) But I have to get back to fencing now – if there’s anything I can help you with, please let me know!</em>
</p><p> </p><p>And then he was gone and their conversation had ended as abruptly as it had started. And this time, Marinette did squeal, even if she felt bad about it.</p><p>And even if she still couldn’t get rid of the bitter taste in her mouth.</p><p> </p><p>. O .</p><p> </p><p>She checked her chat with Alix, Kim, Max, Jagged Stone, Penny Rolling.</p><p>She grew tired of the constant “I’m sorry”s and “If I can help you”s, but she couldn’t be mad either because what else were they supposed to say?</p><p> </p><p>. O .</p><p> </p><p>The last message she checked belonged to an unknown number.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>|Marinette Dupain-Cheng, it’s Chloé Bourgeois.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Marinette frowned when she read the message. There wasn’t anything else and she didn’t understand what Chloé wanted. But she hadn’t insulted her yet and Marinette was sick of comforting words. Her friends were sweet, but she wanted a normal conversation right now. And Chloé – who knew what she might want.</p><p> </p><p><em>|</em> <em>Shoot.</em></p><p> </p><p>Marinette’s message was short and simple and (hopefully) let Chloé know she was still mad at her – she had betrayed her trust for Hawkmoth and she’d never be able to forgive Queen Bee for that.</p><p>But maybe that wasn’t the important part.</p><p> </p><p><em>|I want you to know that our class is inept when it comes to listening – I did not claim to be your friend </em> <em>at all</em> <em>, I simply claimed I would try my best to be a friend to you. </em> <em>And i</em> <em>t is ridiculous that Sabrina is expecting me to apologize to you for my supposed bullying – as if telling the truth is bullying, ridiculous, utterly ridiculous! - but she is helpful, sometimes, so I will, for once, do as she tells me.<br/></em> <em>|</em> <em>I apologize for occasionally making fun of you, Dupain-Cheng. </em></p><p> </p><p>Marinette blinked at the message she had received. It sounded like Chloé, but somehow she had expected more. She waited a few minutes but Chloé didn’t text anything else and Marinette definitely had other things to do than to wait for a message by a girl she didn’t even like.</p><p>So she pushed her phone away and tried to concentrate on the design in front of her. She had had an idea, but Tikki hadn’t allowed her to design anything black or gray and now she was all out of options.</p><p>She wondered whether she could get away with black if she said it was Chat Noir themed.</p><p>Marinette’s phone dinged, startling her and she glanced at it, frowning when she saw another message from Chloé.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>|I wanted to apologize to Ladybug too.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Marinette sat up straighter at those words. Would she beg her to give her her Miraculous back?</p><p> </p><p><em>|I know you can’t give me back my Miraculous, after all my identity has been revealed to Hawkmoth.<br/></em> <em>|</em> <em>And I sided with him because of a lapse of judgment, but, </em> <em>like,</em> <em> whatever<br/></em> <em>|</em> <em>That comb looked terrible anyway</em></p><p> </p><p>Another silence. This time, Marinette waited patiently. Whatever this was – it was more than she would have expected from Chloé and she wouldn’t destroy whatever this was by not letting Chloé say her piece.</p><p> </p><p>|<em>I messed up and I truly do feel sorry<br/></em><em>|I want to apologize to you – maybe I can buy you some decent clothes – and I hope you can forgive me<br/></em><em>|And – please talk to Pollen for me? I never got the chance to apologize to her and I terribly miss her I hope she can forgive me too.</em></p><p> </p><p>Marinette waited another five minutes in case Chloé wanted to say anything else.</p><p>She didn’t.</p><p>And Marinette chucked her phone away because she didn’t know what to say. Chloé – Chloé had been nice. In Chloé-terms, she had been incredibly nice.</p><p>But that didn’t mean Marinette was ready to forgive her. It didn’t meant Marinette would try her everything to become Chloé’s friend. And she decided to tell Chloé as much.</p><p> </p><p><em>|Thank you for your message Chloé. It means a lot to me that you apologized, but I can’t forgive you yet</em><br/><em>|You didn’t just side with Hawkmoth, you revealed the identities of our team and we still haven’t recovered from that blow. Especially now that Hawkmoth can transform into Shadow Moth.<br/></em> <em>|But I’m not Pollen and maybe she should speak for herself</em></p><p> </p><p>And then Marinette removed the Bee Miraculous from the Miraculous Box and called for Pollen. Pollen had a right to speak for herself after all and whatever bond she had had with Chloé must have been <em>something</em> because the Bee Kwami was still devastated, even a month after the incident.</p><p> </p><p>And Pollen spoke.</p><p> </p><p>--Chloé, my queen. I-I’m upset. I know you had your reasons, but I felt betrayed when you helped Hawkmoth. But you are my – former – wielder and you are my friend, even after what you have done. I know every queen’s weakness is her pride and I’m glad you have overcome it by apologizing. And while the guardian may not forgive you yet – I do. I know you won’t ever be my wielder again, but thank you. For your apology. It means a lot to me.--</p><hr/><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Please leave a comment if you enjoyed ^^</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>"Why-Why do I feel so-so empty whenever I look at this rose, Tikki?"</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Before we start, I wanted to thank all who left a Kudos and/or comment! I'm glad you all like this story!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>oOoOo<br/>.</p>
<p>Forget me not (because I will)</p>
<p>.</p>
<p>oOo</p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Chat came over every day for the next week. Maybe to make sure Hawkmoth didn’t try anything. Maybe just to keep her company. Maybe to escape his own home life, which had never been the best.</p>
<p>But it didn’t matter why. Because whenever Marinette heard his telltale footsteps on her balcony she felt herself grin. Whenever she heard a “thump” lading on the roof, she lit up and scrambled to open her trapdoor, just so he didn’t have to wait for her to come up.</p>
<p>She was starting to feel alone nonetheless. Chat had always been a busy cat and as much as he visited, he was gone for far longer. She had wanted to go back to school already – transform, swing over and take a back door. Maybe use the Miraculous of the Horse even – she knew she shouldn’t, as one should never use a Miraculous selfishly, but, maybe, this time it would be ok?</p>
<p>It didn’t matter. She might have been feeling better – a farcry from the way she had felt the first day after the reveal – but her dreams were still occasionally haunted by nightmares (according to Chat, but Tikki had confirmed his claim).</p>
<p>And Marinette’s parents knew.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“<em>Maybe it’s better if you stay at home for the rest of week? School may just stress you out and, you know...Madame Bustier told us about what happened before she got transformed into “Zombiezou”.”</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>And that had been it. She wasn’t confined to her room, but Marinette didn’t want to visit the bakery yet, which was still overflowing with overzealous fans and newsthisrty reporters.</p>
<p>She had yet to open her Instagram account.</p>
<p>Maybe her parents weren’t wrong with keeping her home.</p>
<p>But Marinette did get bored easily and it made her head spin in circles. She was playing calming music all day long, trying to prevent herself from working herself into a frenzy – lest an Akuma found her.</p>
<p>After two days Tikki finally let her watch the news.</p>
<p>When Chat visited that evening, he found her curled up into a shaking ball, her eyes red and swollen and unable to utter a coherent sentence.</p>
<p>He had stayed over that night too and the next one. And he had every right to do so.</p>
<p>(And Tikki hadn’t allowed her to watch the news the next day.)</p>
<p>It was on day three, when Chat visited her at night, that he turned to her, a Cheshire grin plastered across his face and he said:”I found the perfect nickname for you, Marinette!”</p>
<p>“The perfect nickname?”</p>
<p>A smile played around her lips and her eyes were shining with barely concealed adoration.</p>
<p>Nightmares didn’t matte rif her partner would just keeping showing the way.</p>
<p>“No. The <em>purrfect </em>nickname. And yes! There’s “Milady” and “Lb” and “Bugaboo” for Ladybug and “Princess” for Marinette and now that you two are the same person, I need a new name for you!”</p>
<p>She frowned, her smile turning lop-sided as she took in his childish excitement, feeling it bubble up in her own stomach already.</p>
<p>Someone had tried to sneak into the apartment over the bakery today.</p>
<p>Marinette had almost opened the trapdoor when someone had knocked, believing it to be her mother (<em>she should have known from the steps, should have known and guessed but she </em>hadn’t. Paid. Attention.)</p>
<p>“You do? Really?”</p>
<p>He really didn’t need a new nickname for her – he had enough of those already.</p>
<p>“Yes! And I found the best kitting name just for you!”</p>
<p>Marinette raised one of her eyebrows, watching his tails excitedly curl around him, occasionally catching her wrists before letting go again.</p>
<p>It was kind of cute.</p>
<p>“<em>Maribug</em>!”</p>
<p>That nickname...not so much.</p>
<p>“No. Absolutely not. You will <em>not </em>call me “Maribug”!”</p>
<p>“Alright”, he said, shrugging and she knew from his smirk that she had just walked straight into his trap.</p>
<p>“Then it’s going to be the other name I came up with.” “Chat...” “Buginette! I already used that one before and I realized it fits you <em>purr</em>fectly! “No. Just no.” “It’s the perfect mix between “Marinette” and "Ladybug”! And it sounds <em>just like you!</em>”</p>
<p>He smiled at her like that cat that got the cream and she grinned. Maybe she could play along, she supposed. Just for now. It wasn’t like he was going to use that name all that often after all.</p>
<p>“Oh, and why does the “Ladybug” part come first? Is that part more important that the “Marinette” part then?”, she teased and smirked but Chat Noir didn’t seem to get the joke. His eyes widened in unspoken panic and he stepped back, defensively raising his hands in front of him.</p>
<p>“What! N-N-No! Absolutely not! I just – Hey! You’re laughing, <em>why are you laughing</em>!”, he screeched indignantly once he noticed Marinette doubling over and clutching the railing for support.</p>
<p>“You-You should have...Ha, I didn’t-Did you really think I would care? Ha, ha, that's just-Chat, no!”</p>
<p>She was gripped by another bout of laughter. Chat crossed his arms indignantly and threw his head around, pouting adorably.</p>
<p>“You're not nice to me”, he huffed and Marinette, still grinning, agreed:“No, I’m not.”</p>
<p>“You’re making fun of my amazing nicknames.” “I’m sorry Chat. I’m sorry for making fun of your...” Marinette was tempted to pun right there, but she feared it may go to Chat’s head. “...amazing nicknames.” “And after I came all the way over here, just for you too!”</p>
<p>That sobered her up instantly. She stood up straighter, her eyes losing their mirth to take on a softer expression.</p>
<p>“I-I really am glad you came over, Chat. I’m glad I got to see you today.”</p>
<p>Her words painted his cheeks in a rosy tint and he turned his head, his smile vanished from his lips, but not yet from his eyes.</p>
<p>“I’m glad I came over too, Marinette.”</p>
<p>They both stood in silence for a few moment, before Chat nudged her carefully and asked:”Did you talk to your friends today?”</p>
<p>“I...texted with Alya. And Nino. But I didn’t call them, I just...I don’t think I can do that yet.”</p>
<p>“That’s fine, princess. Take your time...But did you really talk to only your Kwami today?”</p>
<p>“Other than my parents? No.”</p>
<p>For some reason, her words put the Cheshire-grin he was so well-known for back on his face and he leaned closer to conspiratorially whisper:“So, I’m special, <em>Buginette</em>?”</p>
<p>Marinette decided to ignore the shameless use of that shameful nickname for now.</p>
<p>“Of course you’re special, Chat. You’re my partner after all.”</p>
<p>Then she pulled him into a hug – completely missing the blush that was spreading across his cheeks, before he hesitantly hugged her back.</p>
<p>Partners. He was her partner. That thought made him smile.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>. O .</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Chat-Chat, wake up!”, a high-pitch voice hissed and for a moment Adrien thought Marinette had waken up and was going to kick them out, but then he noticed a red, flying bug in front of him and realized his secret dream – of her waking up and “accidentally” seeing him – hadn't miraculously come true.</p>
<p>He was still met with panicked blue eyes though. But that wasn’t the most distracting as the sounds of distress Marinette was making.</p>
<p>She was crying. She was crying in her sleep.</p>
<p>He didn’t like it one bit.</p>
<p>“Should-Should I wake her? But she needs to rest and she needs to...”</p>
<p>“No, Chat, you don't understand!”, the red Kwami hissed and he had never seen her quite so distressed.</p>
<p>“I-I can sense <em>it</em>!”</p>
<p>“It?”</p>
<p>“An Aku-AKUMA!”</p>
<p>And then Chat saw it. And what and an eerie sight it was – one he had been privy to once too often already. There, a small butterfly squeezed itself through the skylight, first its dark head like dripping, black water and then its purple wings fluttering softly.</p>
<p>It looked so...so calm.</p>
<p>Marinette was clutching his arm now and he had difficulties getting up. If she woke up, she’d notice the Akuma and he didn’t want to scare her like that. So he carefully removed his arm from her (blushing when he noticed how she was trying to latch onto him once more), before calling for Plagg, his eyes never leaving the Akuma.</p>
<p>Instinctively, he tugged Marinette closer, as he watched in grueling fascination as the insect shook itself, before softly flying closer, not a sound being made as its wings fluttered and flattered.</p>
<p>He had never seen them like this before. Usually they tried to scramble away after each fight, their wings heavy and exhausted as they tried to run from his lady’s cleansing powers. They looked distressed and scared but now – none of that was to be seen.</p>
<p>It was Plagg who snapped him out of his trance by biting him and Adrien would have gotten mad and reproached him had he not realized the danger they were in.</p>
<p>His transformation was called for easily and for once he skipped his transformation dance, merely focusing on willing it over him as fast as possible.</p>
<p>If he had had any time to spare, he would have noticed his suit lacked any of the usual playfulness.</p>
<p>He called for his Cataclysm and not a second later, the Akuma crumbled in his hands, its wings turning to nothing but dust.</p>
<p>Tikki had told him he could do this.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“<em>It’s meant as prevention – without the butterfly, you can’t undo the damage, but you can keep them from happening.”<br/></em></p>
<p>It had been a relief knowing that and as Chat watched the butterfly dust be swept away by a soft breeze, he smiled, satisfied.</p>
<p>Marinette hadn’t even woken up. He’d for always be her knight in shining leather.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>. O .</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They were sitting in her room today. It was raining outside – a storm that had emptied even the bakery for most of the day – yet Chat had still come over to visit her.</p>
<p>He hated rain.</p>
<p>He was currently sitting on Marinette’s chaise, sipping away at some hot chocolate she had whipped up, covered by three different towels and two additional blankets as Marinette was fussing over him.</p>
<p>“You stupid cat! I would have been fine for tonight, what if you get sick? Huh? What-What if you get a cold and then you’ll be ill at school or work and then someone will pick up that you're sick at the same time that Chat Noir is and then-What if they leak your identity to the world, too, and then you’d be in this...”</p>
<p>Marinette was gesturing wildly in front of him and Chat wasn't sure whether he should a) be worried b) be impressed by the speed at which she was talking c) be amused by her antics or d) be touched by her concern.</p>
<p>He decided it didn’t matter and instead set his cup aside, to take her hands into his.</p>
<p>“Marinette. I’ll be fine”, he said, trying to catch her eyes, yet failed to do so.</p>
<p>It looked as if she were blushing.</p>
<p>Chat averted his eyes, because they had no time for any of his wishful thinking.</p>
<p>“You don’t know whether you’ll be fine or not!”, Marinette protested but all he did was laugh at that -</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>(and all of the towels and blankets shook as he did and it almost gave her butterflies).</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Aww, bugaboo, don’t worry! How could I be sick if I have a magical girl fuzzing all over me?”</p>
<p>And he laughter even harder because it was <em>her </em>who had brought up their similarities to Sailor Moon and he had been so happy because he had been the one to tell her to watch it and she always acted as if she’d never do that-</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strike>
    <em>and it felt nice knowing Ladybug had always cared just a bit more for him than she had let shine through her professional demeanor.</em>
  </strike>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>His laughter made Marinette pout. It looked adorable and when his <em>purrincess</em> looked up and noticed his grin, she pouted even more, just to let out a huff next.</p>
<p>“You’re a jerk.”</p>
<p>“You’re my best friend too, Mari.”</p>
<p>Marinette let herself fall onto the chaise next to him and tugged at his outermost layer, silently demanding for him to share his blanket (which was technically speaking hers) and to share his warmth as well.</p>
<p>She had become quite cuddly these past few days and Chat couldn't say he minded. He had always been touch-starved anway.</p>
<p>They sat in silence for some time, listening to the rain’s steady pittle-pattle against the skylight. Chat finished his chocolate and Marinette snuggled closer, letting her eyes fall shut, humming int contentment.</p>
<p>This was nice. This was something she could get used to. She felt warm and safe and just – she didn’t know.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strike>
    <em>And maybe she didn’t want to know either, because she had had a suspicion that she did not want to be true.</em>
  </strike>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She had to break the silence. It was bad enough that he stayed all night, to keep her safe from nightmares. If she learned he had carried her to her bed as well (and that stupid cat would do that, no doubt) her heart would not survive it.</p>
<p>She had to break the silence.</p>
<p>“Why did you come over today, kitty?”</p>
<p>“Hm?”</p>
<p>“Why did you come over today?”</p>
<p>Chat turned, to look at her more easily, but Marinette’s head was almost completely buried under the blanket and he could only make out a speck of black hair peeking out from underneath it.</p>
<p>“Why wouldn’t I?”</p>
<p>“It’s raining.”</p>
<p>“Well, I’d be a pretty terrible partner if I hadn’t come because of a little rain.”</p>
<p>At once, Marinette started moving and now her eyes were visible (and Chat <em>knew</em> she was pouting again).</p>
<p>“You’re not a terrible partner.”</p>
<p>“I know. But if I...”</p>
<p>“You could have called instead.”</p>
<p>Chat had gotten himself a burner phone a few days and had somehow managed to get his hands on her number.</p>
<p>She blamed Tikki for the barrage of Cat memes and puns that she exposed to on a daily basis now.</p>
<p>“Being here is a nice for me as it is for you”, Chat responded and Marinette didn’t know how to respond. He was smiling at her again with that smile that could make the world burst into flames and Marinette was smiling back (he only knew because it reached her eyes and it made his heart beat faster because all he had ever wanted was for her to smile) and he almost chuckled because – he didn’t know why.</p>
<p>And then he stopped wanting to chuckle, because she asked:”You know you can be honest with me, right, Chat?”</p>
<p>He didn’t answer.</p>
<p>“You came here to say something, didn't you?”</p>
<p>Of course he had. He had come here once before already, for the very same reason and he had come again-</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strike>
    <em>and he’d come over and over and over again, even if she’d break his heart every single time with guilty eyes and a silent “I’m so sorry”.</em>
  </strike>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I would have come over anyway”, he whispered and Marinette sat up now, shaking the blanket from her shoulders.</p>
<p>It hit the floor and she shivered but she didn’t care, because her partner was hurting and she didn’t want him to hurt.</p>
<p>“I know, Chat. I’d never doubt you.”</p>
<p>Marinette waited expectantly for his response, eyes shining with warmth and understanding and Chat Noir lipped his lips, his throat feeling dry all of sudden.</p>
<p>Then his shoulders slumped.</p>
<p>“It doesn’t matter. You’re going to say “No” anyway."</p>
<p>He turned his head away and Marinette wished she could pretend she hadn’t noticed the bitterness in his eyes.</p>
<p>She couldn’t, so she turned her head away, too, her eyes fixed to her bed’s frame.</p>
<p>“Oh”, she whispered. She wished she could ignore the pain she had seen in his eyes. Wished she could tell him ti would be alright, that she’d done anything he’d ask – but they had talked about it and she couldn’t risk his identity.</p>
<p>She’d be an even worse partner if she did.</p>
<p>“You know, Chat, if it had only been you...”</p>
<p>“I know. But now everyone knows who you are and you can’t telling Hawkmoth my name. I know.”<br/><br/></p>
<p>
  <strike>
    <em>The “It doesn’t make it feel any less painful though” was added silently, even though Marinette didn’t want him to feel that way and Marinette knew he was silently whispering those words to whatever soul was willing to listen and she did, although Chat had never meant for her to hear these words.</em>
  </strike>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>. O .</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was Sunday when Marinette felt like she had to – had to do something. So she snuck into the kitchen that afternoon, using “Voyage” to get there undetected and started baking. Her father smiled softly at her when he spotted her and when he asked “What’s the occasion” she simply responded with “Chat”.</p>
<p>She had to thank him somehow. Things were looking up. Things were going to be <em>fine</em>. <em>Because o</em><em>f</em><em> him</em>. Because he was there, he understood her pain, listened to her even after all the pain she was putting him through.</p>
<p>That evening she surprised him with a small picnic on her rood, with plush blankets and plenty of chocolate croissants she knew he loved so dearly</p>
<p>"Wha-What’s this, Marinette?”, he asked, frozen in place and a faint blush on his cheeks but Marinette didn’t notice because she was too busy putting the flowers she had plucked (people brought her flowers, <em>so many flowers</em> and if they were meant as a gift for her work as a super hero, Chat deserved them just as much as she did).</p>
<p>“It’s a “Thank you”!”, she exclaimed, looking up at him, excitement lighting up her expression. But then she did notice and wondered whether she maybe shouldn’t have brought the flowers.</p>
<p>“A “Thank you”?”</p>
<p>Chat tilted his head tot he side as he hopped down from the handrail and walked closer, his tail swishing behind hi, curiously touching anything getting close enough to it.</p>
<p>“Y-Yes. Because you’ve been nothing but helpful this past week and you were always there for me – I know about the one Akuma you had to cataclysm! - and...”</p>
<p>Chat had the sense to look guilty when she told him that tidbit of information he hadn’t seen as important enough to share with her, but Marinette didn’t dwell on it – she knew why he had done it and even if his attempt at protecting her might have been misguided, she still cherished them.</p>
<p>“...and I just-I wanted to let you know that I appreciate you. I always feel like I don’t tell you that often enough and this whole...thing must be as hard on you as it is on me. So, I thought, maybe you’d want to have a picnic? I baked all the pastries and, yeah. A “Thank you”. That’s what it is.”</p>
<p>Chat smiled sweetly at her, but she could see the disappointment in his eyes and Marinette <em>hated </em>it, because, of course, she had thought about romantic picnics with Chat before – but there had always been conditions attached to it. What if Adrien wasn’t there, what if she had fallen for Chat first, what if <em>“Chat Blanc” </em>hadn’t happened.</p>
<p>She wasn’t going to lead him on.</p>
<p>But Chat didn’t seem to mind. Because Chat was her friend first and he smiled at her warmly and said:”I’m glad you’re letting me help you, Buginette.”</p>
<p>Marinette grimaced at the nickname – but not for long.</p>
<p>“Because I was afraid, you wouldn’t let me.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>. O .</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Marinette smiled when she could hear the tell-tale taps of feet above her. Cat must have been in a great mood to show up this early – it was earlier than his usual time.</p>
<p>She was glad he had come though. Marinette had tried to go downstairs but the people there had been too much and she had fled back into her room, hoping her parents hadn’t noticed.</p>
<p>She wanted to go back to school again. She knew she wasn’t ready yet, <em>knew</em> she was most likely going to end up cowering in the locker room, shutting everyone out who wasn’t Chat (and <em>maybe </em>Alya) – but she wanted to get out nonetheless.</p>
<p>And she was planning to get her partner to vouch for her.</p>
<p>So, when Chat landed on her roof she got up immediately, throwing open the skylight an excited “Chat” waiting to escape her lips.</p>
<p>Except that the person that had landed on her rooftop wasn’t her partner at all.</p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This chapter is brought to you by “A princess doesn’t cry” which is funny, as this song (and a fanmade AMV to go with it) is what got me into the MLB fandom in the first place.</p>
<p>I want the last year of my life back.</p>
<p>I hope you enjoyed the chapter, if you do, please leave some feedback!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>And the world fell silent as the monster raged.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>oOoOo</p>
<p>.</p>
<p>Forget me not (because I will)</p>
<p>.</p>
<p>oOo</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>They knew the girl. Her name. Her family. Where she lived.</p>
<p>She’d either break now and give in to an Akuma now – or they'd get the Miraculous Box some other way.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>.o.O.o.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Despair came in many forms. But Marinette had never expected it to come from one, simple realization.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It wasn’t Chat on that rooftop.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She should have known and she should have transformed but Marinette hadn’t – instead, she had thrown open that hatch, beaming widely, a teasing “You’re early!” caught in her throat.</p>
<p>She should have known it wouldn’t be Chat. He had a life outside of the suit, there had been a reason why he had never been able to visit any earlier than dinner time.</p>
<p>It was the middle of the week, for crying out loud! He had school, homework, extracurriculars!</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She should have known it wouldn’t be Chat.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>But the hatch was thrown open and her eyes were shining with gratefulness and her lips displayed the most vibrant of smiles.</p>
<p>The “You’re early!” died on her lips the moment the Sentimonster lunged at her and all air was stolen from her lungs.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>.O.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They had waited for days – in vain. Gabriel had been so sure she’d succumb to an Akuma, had been convinced she'd have to give in, had stayed transformed for hours to wait for that one opportunity!</p>
<p>And it had shown itself again and again and again.</p>
<p>And every single time, as he waited with halted breath for the connection to be made, a few minutes after having sent out the Akuma he was met with silence.</p>
<p>No Akuma anymore.</p>
<p>They had been cataclysmed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Gabriel had been furious. He had raged and cursed Chat Noir and Ladybug and all the powers in the universe combined, but then Nathalie had reminded him of the Peacock Miracoulous he held and their one, big chance.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Chat could cataclysm only one thing at a time.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Chat could cataclysm only <em>one</em> thing at a time.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>.O.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The world was turning and tumbling as Marinette fell down the trapdoor, the Sentimonster at her throat.</p>
<p>Her eyes were widened in surprise and then due to lack of oxygen and then her voice was nothing but a scratching in her throat anymore.</p>
<p>“<em>ǤıʋƏ ɰɝ ұǫɄɍ Ɯ</em><sup><em>i</em></sup><em>ʁɅ</em><sub><em>Ɔ</em></sub><em>υ</em><em>ȴ</em><em>Ơʊƨ!</em><em>”, </em>the monster spat at her, it’s claws digging into Marinette’s skin deeper and deeper, until they drew blood.</p>
<p>Marinette didn’t fight back. Too transfixed, still, dots swarming her vision.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Air, air, air, air.</em>
</p>
<p>She desperately tried to catch her breath, but the more she tried the tighter the hold got, a cruel smile displaying glistening fangs.</p>
<p>A few seconds longer. A few terrible seconds longer and then the monster seemed to realize it’s mission once again</p>
<p>“<em>ǤıʋƏ ɰɝ ұǫɄɍ Ɯ</em><sup><em>i</em></sup><em>ʁɅ</em><sub><em>Ɔ</em></sub><em>υ</em><em>ȴ</em><em>Ơʊƨ!</em><em>”, </em>it hissed once again, its voice singing almost. Another claw came up to her ears, the monster’s eyes growing wide, as Marinette’s vision turned darker and darker and-</p>
<p>Suddenly, the hold on her was relinquished and from the corner of her eyes, she could make out a small, red flying bug? Mouse? Bugmouse?</p>
<p>Tikki.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Tikki.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“<em>Ǥǝt ɐʍaʏ ᵮ</em><em>Ɍ</em><em>Ɵ</em><em><b>Ɯ MɆ</b></em><em>!”</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>Tikki.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The Sentimonster had let go of her, furiously grabbing for the kwami buzzing around like an annoying bug – and it was enough.Enough for Marinette to stumble back, fall against the chaise and gasp for air. Enough time for the fog in her mind to lift, to realize what was happening – to take in the monster – a twisted and <em>wrong</em> version of her partner.</p>
<p>Her partner.</p>
<p>She looked up and was met with green, feral eyes and a hulking, black silhouette.</p>
<p>Perhaps she might have hesitated now, had she been anyone else, had worried whether this <em>was</em> her partner, akumatized and twisted – but she had seen him akumatized once before.</p>
<p>A white suit and a desolate wasteland.</p>
<p>This wasn’t her partner.</p>
<p>“Marinette!”, her kwami cried out, desperately trying to get out of the giant claws threatening to crush her.</p>
<p>Right.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Tikki, SPOTS ON!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And then she was out of her room, upon Parisian Rooftops, breathing fresh air once again, chest heaving.</p>
<p>Yet there was no time for reprieve – for the Sentimonster followed her and she had to get ready to fight.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>.O.<br/>.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Almost. They almost had her – she had flared up, if but for a moment – they were so close, just a little bit longer…!</p>
<p> </p>
<p>.<br/>.O.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The fight was...surprisingly easy. Ladybug could feel the claws digging into her skin still, the echoes of its distorted voice sending shivers down her back.</p>
<p>But the fight?</p>
<p>It wasn’t a fight even. More like a chase across Parisian rooftops, along the Seine and down the alleys. The Sentimonster just – it stalled. It evaded all her attacks, ran farther and farther away, but didn’t seem to be bothered with any civilians.</p>
<p>It just stalled.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>It stalled.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ladybug’s eyes shot open in realization at what she had done.</p>
<p>The Miraculous. She had left the Miraculous Box in her room.</p>
<p>Unsupervised.</p>
<p>And without another thought, Ladybug turned and fled.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>.O.<br/>.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was too easy, almost, Hawkmoth thought to himself, in his lair, an ever watchful eyes carefully watching for any emotion to be used.</p>
<p>Teenagers were so emotional after all.</p>
<p>With a maniac smile, purple magic spread from his fingers, engulfing the once pure butterfly, stripping away all of its warmth.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>.<br/>.O.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ladybug didn’t know whether she was on time or just a tad too late, but the hatch was still ripped away from its frame – and a slender woman had just wormed her way out of her room, holding onto the precious box.</p>
<p>They made eye contact. For just a second they made eye contact and it was enough for Mayura to recognize her and smirk – a disgusting, triumphant smirk that sent shivers down Ladybug’s spine.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She had failed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>A charm fell from Mayura’s wrist and she smashed the item without a second of hesitation and another shiver was sent down Ladybug’s back as she remembered Sentibug.</p>
<p>The monster was dead.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Murderer.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ladybug stood there, rooted to her spot, as the Amok fell to the floor – the broken piece of a mirror – her eyes trained on the black-spotted box in Mayura’s arms.</p>
<p>On the triumphant smirk on Mayura’s face.</p>
<p>Cold terror gripped Ladybug, threatening to rip her apart as horrid realization set in how much, <em>how much</em> she had failed and-and she had failed, she had failed, she had…</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“MARINETTE! WATCH OUT! AKUMA!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ladybug barely heard the voice over the pounding in her ears, barely saw the dark shadow through the blood in her eyes.</p>
<p>But that – that voice was Chat. And that – that fluttering was an Akuma.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>No.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mayura wasn’t even running, Ladybug noticed from the corner of her eye as she finally – finally! – allowed herself to face the magic butterfly fluttering closer and closer.</p>
<p>She didn’t need to. She tried to calm herself down, of course she did, but she was hiccuping still and her throat hurt and-and she wouldn’t be able to withstand and…</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“CATACLYSM!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The insect was engulfed by dark energy, until it was reduced to nothing but ashes – Ladybug’s eyes traveled up the hand, the arm, until reaching her partner’s face, his expression creased from worry.</p>
<p>He spotted that look too often for her liking, LAdybug decided, but…</p>
<p>“M’lady, are you ok?”</p>
<p>But this wasn’t the time.</p>
<p>Mayura was running. And Ladybug was after her already, swinging from rooftop to rooftop again, her partner closely following her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>.O.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mayura was fast. And Ladybug and Chat Noir were but teenagers. They got closer, maybe, possibly, but…</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Beep.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“We can keep going, Mari, don’t worry! We’ll catch her soon enough!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>.O.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>There was a roar not too far away.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Beep.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Beep.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>And the yet another monster was after them. This time an Akuma, Ladybug was sure of it, but there was no time to take care of it, because they <em>couldn’t let Hawkmoth have the box</em>.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>.O.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ladybug’s yo-yo caught Mayura around the ankle.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Beep.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Beep.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Beep.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was a short triumph only, for she got tackled by the Akuma and lost her grip, only for chat to jump in and get the Akuma off of her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>.O.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Beep.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>…</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Beep.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>…</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Beep.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>…</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Beep.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>With each step they took, each blow they tried to deal, Chat’s de-transformation grew closer.</p>
<p>They should have known they wouldn't catch up to the peacock on time.</p>
<p>He would have to stay back now. Ladybug would be on her own, trying to fight off to people at once, but that was ok, because it didn’t matter.</p>
<p>She didn’t care.</p>
<p>She needed to get the box and-</p>
<p>“No, wait!”</p>
<p>Her wrist was snatched but she didn’t even look back before snatching it back, her legs moving faster and faster and faster until they threatened to give out underneath her.</p>
<p>“I have to recharge, what if she attacks you, what if…!”</p>
<p>For a split second, Ladybug allowed herself to turn around.</p>
<p>“She has the box, Chat”, she whispered. God knew whether he had heard her or not.</p>
<p>“She has the box and I-I can’t let her have the box.”</p>
<p>And off she was, trying harder and harder to catch up with a bird.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>.O.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Birds were fast. Birds were fast and elegant as they reigned from the sky.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And Ladybugs were their prey.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Really, the chase had been futile from the very start. Mayura ran and ran and ran and the distance grew longer and longer until Ladybug allowed herself to call for her Lucky Charm.</p>
<p>It was a miniature black cat.</p>
<p>For all the time she had been Ladybug, Marinette had never thought luck would laugh in her face like that.</p>
<p>And now her transformation was starting to run out, too – she should have stuck to not calling for it at all, why hadn’t she stuck to not calling it at all, she had had a <em>reason</em> why she hadn’t-</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And then Mayura tripped.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Usually, I’m against clipping a bird’s wings, but purrhaps for you one should have made an egg-ception?”</p>
<p>Ladybug almost fell over from relief – when she saw Chat retract his baton with one hand and scoop up the Miraculous Box with another.</p>
<p>Her breaths were still gasps, tears were threatening to spill from her eyes still and every move she made felt like being slapped – but Mayura had tripped.</p>
<p>Had fallen.</p>
<p>She didn’t have the box anymore, <em>she didn’t have the box anymore, she didn’t have the box anymore!</em></p>
<p>She didn’t have the box anymore.</p>
<p>Ladybug fell to her knees.</p>
<p>Mayura took one look at Chat before snarling and fleeing the scene.</p>
<p>Chat gazed after her for a few moments, before shaking his head and trotting over to Marinette, sitting down next to her.</p>
<p>“It’s ok”, he whispered, stroking her hair and Ladybug was too shocked to even disagree.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>.o.O.o.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The sun was fading with the prettiest of colors when Ladybug finally came out of her stupor.</p>
<p>“She-She-She almost got the box, Chat. She-almost got the box”, she whispered, tears welling up in her eyes once more.</p>
<p>“Shush, Mari, it's going to be fine.”</p>
<p>“No! No, it’s! it’s not, she-she took the <em>box</em>! The <em>box</em>!”</p>
<p>“Yes, I know, but you defended it, didn’t you?”</p>
<p>She had. She had, but did it matter?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You-You should have cataclysmed her, Chat. Just-why didn’t you cataclysm her?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You don’t mean that, Lb, and you know that. We’re heroes. We don’t hurt people.”</p>
<p>Marinette looked up at that, eyes filled with stubbornness and Chat would have found it endearing were it not for what was happening right now.</p>
<p>Was it not for the fact that he was looking at Marinette now instead of Ladybug, something she had <em>never </em>wanted and he always had.</p>
<p>He finally knew her identity and it was the curse she had always feared it would be.</p>
<p>“She would have deserved it.”</p>
<p>Marinette was pouting now and Chat couldn’t help but smile.</p>
<p>“She would, wouldn't she?”, he chuckled and Marinette forced herself to smile – until Chat’s gaze fell, that was.</p>
<p>“But – I couldn’t have cataclysmed her even if I had wanted to. Used it on the Akuma, I, uh – I still got the butterfly on me.”</p>
<p>Marinette froze at that. Then her eyes widened in terror and she scrambled away from Chat, to his surprise and he felt as if she had pushed him away.</p>
<p>“I – oh god, Chat, I-I’m so sorry, I should have said something earlier, I should...”</p>
<p>His ears were drooping and it was making her feel all the worse.</p>
<p>“I-I’m a terrible partner! I almost lost the box and I-I let that-that <em>disgusting bug </em>stay with you without doing anything and I – I made you fight that Akuma all on your...”</p>
<p>“It’s ok”, Chat interrupted her, smiling encouragingly the way he always did and it should be enough to calm her down, but it <em>wasn’t</em>.</p>
<p>“No! No, it’s not ok! You-You’Re sacrificing so much and I always do is...”</p>
<p>Chat slid closer and put an arm on her shoulder.</p>
<p>“Mari.”</p>
<p>“I know you’re...”</p>
<p>“It’s ok, Maribug. It really is. I just – I’d really like you to cleanse the Akuma to reverse the damage that has been made.”</p>
<p>“Oh.”</p>
<p>“Yeah.”</p>
<p>“I – I guess I’ll cleanse it then?”</p>
<p>Chat silently nodded and Marinette glanced at Tikki who was nodding, too.</p>
<p>“You can transform, Marinette, I’m r...”</p>
<p>“Spots on.”</p>
<p>Usually, Marinette would have waited for Tikki to finish her sentence, but she – she was tired. So goddamn tired and she wished she hadn’t spoke to begin with.</p>
<p>She didn't want to remember any magic right now.</p>
<p>The Akuma was cleansed quickly. The cure was called for even faster.</p>
<p>Marinette was surprised when her transformation faded, but she supposed she might have de-transformed on her own without noticing.</p>
<p>Or perhaps five minutes had passed already.</p>
<p>It didn’t really matter, did it?</p>
<p>“Don’t-Don’t leave just yet, will you?”, she whispered, tears welling up in her eyes and then a sob spilled from her lips.</p>
<p>Chat pulled her closer once more.</p>
<p>“Of course not. I’ll stay as long as you need me to.”</p>
<p>And stay he did. Silently holding her, stroking her hair, comforting her once again and all it did was make Marinette feel even worse because he had wasted an entire afternoon.</p>
<p>All because she had almost lost the Miraculous Box – and later she’d scold herself for letting it lay next to her, discarded and unwatched.</p>
<p>“Sh-She was in m-my room, Chat!”, she eventually hiccuped, clutching him closer to her</p>
<p>“She-she broke i-in and - and took the box and – and I-I thought it was <em>you, </em>but it wasn’t, it was Mayura and I-I-I almost lost the box. I almost lost the box, I almost-”</p>
<p>And then she broke off, her eyes fixating somewhere far, far away and all Chat could do was hold her and be on the lookout for anymore Akuma – but none came. Not after a minute, not after five, not after ten.</p>
<p>Marinette had yet to say anything again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Another minute passed. Another. An-</p>
<p>“She almost got the box, Chat. The-The box. The Miraculous!”</p>
<p>“I know, Mari. But she didn’t, did she? She didn’t get the box. We stopped her!”</p>
<p>He was trying to sound optimistic and he was pretty sure he succeeded, too – but all his words did was make her face go paler as horror crept upon her features.</p>
<p>“She could come back any time”, she whispered.</p>
<p>“She-She could come back tomorrow or when I’m at school or-or when I’m asleep and-and she could bring Hawkmoth too, and, and...”</p>
<p>“It’s going to be ok, Mari”, Chat murmured:”I know it will. You’re amazing – don’t ever let anyone make you doubt that, ok?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>.o.O.o.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The next day, the news was filled with pictures of her and Chat hugging and everyone zoomed in on the box laying next to them.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>THE MIRACULOUS BOX?!</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>LADYBUG ATTACKED!</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>WHY HAWKMOTH MAY HAVE MORE ALLIES!</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Marinette was supposed to go to school that day. But she didn’t. Instead, Tikki was busy keeping watch over any incoming Akuma.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>. O .</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Three days passed. Three days in which Marinette stayed holed up in her room, refusing to come out, safe the occasional Akuma attack – there were five. Five in three days and everytime Marinette had to leave her home, she hid the Box somewhere in the house, <em>praying </em>that Mayura wouldn’t find it.</p>
<p>She tried once, but Marinette had handed her parents a Miraculous each – just for safekeeping – and they had managed to defend their home.</p>
<p>But only barely. Ladybug and Chat Noir had needed to leave the Akuma battle to take care of the Sentimonster that had been attacking the bakery and once they had finished, Marinette had fought the Akuma while holding onto the Miraculous Box</p>
<p>God knows who might rove around that place at night.</p>
<p>Mariette didn’t leave her covers for any other reason though. Tikki made her take a shower <em>once</em> and</p>
<p>“A...second picnic? My, my, if I didn’t know better I’d think you were trying to woo me...”, Chat suggested, waggling his eyebrows in a silly manner.</p>
<p>Marinette knew he was trying to cheer her up.</p>
<p>She forced herself to grin.</p>
<p>Chat’s smile fell.</p>
<p>“Is-Is this another “Thank you”?”, he asked and they both knew the answer to that was a “No”.</p>
<p>“Chat, you-you know that I love you, right?”</p>
<p>“...Yes? What’s bringing this on, bugaboo?”</p>
<p>“And you trust me?”</p>
<p>“More than anyone else.”</p>
<p>Marinette kept silent for a few minutes, refusing to meet Chat’s eyes and Chat’s ears were pressed flat to his head.</p>
<p>Neither of them touched the food she had neatly spread on the blanket.</p>
<p>“Remember Reflekta 2.0?”</p>
<p>“When we switched Miraculous?”</p>
<p>“Yes.”</p>
<p>“Of course.”</p>
<p>“I was incredibly unfair to you back then.”<br/><br/>Chat sat up straighter at her words, tilting his head in confusion.</p>
<p>“What do you mean?”</p>
<p>“I-You were a great “Mister Bug” and I shouldn’t have treated you the way I did. But I didn’t see it and I got mad at you and-I was being unfair.”</p>
<p>She lowered her gaze and bit her lips, because Chat looked at her all confused. But his tail was lashing out nonetheless, nervously slapping against her flower pots until one of them was sent crashing down.</p>
<p>Chat ignored it.</p>
<p>So did Marinette.</p>
<p>“What is-What is bringing this on, Marinette? What-Why now?”, he asked, his voice shaking and he stepped closer and Marinette knew <em>he </em>knew because horror slowly crept upon his features and he eventually whispered:”What-What are you suggesting, Marinette?”</p>
<p>She still didn’t meat his gaze. It’d be too painful. It was hard enough as it was.</p>
<p>“I...”, her voice cracked and she had to swallow, her throat suddenly feeling too dry.</p>
<p>“We both know the Miraculous Box isn’t safe with me anymore and...”</p>
<p>“No.”</p>
<p>“Chat, let me...”</p>
<p>“No. No, bug, we-you...we can’t. We can’t! If-If you give up the guardianship you-you’d forget me! You’d forget <em>us</em>. Out ime together as-as partners! I can’t do this without you...” You’d have another partner, maybe we can...” “No! I-<em>you’re </em>my partner! I don’t want another!”</p>
<p>And then, suddenly, Chat was all close up to her and Marinette had to swallow again, trying to keep the tears at bay.</p>
<p>“We’ll find a solution, I-I will take the Miraculous Box! Keep it with me, tey don’t know where I live and Hawkmoth-Hawkmoth can go to hell. We’ll find a way to do this, we-you can’t give up! You’re <em>Ladybug</em>! You never give up!” “It’s different this...” “We just have to wait this out. Things will go back to normal again. I’m sure of it. Just...don’t leave me, Marinette- Whatever happens, please...just don’t leave me. Don’t-Don’t you dare give up the Miraculous Box!”</p>
<p>“Chat...”</p>
<p>“Promise me, Marinette! Promise me you won’t give up, ok!!”</p>
<p>She finally looked at him and was surprised to find tears in his eyes and any objection she had had dissipated in that moment.</p>
<p>“Promise me?”</p>
<p>“Promise.”</p>
<p>And Chat leaned back and forced himself to smile and Marinette forced herself to lie as well.</p>
<p>“You’re the best partner I could wish for, bug. I trust you and with this...I trust you to trust me. Things will get better eventually.”</p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This chapter’s lateness is entirely the fault of my dislike for action scenes.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>“Do you know that feeling, when you're floating? Carefree, perhaps – through time and space – but then you realize it’s Sunday and life will catch up with you sooner or later?”</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>!!!ATTENTION!!!</p>
<p>I split this chapter into two. I am unsure whether the first (this) one really describes a panic attack, however it does detail Marinette dealing (badly) with a pressuring situation and getting overwhelmed by it, so I’m putting a trigger warning here – if that sounds like something you’d rather skip, don’t read the ninth (this) chapter.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>oOoOo<br/>.</p>
<p>Forget me not (because I will)</p>
<p>.<br/>oOoOo</p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Class. She was going to class today and Marinette couldn’t be any more excited.</p>
<p>She packed her bag. Packed her things.</p>
<p>Got ready.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She wasn’t ready.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>.O.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>White noise.</p>
<p>That damned white noise.</p>
<p>The halls were filled with it, as soon as Marinette was spotted, eyes growing wide and walls growing narrower.</p>
<p>White noise and silence and the student body parted in front of her, like a the red sea had done for moses.</p>
<p>Marinette stumbled once she was hit by it, her breath growing ragged and more labored with each steps she took into the pressure chamber.</p>
<p>White noise.</p>
<p>Only white noise.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She could deal with the white noise.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>Ding</em>.</p>
<p>Marinette’s head snapped up, whirled aside, her heart speeding up as she stared at the eyes of another student, like a deer caught in the head eyes.</p>
<p>Snap down.</p>
<p>Don’t look at anyone.</p>
<p>Just keep going.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>Ding</em>.</p>
<p>Eyes widened.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>It’s just a message. Just a simple, text message. She had to keep walking, couldn’t stop, if she stopped people would start asking questions – were they already asking questions? - if she stopped she had to talk and if she had to talk she-she couldn't talk, she had to keep going, she had to-</p>
<p>Keep going.</p>
<p>Just a text message.</p>
<p>It was going to be fine.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>Flash</em>.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Flash. Flash. Flash.</em>
</p>
<p>P-Pictures. People were just taking pictures.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>Flash</em>.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Of her.</p>
<p>They were taking pictures of her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Ding. Flash. Ding. Ding.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>A-And sending them, and texting them, and-and people were taking pictures and messaging and-and everyone would see her and-</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Flash. Tileril, tileril, tileril. Flash. Ding, ding, ding. Tututututututututuuuutututu. Flash.</em>
</p>
<p>She had to take a breath. That’s all she needed, she’d just stop for a few seconds and-</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“<em>She-She looks pale, doesn’t she?”. Ding. Flash. Ring, ring. </em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>Marinette stumbled, but a deep breath, just a deep breath, that was all she needed, then it’d be over and-</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“<em>Are you ok?” Ding. Ding. Ding. Trilililili. “Hey, look here!” Flash.Flash. Flash. “Can we help you?” Ringering, ringerin. Flash. Flash.</em></p>
<p>“<em>Can we talk just like that?” Flash. “Do you think she’ll be alright?” Tututu.“Call a teacher! We have to call a teacher!” “We had class together once, do you remember me?”</em></p>
<p>“<em>Should we...” Flash. “...fine...” Ding. Ding. “...look there!” “Can you...” Flash. Flash. “...Hawkmoth...” “How...transform?” “...interview?” Ringaring. “...friends...” “Huge...” “Chat Noir...”</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Marinette’s legs gave in.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“<em>Talk to us, flash, ding, what is it, ring, Chat Noir, transform, Ladybug, class, akumatized, ring, ring, ring, rally pale, what are we doing, should leave, flash, tingaling, keep away, medic!, get here, okay, can I-</em> <b>“Marinette! Marinette, over here!”</b> -<em>thinks so ding ding be alright flash have time want to say flash flash flash how about nevermind autograph weird CALL A TEACHER classroom flash keeping up best friend Miraculous ring ring ring my idol yes I wrote she’s here- </em><b>“Let-Let me trough!”</b> -<em>who’s whatever rude stop! Flash akuma help we need best friend maybe we ding ding ding- </em><b>“</b><b>Can’t you see what’s happening?!”</b> <b>-</b><em>gre co teach eve he mo ho ma kni par fam frie clo le theo ta mira he- </em><b>“Guys, please!" </b><em>a g o r i t u m a f u k i k e y p o t u l i r e k a m y d e q u d y d r u l o b r e k o r f e r p o m e r r r r r r r r </em><em>g o l f a n b r i l g r e t o u b y r r r r r a m l a w h c o r c l m i t h o r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r f l o t e a h e l r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r f a i l a k u l o s t r a r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r f e l k n i c o l w r o n b r a t h a n a m a z r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r  -</em><b>“I said m</b><strong>ove!”-</strong><em>r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r </em><em>r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r </em></p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“<em><b>JUST MOVE!”</b></em></p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The sea parted once more.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The way the sun was shining through the mirror, Alya could have worn a halo, easily, but then she was kneeling down in front of Marinette already, her eyes clouded by worry – she shouldn’t have to worry, she had simply walked down the hallway – she always did! - there was nothing difficult about that, nothing had happened- – her hands protectively clasping Marinette’s.</p>
<p>“You’re here, Marinette, why didn’t you-”</p>
<p>The brunette trailed off. Marinette wasn't focusing. Alya squeezed her hands, softly.</p>
<p>“It’s ok, Mari. It’s ok, everything's alright, you don’t need to be scared.”</p>
<p>She didn’t reply.</p>
<p>“Just -breathe with me? In – and out. And in – and out, can you do that? Can you – that’s great, just like that, just keep going...”<br/><br/>Alya squeezed her hands another time, in encouragement and she kept counting, ignoring the masses around her, that were slowly being dispersed by some of their classmates.</p>
<p>“You’re doing great, Marinette! You’re – can you stand?”</p>
<p>But, although her breathing had evened out, Marinette had yet to reply.</p>
<p>Alya forced herself to smile.</p>
<p>“If you can’t stand, that’s fine! The boys can carry you home and-”</p>
<p>That got a reaction out of Marinette, whose hands suddenly gripped Alya’s.</p>
<p>“No.”</p>
<p>Her voice sounded hoarse.</p>
<p>“No-No home. Can’t go home.”</p>
<p>“What? Why? Girl, of course you can, no one will mind – and it’s for the better!”</p>
<p>But, vehemently, Marinette shook her head.</p>
<p>“I can’t. I-I can’t, I can’t, I can’t.”</p>
<p>“You have to, Mari, you can’t stay.”</p>
<p>“I’m fine, perfectly fine, everything’s alright, I-” “Marinette, no.” “-got to go-” “Please, don’t...” “Got to go, missed so much already-” “You didn't, we can share notes, <em>please</em>.” “-nothing happened, everything’s alright, I-"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Mari, trust me. Please”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>That got Marinette to stop rambling. To look. To take another deep breath.</p>
<p>Alya’s eyes were shining with worry still and she was chewing her lip now – and even though Marinette didn’t reply, she did take her best friend's hand and got up, on wobbly feet.</p>
<p>She wondered whether Alya got into trouble for skipping school that day, seeing how she refused to leave her side until Chat Noir took over that night.</p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Please leave a review if you enjoyed.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A friend in need is a friend indeed and an enemy in need is, well – at least they’re consistent.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>During the talk with Madame Bustier I incorporated an idea I’ve read in a different story (how to properly combine Marinette’s schoolwork and hero duty), however I forgot what it was called – if anyone knows, please let me know so I can give credit where credit is due.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>oOoOo<br/>.</p>
<p>Forget me not (because I will)</p>
<p>.<br/>oOoOo</p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Yesterday had been plain awful. Horrendously awful. Marinette had gone to school, barely taken five steps into the building and then collapsed – so her parents had decided to keep her home for another day still, leaving Marinette to stare up at her ceiling, brewing in disappointment.</p>
<p>Five steps. Five steps! She had barely made it down the hallway!</p>
<p>At least spending some time with Alya had been nice. And she could finally enter the bakery, too, seeing how a lot of the initial storm had subsided by now! And Chat Noir had visited – he did that everyday, of course, but it never failed to put a smile on her face.</p>
<p>Anyway.</p>
<p>Tomorrow would be better. So much better. Marinette was convinced it was going to be better, it had to be, after all – she couldn't stay holed up in her room forever and anyway – she didn’t want to.</p>
<p>She missed her friends.</p>
<p>Her class.</p>
<p>Her school even, maybe, a little bit – was this what Adrien had felt like?</p>
<p>Probably.</p>
<p>She just really wanted to go already. And really, if she lived in fear all her life, wouldn't that mean Hawkmoth would have won – to some extent? So Marinette sat up and did the one thing she was best at – planning.</p>
<p>More than last time, anyway.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>.O.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Step One of Marinette’s ingenious plan of going to school without getting seen was – well, a simple oversight that she should have eliminated right from the start. Three days ago already Marinette had asked Tikki just what exactly constituted as “selfish use of a Miraculous” – and Tikki had responded by pointing out that using the Horse Miraculous in a situation like this – like avoiding nosy paparazzi – was more than reasonable.</p>
<p>Which was exactly what Marinette had done, three days ago, creating a portal to a hidden corner in the school yard – she knew these pretty well, after all – de-transforming and then casually strolling towards her classroom.</p>
<p>It had gone according to plan perfectly up to the “casually strolling towards her classroom part”.</p>
<p>Perhaps using the Mriaculous to get her directly into her classroom would have been the more reasonable thing to do, but back then, Marinette hadn’t thought of it – too excited she might escape the house at last and to finally be able to talk to her friends.</p>
<p>Alas, it hadn’t worked, but it was an easy problem to solve.</p>
<p>Everything would go perfectly fine this time.</p>
<p>It would.</p>
<p>Had to.</p>
<p>And it was going fine! Going fine already! Right now, Marinette was sitting in her chair, a box with Macarons in front of her – Marinette didn’t know why she had brought them today, but when she had left the house this morning, it just felt right to grab a few – patiently waiting for anyone else to join her.</p>
<p>It was 23 minutes past seven o’clock.</p>
<p>Nervously, Marinette was bouncing her legs.</p>
<p>First period was just normal homeroom.</p>
<p>Marinette opened the box of Macarons, inspected them and then closed the box.</p>
<p>Should she have told Madame Bustier? She had texted Alya, but only this morning, so she couldn't possibly have told their teacher, but maybe her parents had? Called Madame Bustier, that was.</p>
<p>Well, it shouldn’t matter.`She was a student in this class. It was only naturally she attended it, too. Just because she was Ladybug, it didn’t mean she had to notify everyone she was going to show up.</p>
<p>She didn’t. Being Ladybug shouldn’t change anything. <em>Didn’t </em>change anything, that was.</p>
<p>Marinette opened the box with Macarons once more and snatched one, breaking it in half and handing on of said halves to Tikki. The Kwami smiled thankfully and took it, gnawing away at the treat, her eyes never once leaving Marinette’s frame.</p>
<p>The clock ticked in the background. Marinette considered inspecting the Macarons again. Tikki swallowed.</p>
<p>“You’re shaking.”</p>
<p>Marinette startled at the sudden noise, then sat more upright, before eyeing her legs.</p>
<p>They were still bouncing.</p>
<p>She stopped.</p>
<p>“Not just your legs, Marinette. Your entire body. Don’t you notice?”</p>
<p>Wordlessly, Marinette lowered her gaze to the table, her hands neatly laying on top of it, next to the box. They were trembling, come to think of. And, perhaps, she was shivering, too.</p>
<p>“It’ll be alright, Tikki. It’s just the excitement! I’ll be fine.”</p>
<p>“Are you sure? Wouldn't you rather stay home another day? I’m sure your teacher’s would be ok with it.”</p>
<p>They probably would.</p>
<p>“I’ve stayed away long enough already. And after what happened two days ago, I should probably come back to show everyone I’m alright.”</p>
<p>Ever since Mayura had tried to get the Miracle Box, Hawkmoth had been awfully quiet – there had only been a single Akuma and Chat Noir and Marinette were convinced it had served as a distraction – so they could search her room a second time.</p>
<p>Not, that that would have been of any use, but Hawkmoth had never been the brightest.</p>
<p>
  <em>(Marinette had had trouble falling asleep that night nonetheless. Maybe she could switch to a different room? She liked decorating, after all! S-Surely it’d be fun to decorate their guestroom?)</em>
</p>
<p>But other than that? Nothing. The Akuma hadn’t even been terribly hard to defeat and Marinette had to expect the worst. She had been worried sick wondering whether Hawkmoth would try to akumatize someone close to her – but until now, her fears had been unfounded.</p>
<p>But now she was in school. Close to people. Available. With a – more or less – publically available schedule for most of the day, in a place fairly small and easy to overlook.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>It’d be alright. She’d get through her first day of school again, she'd go home, finish homework and maybe slip away at night to go on patrol.</p>
<p>She hadn’t been on patrol at all, these past, what, two weeks?</p>
<p>A bit less.</p>
<p>Chat Noir deserved a better partner.</p>
<p>“If you think that's best, Marinette, I’ll support you! – just keep in mind there's nothing wrong if you start feeling to overwhelmed!”, Tikki chimed, ripping Marinette from her thoughts – she hummed in agreement, her legs picking up the bouncing again.</p>
<p>It was okay to be nervous. Perfectly normal, in fact.</p>
<p>So really, she shouldn’t feel bad for letting out a loud shriek when the classroom door opened for the first time that day.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>.O.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The first to enter the classroom had been Nathaniel – and really, Marinette should have known.</p>
<p>It was good news, too, because Nathaniel was shy and quiet and not as in-your-face as other classmates of hers tended to be. When he had entered he had startled, too, before staring at her for a good few seconds.</p>
<p>It had been rather uncomfortable, but soon enough he had ripped his gaze away from her and shuffled to the last row, refusing to look at her.</p>
<p>Which had been uncomfortable, too – it had almost felt as if he didn’t want her to be here.</p>
<p>It took him five minutes to speak up.</p>
<p>“G-Good morning, Marinette”, he had stammered, startling her once more. But Tikki had patted her knee encouragingly and she had turned around, facing him.</p>
<p>She cursed when her leg hit the other table, before greeting him.</p>
<p>“Good-Good morning! Long time no see, I guess?”</p>
<p>Marinette forced herself to smile.</p>
<p>Nathaniel did the same.</p>
<p>The silence that ensued was awkward, to say the least.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Luckily, it didn’t last forever.</p>
<p>“I-I wanted to thank you”, Nathaniel stammeredeventually:”For – well for being Ladybug. Being an inspiration to all of us and – uh...”</p>
<p>He was turning away now, blushing ever so slightly and Marinette cocked her head in confusion, until he let out a sigh.</p>
<p>“And also to apologize. I-I don’t remember much of when I was akumatized, but, uh, well – sorry. For getting akumatized, that is. For – asking you-forcing you onto a date? I don’t-I – I am sorry. For causing trouble.”</p>
<p>Nathaniel’s last words where whispered and barely spoken into existence. He wasn’t meeting her gaze either and Marinette’s eyes softened at the gesture.</p>
<p>“It’s alright”, she said:”No one should feel bad for their feelings – if anything, Hawkmoth should apologize for taking advantage of you!”</p>
<p>She smiled brightly now, but it had yet to catch on with Nathaniel, and eventually, her own smile faltered, too.</p>
<p>It wasn’t long until he whispered:”But I-I got someone else akumatized. Marc, remember? I-I should have been more considerate of his feelings – I could have prevented his akumatization, if I had.”</p>
<p>The memory seemed to haunt him and Marinette was overwhelmed by pity, almost – Nathaniel wasn’t wrong, of course, he had gotten Marc akumatized, after all, but – no one should have to feel so much responsibility about something as petty as high school squabbles.</p>
<p>Hawkmoth sucked.</p>
<p>Maybe there was more to being Ladybug, too.</p>
<p>“You apologized, didn't you? You admitted your mistake and made up with Marc-”</p>
<p>They had been dating for two months now, so they most certainly had made up.</p>
<p>“-and they forgave you. It happens. I got people akumatized plenty of times, too – the most important thing will always be that you learn from your mistakes.”</p>
<p>Marinette smiled again, forced and not nearly as convincing as she made herself believe, but for a few seconds, Nathaniel smiled back.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>.O.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The next people to enter were, surprisingly, Sabrina and Chloé. That would never have happened earlier this year, but Chloé was making a valiant effort to get better – and maybe, getting to school early was her way of doing it.</p>
<p>Marinette didn’t judge her intentions. Maybe the effectiveness of her methods, but never her intentions.</p>
<p>The pair stopped in the doorway for a few seconds once they spotted her sitting at the table. Marinette tensed up immediately – but just like Nathaniel, they didn’t say anything. Chloé harrumphed and Sabrina lowered her gaze and both of them stalked to their own seats, making a great show of ignoring her existence.</p>
<p>The silence continued once they had settled into their seats – although, much more tense than it had been before.</p>
<p>Marinette’s legs started bouncing again. Chloé eventually noticed and huffed, crossing her arms across her chest.</p>
<p>Sabrina nudged her with an elbow.</p>
<p>Chloé huffed again.</p>
<p>“I apologized already”, she said.</p>
<p>“I know”, Marinette responded., though she was positive Chloé’s words were meant for Sabrina, not for her.</p>
<p>She opened the box with Macarons, wondering, whether she should offer any now.</p>
<p>She decided against it.</p>
<p>“Thank you for letting Pollen speak to me”, Chloé eventually added, her voice sounding, soft, almost, devoid of it’s usual scratchiness – and that was that. Chloé leaned closer to Sabrina who lit up at the attention and it was clear the conversation – if one could call it that – was finished.</p>
<p>And Marinette smiled. Not necessarily because of the apology – but because Chloé and Sabrina were talking to each other. Silently, of course – but it took the edge off of the silence.</p>
<p>For that, Marinette was grateful.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>.O.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Juleka, Rose, Myléne and Ivan were the next to enter – and the first to say something upon arrival.</p>
<p>“Marinette! You made it!”, Rose cheered, not a second after having thrown the door open – had she known she’d be here? Had Alya texted her? – and bounded up to her desk, Juleka following her loyally – though she looked similarly uncomfortable to the way Marinette felt.</p>
<p>“I’m so glad you made it, I was so worried after I heard about what happened in the hallway! Oh, you can’t believe how relieved I am and – and thank you! Thank you, of course, thank you so, so much! For-For everything. For being Ladybug and being or class representatives and for making the outfits for Kitty Section and just – for being amazing! You’re great! The best!”</p>
<p>Rose was beaming and leaning over Marinette’s table – ans just didn't stop talking and Marinette had trouble being mad at her for it, because, well – that was Rose and really, she was just trying to be nice!</p>
<p>Luckily, Mylène admonished her eventually and pulled the blonde away a bit, who was all bright and wide-eye, though Mylène herself seemed to be equally excited. Thanks were said, questions asked and eventually, Ivan ushered all of them away, his girlfriend calming Rose down in the process.</p>
<p>He smiled at her, once he had sat down at his place.</p>
<p>“Thanks for believing in me, even when everything was still new to you”, he said – and that was that once again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>.O.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Max was the next to arrive, closely followed by Madame Bustier and Marinette wished she would have had more time, because upon entering the room, Madame Bustier held a short speech on how thankful everyone in school, and in Paris was for all that she had done and how important it was, she didn’t forget to take care of herself.</p>
<p>Then she had put the pre-written speech aside, smiled at Marinette and thanked her in earnest.</p>
<p>“We’re still working out a way to incorporate your hero-responsibilities into everyday class, but be assured, any tardies you may have earned during your duty as Ladybug – that can be traced back to being related to an Akuma attack – will be forgiven and won’t be mentioned on your report card. And if you have any input on anything yourself – our offices will always be open to you.”</p>
<p>Then she asked her for a Macaron which Marinette gratefully handed over – and then one to Max, who had come to thank her as well.</p>
<p>And then to everyone else – with the exception of Chloé – too, because really, who would say “no” to a Dupain-Cheng-Macaron?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>.O.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Alya was the next one to arrive, throwing open the door and storming into the room, followed by a “You made it!” shouted through class.</p>
<p>Hurriedly, Alya rushed to her seat, falling down next to Marinette, a wide grin showing all her teeth.</p>
<p>“Girl, I’m so glad to see you!”, she exclaimed, pulling Marinette into a tight hug.</p>
<p>“I was worried you might not come in today!”, she added, letting go of Marinette again, falling back into her chair, grinning widely.</p>
<p>Marinette frowned.</p>
<p>“You thought I wouldn’t come?”</p>
<p>“Oh, no, no! You're way too stubborn for your own good, girl, of course I knew you’d do anything to come! I was afraid your parents might decide to keep you at home a bit longer – I’m glad they didn’t though!”</p>
<p>And Alya patted Marinette’s hand, before pulling back once more, her smile tightening and her eyes glancing downwards nervously.</p>
<p>“But-but if you ever feel like you’re getting overwhelmed – tell me, alright? We’ll find you a nice, abandoned hiding spot and I’ll keep watch to make sure no one starts bothering you, okay? Just – be careful, Mari. That – when you were in the hallway like that, that was really, really scary.”</p>
<p>And she fell silent. Marinette turned away too, staring at her notebook in which she had doodled into</p>
<p>Alya smiled at her understandingly – and then she just – chatted. About all and nothing, not a single word hinting at her being Ladybug, at what had happened three days ago or – anything, really.</p>
<p>Marinette couldn't have been more thankful.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>.O.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Marinette had been plenty distracted when the next pair entered the class – Adrien and Nino who were chatting animatedly.</p>
<p>Both their features lit up once they spotted her.</p>
<p>“Dudette!”, Nino exclaimed, speeding up his steps until he came to a halt just in front of her table.</p>
<p>And then stepped back, when Alya glared at her boyfriend once.</p>
<p>“How are you? Feeling better today?”</p>
<p>“I really hope you do!”, Adrien chimed in, coming closer now, too, green eyes shining with warmth and kindness and for a moment Marinette forget her woes.</p>
<p>She could get lost in these eyes, lost and lost and forever-</p>
<p>“...arinette, are you okay? Marinette?”</p>
<p>Marinette snapped free from the spell she was put under, her gaze switching from Alya – who was grinning knowingly – to Nino – who seemed to be worried at first but caught on quickly – to Adrien, who seemed to be rather spooked.</p>
<p>“Are you sure you’ve fully recovered already, Mari? I-I’d hate for something like that to happen again you looked awfully pale-”</p>
<p>And then – then Adrien grinned ever so slyly, in a way she would have never expected him to.</p>
<p>Hadn’t even imagined was possible for Mr. Blue Sky himself.</p>
<p>“I didn’t mind carrying you home, yesterday, but – I’d really rather you stay safe”, he added, smiling at her softly and immediately, Marinette blushed furiously, barely being able to keep herself from giggling.</p>
<p>Was-Was he flirting with her?</p>
<p>She peered at Alya for confirmation, who has simply smiling amusedly and Marinette blushed even harder.</p>
<p>Adrien was flirting with her!</p>
<p>But – why was he flirting with her?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>.O.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Alix and Kim were the last to join class, barreling through the door, bantering and boldly proclaiming their presence to anyone within earshot.</p>
<p>They paused for a few seconds when they spotted her – and wide smiles broke out on their faces – but they were remarkable laid back. Kim gave her a highfive – and she knew he had held back when slaping her hand, because she <em>knew</em> how much his higfives hurt – and, as he walked to his own seat, exclaimed:”You’re amazing, Mari! Absolutely amazing! Care to join the track team later today – bet you’d be one of the best – safe for me, of course!”</p>
<p>And after rolling her eyes, Alix chimed in:”If you start daring her to do dumb stuff, Kim, I’ll kick your butt later today.”</p>
<p>Then she looked at Marinette and gave her thumbs up and a toothy grin:”Great work, Marinette! It’s high <em>time</em> for you to get some more appreciation – Keep it up!”</p>
<p>Marinette didn’t miss the conspiratorial nod and the way Alix sent her.</p>
<p>And once again, she smiled.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>.O.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was half an hour after class had started that Lila burst into the room, all breathless and wide-eyed.</p>
<p>“I-I’m so sorry!”, she exclaimed, loudly, interrupting the class as she threw the door open:”I was talking to-to Penny Rolling about-well I can’t say, NDA and all, but-but I-I’m so, so sorry for being late! But I just couldn’t leave any earlier and I didn’t want to offend Mr. Rolling!”</p>
<p>Lila made a great show of letting her bag hang off of her shoulder, as if she were exhausted, as she stood in the hallway, her breath too regular to be caused by anything but acting. Of course, if she were exhausted, they would have heard her footsteps earlier and they hadn't, but her classmates didn’t seem to care, instead choosing to “oh” and “ah” at the Italians fancy tale.</p>
<p>Marinette groaned at the Italian’s entrance, earning her a jab in the rib by Alya and a sympathetic smile from Adrien.</p>
<p>She remembered the “conversation” she had had with Mr. Damocles and Madame Bustier after her reinstatement into the school all too well.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“<em>I know my mental illness is – is dangerous, but please don’t tell anyone? I – I don't want everyone to pity me and-and-and doubt everything I say! And anyway, if the teacher’s know, shouldn’t that be enough?”</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lila had looked at her teachers all teary-eyed and, <em>of course, </em>they had believed her. Though, perhaps Lila might have had a point. If she really suffered from a “lying disease”, telling everyone would run her social life and a mental illness shouldn’t bare one from having friends.</p>
<p>But Lila didn’t have any disease. Which they could have checked easily. Lila was taking the suffering of millions and twisted it for her own gain and if anything, Marinette was even more appalled by her.</p>
<p>Lila’s gaze swept the classroom once, apologetically smiling at everyone and taking up more class time, Marinette noticed), until her got stuck on her.</p>
<p>And for the tiniest of seconds, her carefully crafted smile gave way to a hateful snarl.</p>
<p>“Marinette! You’re here!”, she exclaimed, bounding forwards and leaning into her space, too close, way too close, way too…</p>
<p>Carefully, Alya pushed her away a bit and Lila gave in – for now.</p>
<p>“I-I was worried sick! Worried something might happen! After what happened two days ago no less, I was so worried you might get akumatized and I-I can’t imagine, a teenager like you, having to bear this burden all by herself, it seems impossible almost, does it not?”</p>
<p>Doe-eyes blinked innocently, as Lila leaned back in again – but the concern sounded hollow in Marinette’s ears. This wasn't concern at all. This was Lila trying to portray her as a teenager to irresponsible and emotional to handle a Miraculous.</p>
<p>Luckily, Marinette wasn’t the only one to notice the hidden jab at her – Alya was reassuringly patting her back and Madame Bustier – Madame Bustier frowned.</p>
<p>“Well, that is very nice of you Lila – but perhaps that can way until the end of class?”, she admonished her and Lila swirled around, Marinette a forgotten prop now that the scene was over.</p>
<p>“Of course, Madame Bustier!”</p>
<p>And she shuffled off to her seat.</p>
<p>Marinette could feel a pair of eyes burn into the back of her skull for the rest of the lesson. She knew Lila was going to be mad, was probably planning something already – she had had enough time ever since the reveal and Marinette wasn’t naive enough not to think that Lila would stop her petty vendetta just because she had been revealed to Ladybug. In fact, it would be yet another reason for her to bully her – however, Marinette hadn’t expected Lila to take actions this swiftly.</p>
<p>“Oh, Marinette, by the way, did you hand in your doctor’s note already?”, she asked, just after Madame Bustier had ended class. Somehow, she had wormed her way next to Marinette already, but she spoke loud enough for everyone to hear – and to stop in their tracks, to eavesdrop.</p>
<p>“I would hate for you to get an unexcused absence if you forgot to hand it in on time!”, Lila added once she was sure she had grabbed everyone’s attention, a dangerous twinkling in her eyes – a threat, no doubt.</p>
<p>But for once, Madame Bustier had had her back.</p>
<p>“I don’t think that’s necessary, Lila – she’ll be fine, even without a note”, she said, worried eyes following the exchange going on as she ordered her papers, evidently wanting to leave already, to get to her next class.</p>
<p>Yet Lila had other plans.</p>
<p>“But...doesn’t she need some kind of letter? A doctor’s note?”</p>
<p>3...2...1… A concerned frown was appeared on Lila’s face, though to Marinette, it was a sinister smile.</p>
<p>“She has been absent the entire last week! Shouldn’t those absences be marked?”</p>
<p>Now, of course one might point out that in all her time that Lila had attended this class, she had never once brought in a single doctor’s note, but that didn’t keep Lila from twisting the rules in her favor – or trying to, it seemed, as not just Madame Bustier, but most of their classmates were frowning now.</p>
<p>Alya had furrowed her brows, Adrien had crossed his arms in front of his chest and Nino was leaning back suspiciously – quite the opposite to the reactions Marinette had come to expect.</p>
<p>Though Marinette doubted that <em>this</em> would be the Italians downfall.</p>
<p>“Now, Lila, in a situation like this it is...”, Madame Bustier began, just to be interrupted. A well-practices spin and there wasn’t much their teacher could do.</p>
<p>“I mean, we all know what happened”, Lila said.</p>
<p>Marinette closed her eyes exhaustedly, missing Adrien’s worried gaze sweeping her expression for any signs of discomfort and shuffling uncomfortably in his seat.</p>
<p>“Of course it won’t be an issue for any of us – but I wouldn’t want someone to look at her report card one day and get Marinette into trouble for having missed some days without explanation! We all know how much tardies she already gets anyway!”</p>
<p>And that actually earned some nods! And quite some worried glances at Marinette, and Marinette would have been thankful, too, if she hadn’t been too busy shuddering at the sway the Italian held over the class.</p>
<p>“Lila, I assure...”</p>
<p>A sway Marinette was entirely sick of.</p>
<p>“I assure you, that I will provide a doctor’s note by tomorrow”, she interrupted her teacher. Her head was held high as she braced herself for all the staring – for every single eye to be directed at her. Adrien was smiling at her encouragingly, but Alya – Alya was looking at her in concern and Marinette could hear her admonishing words “Lila was just trying to help, girl, no need to get so snappy!” clear as the day.</p>
<p>She’d have to talk to Alya about Lila’s true nature at some point.</p>
<p>Perhaps she already suspected something.</p>
<p>But that was a thought for another day.</p>
<p>“I’m sure they will all agree that taking a week of to heal the <em>injuries</em> I sustained while fighting the latest Akuma’s to save <em>everyone in this classroom</em> is reasonable. If you want to convince yourself – I can show you the bruise that I got from being thrown across the street right now. It still hasn’t healed.”</p>
<p>Silence followed her words. One could hear a pin drop in it.</p>
<p>Most of her classmates had averted their gazes, looking at the paper in front of them. Her friends still smiled at her and Lila – Lila held her gaze with the sort of stubborn determination Marinette had never expected to meet in the Italian’s eyes.</p>
<p>“Very well, Marinette. I don’t think a doctor’s note will be necessary – we all believe you.”</p>
<p>Madame Bustier didn’t dare to look Marinette in the eyes either.</p>
<p>Bruises Injuries. Everyone had already sustained them at least once during Akuma attacks and all of them had carried around a remainder of them for a while. If you broke your leg, you had some phantom pain for a day or two.</p>
<p>No one had ever thought what it must have been like for the heroes.</p>
<p>And for the rest of the class, no one dared to ask either.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>.O.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Marinette was hiding out in an empty classroom, shaking and trembling and trying her hardest to actually listen to Tikki, when Lila found her.</p>
<p>Really, she should have expected that much. There was no way the Italian would let her get away with showing her up in front of the entire class.</p>
<p>She shouldn’t be surprised Lila told Alya, waiting in front of said bathroom, to let her in “because Penny Rolling had asked her to talk to Marinette for top-secret reasons”, either, but to her surprise, Alya was unwilling to budge, still.</p>
<p>“Does she? Why not just sent an email?”, she asked and Marinette could vividly imagine the inquisitive frown she'd be wearing right now.</p>
<p>But no matter what Alya said, Lila just brushed it off.</p>
<p>“Oh, you see, they were worried someone might try to hack Marinette’s email – because she’s Ladybug and what not – and want to make sure it stays super secret! Conversations don't leave evidence, do they?”</p>
<p>“I don’t think Marinette really wants to hear any of that right now, Lila –” Marinette made a mental reminder to treat Alya to ice cream later. “– No offense of course! But – I think right now Marinette just needs some time to calm down and...”</p>
<p>“But Jagged Stone is her favorite artist, isn't he?”, Lila interrupted and a chorus of other voices joined in – her other classmates, mostly.</p>
<p>Reluctantly, Alya accepted to let her in. The door handle was pressed down and the door swung open, showing Lila's back at first, as she waved at her entourage.</p>
<p>“And no eavesdropping! This is top secret – and you don’t want me to get into legal trouble, do you?”</p>
<p>Then, the door fell closed, Lila turned around – and her fake smile was gone, replaced by a nasty frown and judging eyes.</p>
<p>Marinette braised herself, remembering all these times Lila had looked at her just like that, had sized her up to say something vile, to-to-to…</p>
<p>To threaten her.</p>
<p>Marinette could feel herself starting to shake.</p>
<p>“Well, if it isn’t our local bug infestation – Marinette. What a pleasure to see you again – tell me, that time you told Adrien all about my stories – did you follow us that day? Were you jealous? Because it looked awfully jealous, if you were to ask me.”</p>
<p>Triumphantly, Lila stared her down – but-but Marinette found herself frowning. Adrien? That-that was what Lila wanted to talk about? Not-Not anything-anything...</p>
<p>“I do wonder what Adrien would think of it – just imagine! Stalked by his <em>very good friend</em> Marinette, the hero he admires so much – I wonder whether he’d need a shoulder to cry on after that disappointment...”</p>
<p>Marinette was squinting now.</p>
<p>Adrien was what Lila wanted to talk about. Not her failings, not the way she could ruin her life as a hero, no nefarious plots to hand her over to Hawkmoth, no, <em>Adrien</em>.</p>
<p>Her cursh. Her-Her high school crush (which she was fairly certain she was in love with, but he-he was her high school crush and-and just so-so…)!</p>
<p>Which she had barely talked to these past few days!</p>
<p>And suddenly, Marinette felt oddly...calm</p>
<p>This was Lila, she realized. Just – Just Lila.</p>
<p>“I can <em>ruin</em> you, Marinette. I can ruin your Ladybug image, in, in all of your precious, little Paris. With a few rumors here and a few tweets there. Heck! In can ruin your reputation in the entire world! I – I can make your life a-a living<em>. </em>Hell. And trust me, I <em>will </em>if that is what it takes to keep you silent, if that is what I need to...”</p>
<p>Tikki had slipped away into Marinette’s bag once they had heard Lila approach – no reason to disclose any more secrets to the public than absolutely necessary – but now, she was peaking out of the bag, her eyes clouded by worry.</p>
<p>Perhaps Marinette was supposed to be furious. That Lila would threaten her, would dare to use whatever means necessary – at the prize of hurting others – to help herself. Perhaps she should be shaking with anger, but she wasn’t, because, really – she had expected a purple butterfly to enter this room. Mayura even. Maybe Hawkmoth!</p>
<p>Not Lila.</p>
<p>And as Lila kept going, Marinette wondered just what exactly she had been so scared of. Time and time again Lila had wasted her time on trying to discredit Marinette, had tried to turn people against her, had come up with the most convoluted plans to take away her friends – and time and time again, she had failed.</p>
<p>It was a simple revelation, one that undoubtedly stemmed from yet another breakdown she had narrowly avoided and from her complete and utter lack of energy to deal with this – she was too exhausted to be mad, even.</p>
<p>Marinette wanted to laugh out loud when she realized <em>she wasn’t even mad</em>. She just felt – pity.</p>
<p>And so she did just that. Laugh. Maybe a bit over the top and maybe she had let herself be more affected by Lila’s words than she liked – but it didn’t matter.</p>
<p>Lila’s opinion didn’t matter. And neither did her words.</p>
<p>And to top it all of, Marinette’s laughter made Lila absolutely furious.</p>
<p>“What?”, she hissed, leaning closer, her hands balled to fists and her eyes narrowed into tiny, tiny slits.</p>
<p>“<em>What’s</em> so funny? Did you not listen to what I said? One word, one word to lets say – Gabriel – he lets me call him by his first name, can you imagine just how important I am to him? – one word and your career? That stupid, little dream you have? <em>Ruined</em>. I can get you blacklisted. From <em>anywhere </em>I want. I can tell the press how you’ve bullied me, the poor, new student who just tried to make friends! How horribly you treated me and-”</p>
<p>“Lila, don’t you think this is silly?”</p>
<p>Marinette stepped back, taking a deep breath, before facing the bully face on.</p>
<p>The sheer indignation on Lila’s face at being so rudely interrupted made it all the more comical.</p>
<p>“Don't you - Don’t you think this is ridiculous? When I heard someone approaching, I – I thought it was Hawkmoth at first! Mayura! A purple bug! I was half-expecting having to hastily hand my Miraculous to Alya, because of my akumatization – but I didn’t have to. Because it was you. Just. You.”</p>
<p>For the first time since Lila had entered the classroom, her confidence started to slip.</p>
<p>“Go, knock yourself out and try to turn everyone against me, if that’s what makes you happy. But do not, for a single second, believe that any of this will ever be my priority. That <em>you</em> will ever be my priority. I have so many more important things to deal with than this ridiculous, petty high school drama – and lets be honest. So do you.”</p>
<p>Marinette stepped forward again, patted Lila’s shoulder once – then she simply walked away, calm, collected, with a satisfied smile on her lift.</p>
<p>Perhaps she should be thankful for Lila, for having calmed her down so much.</p>
<p>“See you in class”, she then added, right before leaving, leaving Lila to say behind, stunned.</p>
<p>Maybe Adrien had been right after all. Maybe it didn’t matter what Lila was doing – she knew the truth. And at this point, really, what was Lila going to do?</p>
<p>Lila had discredited herself, after all.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>.O.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>School – school progressed quite normally after the encounter. The Italian stopped bothering her, though Marinette was sure the liar was still glaring at her – but things went...normal. They had a pop quiz. Got homework. Had lunch.</p>
<p>And then...</p>
<p>Akuma alert. That was an Akuma alert.</p>
<p>Immediately, Marinette got up, shooting in the air and practically shouted:”Madame Bustier! I don’t feel so good, can I go to the nurse’s office?”</p>
<p>Marinette had expected her classmates to scoff or roll their eyes at her question. Half of them were convinced that she was horribly scared of Akuma attacks – courtesy of a rumor she was fairly certain a certain Italian had spread – and everyone else just thought she had health problems.</p>
<p>Marinette had never done anything to dispel these rumors. If people believed them, they wouldn’t suspect her of being Ladybug. So really, Marinette had expected eye rolls and scoffs and sympathetic glances.</p>
<p>She hadn’t expected silence.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Oh.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Yeah.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Right.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They knew.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>They knew</em>.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>And Made Bustier smiled at her gratefully before nodding at the door.</p>
<p>“Go, Marinette. Thank you and...stay safe?”</p>
<p>Her teacher shifted uncomfortably and Marinette hugged herself, smiling awkwardly before leaving the classroom in a hurry, ignoring every single “Thank you” and “Good luck!” that was thrown her way.</p>
<p>She knew her classmates meant well. Knew they were worried about her – but she didn’t want them to be.</p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Please leave a comment if you enjoyed ^^</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Time heals all wounds, but it doesn't rid you from the infection.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>oOoOo<br/><em>.</em></p>
<p>Forget me not (because I will)</p>
<p>.<br/>oOoOo</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The Akuma in question was yet another version of Lila.</p>
<p>Marinette should have known – Lila hadn’t been in class after all – but Marinette had been too busy on not stressing out too much to pay much attention to the back of their class.</p>
<p>Maybe their short conversation had affected her more than she liked to admit.</p>
<p>This time, Lila called herself the “Manager”. Her power was to make everyone accept whatever deal was offered them – and her purpose quite straightforward. Hit either Chat Noir or Ladybug with a beam from her phone – which undoubtedly held the Akuma – and force them to hand over their Miraculous. Easy and simple and by far less complicated than most of her other abilities – honestly, what even had Chameleon been?</p>
<p>It had been a weird power set for Lila to have, of course. Especially considering what had most likely caused her akumatization in the first place, but Marinette hadn’t thought too much of that either. She had needed to evade beam after beam after all, all the while trying to convince Chat Noir that school was okay. He had been against her going back to school so soon already and had had a hard time believing that she was fine.</p>
<p>It had almost sounded as if he had been there, but Marinette pointedly ignored that piece of information.</p>
<p>Chat had backed off eventually and they defeating “the Agent” afterwards had been a piece of cake.</p>
<p>The aftermath hadn’t been, though.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“<em>Ladybug! Ladybug, stay!”</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>It had been a trend, she had noticed the past few battles. People wanted to watch her de-transform. Now that everyone already knew who she was anyway, people seemingly cared a whole lot less about her boundaries – the first time, it had been like being thrown into ice-cold water.</p>
<p>She was Paris’ heroine. People had <em>adored</em> her – but no one seemed to care, now that the mask had come off.</p>
<p>Not even a broadcast by the mayor himself had stopped them from hunting her down.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“<em>Ladybug, why did it take you so long to defeat this Akuma?”</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>Perhaps Marinette should be scared and panicking right now – she was desperately trying to get away from the mob after all, wanting some peace and quiet – but she was mad instead.</p>
<p>Some Akuma battles were easier. Some were more difficult – but they were <em>never</em> fun. They were never fun and the least people could do respect her <em>goddamn boundaries</em>.</p>
<p>She was fuming and shaking from anger, she knew that, and hadn't she defeated Lila just a few minutes she might have been scared to get akumatized herself – but as it was, she didn’t have to worry about that either.</p>
<p>It was refreshing, for once. Allowing herself to be <em>mad</em>.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“<em>Ladybug, why haven’t you caught Hawkmoth yet?!” </em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>She didn’t want to deal with a million questions that had been asked already. She didn’t want to deal with this new “Normal” that forced her to accept people <em>knew </em>her name.</p>
<p>Maybe she wasn’t just shaking from anger.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>“Mademoiselle Dupain-Cheng, do you belive Hawkmoth may have a point?”<br/></em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They weren’t supposed to know her name. They weren’t supposed to recognize her face, but they did and Marinette <em>hated</em> it <em>and why was she </em><em>shaking</em><em>, she shouldn’t be shaking she </em>shouldn’t<em> be scared!</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>“<em>There are rumors going around...” “Don’t leave!” “...some say that...” “Mademoiselle Dupain-Cheng, is it true that...”</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>It never stopped. It just never did, all those questions, all those questions that <em>were exactly the same </em>and-</p>
<p>And then, suddenly, a “Don’t worry, Marinette!” was whispered into her ear.</p>
<p>And someone yanked her aside.</p>
<p>Marinette’s first reaction was to scream, then she tripped and then her fight instincts took hold and she tried to kick whoever was looming over her.</p>
<p>He evaded. But she had bought herself enough time to look up and...</p>
<p>“A-Adrien?”</p>
<p>A blonde mop of hair was messily arranged in something <em>resembling</em> his usual hairstyle – it quite reminded her of Chat Noir, if Marinette was honest – and a worried expression made wrinkles appear all over his face.</p>
<p>Marinette was quite possibly stunned.</p>
<p>She didn’t get much time to be stunned, though.</p>
<p>“Yes! God, Marinette, you had me so worried! We couldn’t find you after the latest Akuma and-and...What happened?”</p>
<p>He held out a hand for her to take – and she did, with a heart beating in her chest and one ear concentrating on the ever nearing crowd.</p>
<p>Adrien frown deepened at the sound.</p>
<p>“Oh, right! Follow me, I know a way out – I’m an expert in sneaking around, after all, one could say!”</p>
<p>He beamed at her and then smiled conspiratorial – and Marinette could feel her blush intensify even more, before she nodded.</p>
<p>“That’d be great”, she said and Adrien, without letting go off her hand, lead her through a bunch of hallways, until he found one of the art rooms.</p>
<p>“There’s a window here that leads to the roof, that everyone keeps forgetting about – we should be safe there, for the time being.”</p>
<p>Marinette didn’t question how he knew that piece of information. Instead she simply followed him as he pushed a few things away from a hidden window and beckoned her to climb through it, before carefully hiding said window behind a large painting.</p>
<p>And then they walked up a pair of stairs and ended up on the deserted roof.</p>
<p>Not a single student had been standing on the schoolyard down below and at first, Marinette was confused as to why – but of course. Class had started already – she had completely lost track of time.</p>
<p>No wonder Adrien had been so worried about her.</p>
<p>Silently, he lead her over to a few benches and then he stopped and-and he was beaming at her, brighter than the sun and she started blushing again and</p>
<p>“<em>So much for being over him</em>”, she thought – before saying.</p>
<p>“Uh, thanks for helping me out?”</p>
<p>She was smiling shyly <em>and blushing again</em>. And Adrien gave her his ever radiant, <em>real</em> smile in return that blinded her and stole her breath and almost drove tears into her eyes.</p>
<p>“Of course! Anything for you!”, he exclaimed, stepping closer and snatching her hands – starring right into her eyes.</p>
<p>It almost felt as if he was trying to say something. But Marinette was too distracted to pay much attention.</p>
<p>He had gorgeous eyes.</p>
<p>He really had.</p>
<p>Marinette was, quite literally, star-struck and after a few minutes of her not saying anything, Adrien started to become worried.</p>
<p>“Do you – want to stay here and rest?”, he asked, watching her sympathetically and Marinette hated it because she didn’t want his pity. For all the times she had desperately tried to get his attention, she had never wanted his pity.</p>
<p>But it felt - felt <em>right</em> nonetheless. Warm and fuzzy and soft and she could feel her shoulders relax.</p>
<p>“That’d be great”, she whispered.</p>
<p>She only stood for a few more seconds before collapsing into the bench. It only took a few seconds for Adrien to slide over and to put a comforting arm around her.</p>
<p>It felt nice. She was blushing again. But his arm felt nice and she was tired and already, she could feel her eyes slip closed-</p>
<p>They knew her name. They knew <em>Ladybug’s </em>name.</p>
<p>And they shouldn’t.</p>
<p>Marinette awoke half an hour later, Adrien still holding her, peacefully resting next to her, a soft smile adorning his features.</p>
<p>She didn’t dare to wake him. And really – school was almost over anyway, so would a few seconds more really hurt?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>.o.O.o.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Marinette didn't make it back to class that day – not for the lesson, anyway. Just before the bell rang, they made it back to the classroom to apologize to Madame Bustier, who smiled sympathetically.</p>
<p>“I’ve heard what happens – Monsieur Damocles has reprimanded the students responsible and, hopefully, they won’t bother you anymore.”</p>
<p>Then she excused both of them and Adrien and Marinette took their leave.</p>
<p>Their way to the stairs had been awkward. Marinette hadn’t been sure what to say and Adrien was making weird jokes all the way until they had to see each other off.</p>
<p>It had almost felt as if he were trying to flirt.</p>
<p>Marinette didn’t want him to flirt with her. Anytime but now. Anytime but now she would have blushed and stammered and then called Alya to tell her all about this latest development.</p>
<p>Today it was nothing but awkward.</p>
<p>But nothing beat the awkwardness that engulfed her when she met up with Kagami that day. They had had their juice meeting once again and-</p>
<p>It almost felt as if Kagami was analyzing her. Which wouldn’t be all too strange, considering everything.</p>
<p>“It’s great to see you again, Marinette. I am glad to find you are in good health”, she eventually said.</p>
<p>It made Marinette smile. And it successfully broke the ice. Things between them had been a tad awkward ever since the picnic at the Seine – but Marinette was glad they remained friends. Kagami could be awkward and weird, but she was great, too – she had made an amazing Ryuko! – and Marinette didn’t want to lose anymore than she already had.</p>
<p>“I’m glad, too. For you! I mean, to see you in good health! I’m glad your mother let you meet me and – uh, thank you for letting us use your garden?”</p>
<p>They hadn’t met at their usual meetup spot – Kagami had pointed out that they’d never be left alone if they did and instead suggested they met at her place – she could buy the juice for them and they could enjoy it in her family’s gardens.</p>
<p>It had been an amazing idea.</p>
<p>Kagami’s place war drop-dead gorgeous and the inner designer in Marinette squealed in glee when Kagami asked her whether she wanted to be shown around the house later.</p>
<p>But not right now. Right now, they were drinking juice and talking and doing everything friends usually did – Marinette took a few jabs at Kagami, Kagami proudly pointed out that she had gotten much better at detecting playful banter and sarcasm and together they took great fun in talking about the newest Jagged Stone single that had been released.</p>
<p>Until all of that – faded away, for a few, tense moments.</p>
<p>“They’re all supportive!”, Marinette exclaimed, excitedly waving her hands:”I-I couldn’t have better friends than you guys! Just yesterday Adrien...”</p>
<p>And she trailed off.</p>
<p>Bit her lip.</p>
<p>Adrien.</p>
<p>She shouldn’t have brought him up and from the way Kagami’s gaze hardened, she agreed with that sentiment.</p>
<p>“You-You’re dating, aren’t you?”, Marinette dared to ask, if just to break the silence that had suddenly blanketed itself all around them. She took another slow sip from her juice, eyes trailing the flight of a sparrow.</p>
<p>Kagami took her time to answer.</p>
<p>“I don’t know. Adrien – he’s still hesitant. I thought we were going strong, but then...”</p>
<p>Kagami trailed off, her gaze dodging Marinette’s in a rare display of-of <em>shyness</em>.</p>
<p>“But then?”, Marinette asked, unsure of herself. Kagami was never shy – her whole being screamed boldness and determination. She always was so sure of herself, so confident.</p>
<p>It was why Marinette admired her so much!</p>
<p>“Your identity got revealed to the public. And it just – stopped.”</p>
<p>Kagami took another sip from her orange juice – but it hardly hid the emotions visible in her eyes.</p>
<p>She was hurt. She was terribly hurt and Marinette couldn’t help but let out an embarrassed chuckle, because surely, she couldn’t insinuate that-</p>
<p>“He doesn’t think of me that way, Kagami. You know that – I’m just a friend and he barely knows Ladybug!”, she exclaimed, willing down the unwanted blush sprouting on her cheeks.</p>
<p>“I-I’m sure he’s just shy! You know what Adrien’s like! I’m sure, if you were to tell him, you’ll be able to solve this-this mess!”</p>
<p>Marinette tried her best to smile. It may hurt – but it was the right thing to say.</p>
<p>But Kagami didn’t seem to believe a single word she said.</p>
<p>“You don't pay enough attention.”</p>
<p>Her tone was neither scolding nor amused – but cold and calculated, as if she were merely pointing out.</p>
<p>“He looks at you all the time and his eyes get soft whenever he does. He’s clearly in love with you, Marinette.”</p>
<p>Kagami grabbed her juice and took another sip, expression unreadable – Marinette deflated.</p>
<p>“Oh.”</p>
<p>She snatched her juice as well, mirroring the Japanese's actions.</p>
<p>“I-I’m sorry.”</p>
<p>She was. She-She had tried to move on! She <em>had</em> moved on! She had tried to shake her shot and chickened out and Kagami deserved to be happy.</p>
<p>And so did Adrien!</p>
<p>She hadn’t wanted to come in between them. Ever. She had been happy, even!</p>
<p>And, most importantly – she didn’t want to lose Kagami’s friendship. She was important to her, she cared <em>so much</em> and-she was bound to be mad. Bound to scold her and tell her how disappointed she was that Marinette would do something like this, that she’d betray her like this – but Kagami said none of that.</p>
<p>Instead her eyes softened – and then she reached out for her hand.</p>
<p>“No matter what happens, Marinette”, she said:”You are my friend. If Adrien decides he likes you more – I will accept defeat and move on, the way you were ready to do the same for me.”</p>
<p>And she smiled – that weird, fake smile and Marinette tried to swallow the queasy feeling in her stomach, because – for all the time she had wanted his attention, this-</p>
<p>It felt wrong. It felt so, so wrong.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>.o.O.o.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The next day at school was confusing. Marinette had directly teleported into her classroom again – at least the one positive thing she had gotten out of the ordeal was that she was never late for class – and she was one of the first to arrive.</p>
<p>She didn’t like transforming in front of people.</p>
<p>She was one of the first again – only Nathaniel, Chloé and Sabrina were there yet, and none of them paid her much attention when she arrived, Nataniel too engrossed in his current drawing and Chloé making a point out of ignoring any superhero stuff she encountered.</p>
<p>But eventually, the room filled up – and, for some reason, all the girls seemed to be rather tense today. Alya shied away whenever Marinette tried to ask what was going on and she felt as if people were watching her very move, even more so than usual.</p>
<p>And then the girls came over. One by one and Marinette raised her eyebrow in question.</p>
<p>Something was off. Suspiciously off. It wasn’t the first time the girls had formed a semicircle around her desk – far from it – but she couldn’t imagine any reason for them to be doing that now – especially with such grave expressions that they were spotting.</p>
<p>Rose was the first to speak.</p>
<p>“You-You should apologize!”, she squeaked, her shoulders pulled up to her ears as if she were trying to hide.</p>
<p>“You should apologize to Lila for what you said!”</p>
<p>Oh. So that was what this was about.</p>
<p>The other girls around Rose murmured in agreement´- though Alya refused to meet her eyes and was biting her lips.</p>
<p>“I know everything is super stressful for you right now – but Lila was just trying to be nice! We know how much you admire Jagged Stone – all Lila was trying to do was to give you some pleasant news!”</p>
<p>Marinette frowned. Just what had Lila told them?</p>
<p>“There was no reason to be so rude!”, Myléne chimed in and the other girls nodded along – with the exception of Alya, who seemed – unhappy.</p>
<p>She refused to meet Marinette’s gaze and Marinette couldn’t help but wonder whether, perhaps, she should have a talk with Alya.</p>
<p>She probably should.</p>
<p>Not that it mattered – Marinette could feel Lila's cold stare on her back, making the hairs on her neck rise and an unwanted image of crocodile tears and fake sobs.</p>
<p>“You have to apologize!”</p>
<p>And now, everyone was looking at her expectantly and now, she could feel Lila’s<em> evil grin </em>burning holes into her back.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>No.</p>
<p>She wasn't going to give her the satisfaction.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m not going to”, Marinette said, steeling herself for the outrage that was surely to follow.</p>
<p>“What?” “Marinette!” “But – you’re Ladybug!” “How could you say something like that?!” “Lila’s our friend, just because you don’t like her, doesn't mean you get to be mean to her!”</p>
<p>
  <em>She wasn’t going to give Lila the satisfaction.</em>
</p>
<p>“I’m not going to apologize – I don’t know what happened, according to Lila, but all I did was to decline Lila’s offer – I’m sorry if Lila thought of what I said as offensive, but I’m not going to put every word I say on a golden scale to see how it could possibly affect her.”</p>
<p>And then, Marinette turned around and left.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Maybe she shouldn’t have been so harsh – maybe she should have chosen her words more carefully, maybe she should have just apologized instead of being petty – maybe Rose wouldn’t have gotten akumatized then.</p>
<p>But Marinette hadn’t and Rose had and it left a foul taste in her mouth.</p>
<p>Still...it could have been just a coincidence, right?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>. O .</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Marinette was ever thankful for her Lucky Charm – because the next Akuma attack, er parent’s bakery had been completely leveled.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>. O .</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Marinette felt exhausted. After the reprieve of the past few weeks without close to no Akuma attacks at all, Hawkmoth seemed to try and set a new record for most akumatized victims in a week.</p>
<p>It had been hell.</p>
<p>People were already speculating already – she was sick of every headline declaring her mentally unstable, sick of all those people worrying about a possible akumatization.</p>
<p>So sick of people asking whether she had a backup plan-</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>(-though they were right, she </em>should<em> have a back-up plan, she really, really should and-)</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>They were on her balcony once again.</p>
<p>She refused to meet his gaze for the longest of time.</p>
<p>Chat wondered, whether he should be on the lookout for Akuma once again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Chat, I-I need to talk to you."</p>
<p>“What is it, Marinette?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Chat's ears pressed themselves flat against his head.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>His tail started too agitatedly swish behind, curling around anything that got too close.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You-You can tell me anything, Marinette, you know that, right? No more secrets between the two of us, right? Except for my identity, I guess.”</p>
<p>He was biting his lip now, very much wanting to get down on all fours to run circles around her. He wanted to purr to comfort her – but then she turned to him.</p>
<p>And smiled.</p>
<p>It didn’t reach her eyes, but she was trying.</p>
<p>Chat let himself smile too, his eyes softening again, his ears jumping back up again. She was trying. That was all that mattered, that she was trying and that she kept trying.</p>
<p>He wasn’t blind. He had seen what the past week had done to her – but she was trying.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>She was trying.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Marinette forced her smile to widen – and it softened when she noticed Chat’s nervousness. Carefully, sh moved her hand to hover of his, before she tentatively interlaced their fingers, her eyes furrowed in concentration.</p>
<p>Chat’s breath hitched at the action and he desperately tried to control the blush he could feel spreading across his cheeks.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>Now wasn’t the time</em>.</p>
<p><em>She didn’t mean it like that</em>.</p>
<p>
  <em>She was looking for comfort.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You’re the most important person in my life, you know that, right Chat?”</p>
<p>His eyes lit up in pure delight.</p>
<p>“The most important?”, he asked excitedly and the way he was <em>preening</em> at her words made Marinette giggle in glee.</p>
<p>“Well, maybe not as important as my parents – but you're my best friend. Never doubt that, alright?”</p>
<p>Chat preened even more at those words, his tail swishing still, but slower and more purposeful than it had before. Sometimes, it went as far as reaching out to her, happily wrapping itself around her calf or arm, before retreating, as if embarrassed by what it had done.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Her parents bakery had been flattened – she knew people had been inside when it had happened.</p>
<p>“You’re my best friend, too, Maribug”, he said – and he-he was smiling so happily and excited and-and-</p>
<p>Marinette deflated. And so did Chat, once he noticed the way her mood swung once again. It made her stomach churn. It made her want to tear up.</p>
<p>Chat deserved better than this. But her parents bakery had been flattened.</p>
<p>He had to understand eventually.</p>
<p>“I-I know you said “no” already and – not that that doesn’t mean anything, because of your opinion matters to me, very much so, but I was wondering, if maybe you've changed your mind and...”</p>
<p>“Marinette, you don’t need to be so worried. What is it?”</p>
<p>“Could...” <em>She stopped and she knew she was going to lie to him right now</em>. “Could you help me with making some potions? Maybe, if we both know it’s safer in the long run!”</p>
<p>Chat agreed and they made the Power-Ups – not a single thing went wrong. And when she asked him if he could come over again tomorrow so they could make some more, <em>Chat happily</em><em> agreed and </em><em>excitedly</em><em> smiled at her.</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>A</em><em>nd it </em>hurt.</p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This story is in no way meant to be an “Anti-Adrinette” story – I ship the entire lovesquare, although my favorite ship is MariChat. That being said, I hope everyone understands why Marinette in this story feels the way she does and why Adrien acts the way he does. This is not meant to throw shade at any character, it is simply how I imagine the characters would behave in this situation.</p>
<p>Please leave a comment if you enjoyed!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>“How far, do you think, will my grudge carry me?”</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This and the next two chapters don’t follow chronological order – most of the scenes are occurring at roughly the same time, but explore different aspects of the story.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>oOoOo</p><p>.</p><p>Forget me not (because I will)</p><p>.</p><p>oOoOo</p><p> </p><p>“Lila isn’t Ladybug’s best friend, is she?”</p><p>Alya might have phrased her words as a question when she slipped into the seat next to Marinette, but both of them knew it was a statement.</p><p>They were sitting in their classroom – today her parents had given her some pastries for lunch that she was hoping to share with the rest of the gang – Marinette long having given up on entering the common lunch room or lounging outside in the park. Interest had started to wane over the past few days – but Marinette preferred her lunch breaks to be interruption free.</p><p>Nervously, Alya started to fiddle with the strap of her bag.</p><p>“I’m Ladybug. You’re my best friend. No, she isn’t.”</p><p>Marinette bit into her pastry, swallowing hard as she tried to ignore the feelings that were bubbling up in her stomach. It was equal parts anxiety and excitement and Marinette hated herself for it be-because – she-she shouldn’t-</p><p> </p><p><em>(she shouldn’t, she </em>didn’t<em>!)</em></p><p> </p><p>-feel happy about-about-</p><p>Lila had hurt her. Lila had hurt her and Alya had hurt her and all her other classmates had hurt her – but Marinette shouldn’t be happy. She shouldn’t feel happy that they were finally having this conversation.</p><p>It was Alya who broke the silence first – she unclenched her fists, then she let go of her bag’s strap – and then she spoke up.</p><p>“I’m sorry.”</p><p>“For what?”</p><p>“For-For everything. I should have – I don’t know, I – I should have fact-checked what she said. What Lila said.”</p><p>Alya took a deep breath.</p><p>“I should have looked more into the things she claimed – I’m a journalist, for crying out loud! – and…”</p><p>She bit her lip and finally let her bag fall to the floor.</p><p>“I should have believed you. I shouldn’t have written your concern off as simple jealousy – I should have listened. And taken them into consideration. But I didn’t and-and for that I’m sorry.”</p><p>Marinette took another bite from her lunch, swallowing hard once again.</p><p>She should – but she <em>shouldn’t </em>at the same time and-and why did this have to be such a mess?!</p><p>“I was jealous, you know?”, she eventually said, not daring to face her friend – if she had, she might have noticed the flabbergasted way Alya looked at her.</p><p>“I – It wasn’t just jealousy, of course! Not just that! But-But I was jealous, too. I-”</p><p>Her cheeks started to flush from shame.</p><p>“I actually followed Adrien and her one her first day, because-”</p><p>Marinette trailed off, hanging her head at the sheer <em>weight</em> of the admission Why <em>had</em> she followed them? It had made sense in that moment.</p><p>“I really shouldn't have done that. I really, really shouldn’t.”</p><p>It didn’t make a whole lot of sense now – it probably hadn’t made a whole lot of sense back then either.</p><p>The silence engulfed them once again – and once again it was Alya who broke it, because for all her faults, she <em>was</em> her best friend and-and she was never once to sit in silence and to panic.</p><p>““Was”, huh?””, she asked, grinning slyly, as she nudged Marinette humorously.</p><p>“Not anymore, huh? Any chance that a certain cat managed to change your mind?”</p><p>Marinette blushed, entirely unwillingly.</p><p>“No.”</p><p>That was a lie. That was a huge, fat lie. Her entire face was burning and Alya was <em>guaranteed</em> to notice.</p><p>Marinette tried to hide her head in her arms – to no avail. Not that it mattered though, because Alya already wasn’t looking at her anymore, instead choosing to press her lips together and to share at her nails.</p><p>“Is it because of Adrien?”</p><p>Marinette didn’t dignify the question with an answer.</p><p>“You-You know he’s dating Kagami, right?”</p><p>“Of course.”</p><p>They weren’t. Kagami had told her so herself – just like she had told her about their first date and then apologized, saying she hadn’t wanted to make her feel bad but Marinette had simply smiled through the pain.</p><p>But that shouldn’t matter.</p><p>It <em>didn’t </em>matter.</p><p>And anyway, Marinette was too busy to care for romance anyway <strike>(and too traumatized by a blank sky and flooded world)</strike>.</p><p>They didn’t talk for a while.</p><p>“Why did you never call her out, though?”</p><p>Alya’s eyebrows were knitted together now – before she started to wildly flail her hands in front of her, as she immediately back-pedalled.</p><p>“Not that any of this is your fault! It’s mine! Only mine, it was my responsibility to fact check, of course!”</p><p>Alya was flailing her hands now, her cheeks blushing ever-so lightly and for a few moments, Marinette was reminded of herself.</p><p>“But...”</p><p>“But?”</p><p>Alya bit her lips, shyly glancing away – she was doing that quite often recently and Marinette didn’t like that, because Alya was anything but shy.</p><p>“But – why did you never say anything? As Ladybug? We – We knew each other, after all – you remember that one private interview you...”</p><p>Alya trailed off as realization dawned – and Marinette chuckled. There were probably a lot of things that made a whole lot more sense now, that everyone knew her identity.</p><p>With glowing cheeks, Alya cleared her throat, her eyes glowing with gratefulness – until it was substituted with a guilty consciousness once more.</p><p>“Why did you never tell me about Lila’s lies? I would have taken that video down without any questions asked!”</p><p>“I did call her out – in front of Adrien, actually. It was the first time she ever got akumatized.”</p><p>“So you thought it wasn’t worth it?”</p><p>“I thought it’d be weird for Ladybug to seemingly care that much about it – and anyway, I...”</p><p>Marinette trailed off, before shaking her head.</p><p>“Yeah. It probably wasn’t really worth it and – I just kind of thought people would catch on to her lies by themselves?”</p><p>She wished people <em>would</em> have caught onto the lies. It-it would have saved her so much pain</p><p>“Her lies they – they were so ludicrous! They didn't make sense for the most part – she’s 15! Like us! I just – I never understood how they could believe all those big lies about getting people private meetings and all that stuff, when all those famous people would definitely be way too busy to just spend an entire day with a student in college!”</p><p>Accusingly, Marinette turned to Alya – Alya, her best friend, one of the people she would trust with <em>everything</em> (except for her secret identity, but that didn’t really count, did it?) hadn’t noticed – had instead branded her as “jealous” and-</p><p>Well. She <em>had</em> been jealous.</p><p>Marinette tuned back – she just wanted this conversation to be over with already – honestly, Lila’s empty threats were so much more comfortable than – than this.</p><p>“It – Look, if she lied about one thing – the big one, with the big names and all the connections she promised – then it would call into question everything else she said and – I didn’t want to believe that. I <em>couldn’t. </em>I just couldn’t believe that everything – her life story, our friendship – was supposedly just one big lie. It was just so much easier to believe her – because then all of that would still hold up, you know?”</p><p>Yeah. Of course she knew.</p><p>She might have been the same if Alya hadn’t chosen that one specific lie that exposed her for Marinette.</p><p>It was a scary thought, really.</p><p>“Will you expose her now? Tear down that castle of lie?”</p><p>Marinette shrugged.</p><p>“I don’t think so – but I won’t lie if people start asking questions either.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>.O.</p><p> </p><p>Juleka promised to talk to Rose. The shy goth was the first to approach Marinette, eyes cast down and hooded by dark circles.</p><p>Whether that was due to a bad consciousness or simply because it was her personal style was still up in the air.</p><p>Marinette never completely understood what Juleka mubled, but it sounded like an apology and a promise and that was enough for her.</p><p> </p><p>.O.</p><p> </p><p>Myléne approached her, accompanied by Ivan. It was similar to Juleka – an apology, a promise to be better – and a sweet little beaded bracelet, that spelled her name – her real name, Marinette – and the word “amazing”.</p><p>It made her tear up, that time and Marinette wore it for the rest of the day.</p><p> </p><p>.O.</p><p> </p><p>Alix never talked to her directly, but Kim did.</p><p>“Is it true?”, he asked during lunch at some point – Marinette still camped out in their classroom – Madame Bustier had given her a spare key, explaining it was probably for the best if Marinette could lock the door, just in case, and anyway – she was trusted with the entire city already anyway.</p><p>“Is it true that Lila is a liar?”</p><p>Kim stopped what he was doing – in this case trying to stack as many paper hats on top of his head as possible – worriedly eyeing Marinette.</p><p>Marinette shrugged.</p><p>She didn’t really want to have this talk – it was getting on her nerves by now.</p><p>“She is. She lied about being my best friend and she definitely lied on the day I got expelled.”</p><p>“Oh. Well, Alix said something along the lines of that.”</p><p>Both of them fell silent for a while – Kim busy trying to stack more paper hats and Marinette using the quiet to get some homework done – it almost felt like Hawkmoth knew her schedule, with all the interruptions she was currently experiencing.</p><p>He probably did.</p><p>He probably knew so much more as well.</p><p>Eventually, Kim dropped his hats and when he had picked them up again he asked:”Do you think she lied about knowing Michael Phelps, too?”</p><p>He sounded almost <em>shy</em> when he asked and it gave Marinette whiplash because Kim? Shy?</p><p>It simply didn’t fit.</p><p>“She-She promised me she’d try and get him to give me a private swimming lesson at some point...”</p><p>Marinette wanted to laugh at that. She really, really wanted to because – it sounded so ridiculous. Michael Phelps? Private swimming lesson?</p><p>“I don’t know if she lied about that, Kim – but she probably did.”</p><p> </p><p>.O.</p><p> </p><p>Rose – Rose got akumatized.</p><p>Marinette felt incredibly sorry for her – it was the second time she had gotten akumaitzed because of Lila and she deserved none of it. It wasn’t her fault that Lila had lied. It wasn’t her fault that she wanted everyone to be good and-</p><p>It was so unfair of Hawkmoth to take advantage of her feelings like that.</p><p>Especially because of the aftermath-</p><p>
  <em>(It was always so much more painful when a friend had gotten akumatized and – it had to be a coincidence.)</em>
</p><p>-the way Rose was almost <em>begging</em> for her forgiveness.</p><p>“There isn’t anything to forgive. You did nothing wrong.”</p><p>“There-There is! I should have controlled myself better! You-You have so much on your plate already and then-then I go and get akumatized over something that-that I have no right to be mad about in the first place!”</p><p>Marinette didn't answer immediately – because Rose was right.</p><p>To a certain extent.</p><p>She had gotten mad at her, <em>had been</em> mad at her for an entire day, because Marinette hadn’t apologized for something she supposedly did, <em>even though</em> it had been clear as the day that not everything Lila said could have been right. Although <em>everyone</em> should have known to at least call <em>some</em> things into question.</p><p>But Rose hadn’t. Instead, she had gotten mad at her and made her life even more bothersome than it was.</p><p>“It’s alright, Rose. You-You aren’t in control when you are akumatized.”</p><p>But Rose shook her head.</p><p>“It’s not about the akumatization – I just – I feel terrible. For the way I treated you when I wasn’t – when you got expelled, or after you talked to Lila or – well – whenever she was there, really...”</p><p>Rose bit her lip – before taking a deep breath and grabbing something from her.</p><p>“I know it’s not a lot – but I made you a flower crown! I – It doesn’t really make up for what I did, but – if you ever need anything else, something I can help with, please tell me? I-I will try to get better! I really will!”</p><p>And Rose handed Marinette the flower crown – it must have been handwoven and was pretty as the day – the delicate petals just the slightest bit crunched up.</p><p>“Thanks, Rose. It means a lot to me.”</p><p> </p><p>.O.</p><p> </p><p>Marinette found Lila sitting on the stairs outside of school – and she almost hadn’t joined her, but she didn’t spot anyone else loitering around.</p><p>Most people seemed to avoid Lila these days.</p><p>Marinette stood behind the door for a while, simply staring at the other girl, seemingly just having finished her lunch.</p><p>She was only half-way through the door, when Lila spoke up.</p><p>“What do you want?”</p><p>Lila didn’t turn around at her question, which lead to the question-</p><p>“How do you know it’s me?”</p><p>Lila didn’t answer and Marinette – for a few, silent moments just stood there, wondering what she was supposed to do.</p><p>She hadn’t planed for this to happen, but it was entirely her own fault. But it felt like she had to talk to her, for some reason.</p><p>It didn’t make a whole lot of sense.</p><p>Marinette stepped closer.</p><p>“How-How are you feeling?”</p><p>“I don’t know – what would you feel like if someone goody-two-shoes takes away all your friends, Marinette?”</p><p>Finally she turned around, her expression blank, although her voice was dripping with acid – and Marinette felt her own mood sour.</p><p>Why was she even here to begin with?</p><p>“I didn’t take your friends away – that was all your doing!”</p><p>“You didn't have to tell anyone about my – my stories! You could have just let it go!”</p><p>“And you didn't need to lie about anything!”</p><p>Lila flinched at that – then she got up, screwing up the paper bag she was holding.</p><p>“You didn't have to lie! You could have made friends on your own!”, Marinette further accused. Emboldened by her own words, she stepped forwards, her own hands curled into fists – and Lila flinched once again.</p><p>Then she turned away.</p><p>“Yeah. Because it’s <em>that</em> easy, of course”, she hissed, her knuckles white from all the pressure she was putting on them.</p><p>“Because it’s all so easy to do no bad and to be universally loved by everyone – not everyone’s as lucky as you are, Marinette!”</p><p>Then, Lila ran away.</p><p> </p><p>.O.</p><p> </p><p>The next time Marinette spotted Lila, two days had passed.</p><p>This time, when Marinette came over, it was entirely purposely.</p><p>“Hey, Lila”, she said, when she spotted the Italian sitting alone at a lunch table again – in clear view of everyone else.</p><p>Marinette was shaking as she walked over, almost expecting people to loudly scream her name and to demand an autograph – but for now, everyone just seemed to wait with bated breath.</p><p>Marinette wished their conversation could be more private. Lila deserved better than to be stared at like some alien – and so did she.</p><p>But she was here already</p><p>“How are you feeling?”</p><p>“Good. And I don’t need your pity.”</p><p>Marinette sat down.</p><p>They stared at each other.</p><p>Marinette was shaking still – unable to find the words she was looking for.</p><p>She had a plan.</p><p>She had a <em>plan</em>.</p><p>“What do you want? Are you hoping your “good example” will make other people come over like some stupid high school movie?”</p><p>Surprisingly, Lila’S words soothed Marinette’s shaking.</p><p>She was rude. She was just a rude, lonely, lying girl-</p><p>
  <em>She shouldn't be scared.</em>
</p><p>Marinette started shaking again, but this time, she managed to raise her hands and to open her fist, revealing the trinket she had desperately clutched mere seconds before.</p><p>“I made this for you”, Marinette said and Lila actually raised an eyebrow at that, opening her own hand to receive whatever gift Marinette had made her.7</p><p>Murmurs erupted within the cafeteria – Lila frowned.</p><p>“...Why are you giving this to me?”, she asked, staring down at the bracelet in her hands. It was black and orange and Marinette hoped she'd like it – she had chosen the colours to match her, after all.</p><p>“It’s a lucky charm!”</p><p>Lila rolled her eyes and let out a huff that sounded snarkier than it had any right to be.</p><p>“You said not everyone's as lucky as me in life – and you're right! But – I want you to know people care about you – even after everything that happened. And maybe – maybe this lucky charm will help you be a bit more lucky?”</p><p>Forcing herself to smile, Marinette extended a hand towards Lila, desperately telling herself <em>not</em> to flinch should she take it.</p><p>She felt silly after a while, when Lila simply stared at her with a blank expression.</p><p>Marinette took her hand back.</p><p>They stared at each other for a bit longer – until Lila averted her gaze, her formerly blank expression morphing into an almost violently angry as she jumped up, glaring at Marinette’s scathingly.</p><p>Her expression might have been filled with hatred, but her voice was filled with unshed tears.</p><p>“I don’t need your pity<em>, </em><em>L</em><em>adybug</em> – I don’t need anyone’s pity! Give me a week – maybe a month and all of you – every single one of you – will <em>beg</em> me to accept you back into my arms!”</p><p>Lila left without saying anything else, but neither did she give the Lucky Charm back, nor did she get akumatized after their conversation.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>(A few months later, she brought Tiramisu into class, handing it out to everyone and Marinette frowned at the weird way she introduced it.</em>
</p><p>“<em>It’s a recipe taught to me by a famous Italian Five – By my grandmother. It’s- It’s a family recipe.”)</em></p><hr/><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Should I add “Lila” redemption to the tags? I wasn’t planning on including it, but this chapter felt unfinished without Marinette and Lila talking as well.</p><p>Please leave a comment if you enjoyed the chapter!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter 13</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>How often can a heart be broken?</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>oOoOo</p>
<p>.</p>
<p>Forget me not (because I will)</p>
<p>.</p>
<p>oOoOo</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They were preparing potions – or rather, Marinette was preparing potions and Chat was carefully watching her, curious eyes following her every movement – silently.</p>
<p>When Marinette had said she needed “tears of laughter”, he had started punning and even though Marinette had blushed at his antics and was <em>clearly</em> smiling, she had threatened to kick him out if he didn’t stop.</p>
<p>They had fallen into companionable silence afterwards, with Chat sometimes speaking up to ask a question – but for the most part they stayed silent.</p>
<p>It was nice.</p>
<p>Spending time with Chat was always nice.</p>
<p>She recalled the conversation she had had a Alya that day and tried her best to keep herself from blushing – Chat truly was the best partner she could have ever wished for.</p>
<p>Eventually, they started talking again – small talk, about the Akumatizations, about the times they needed them and then-</p>
<p>“My favorite Akumatization is Mr. Pigeon, I think”, Chat mused, as he dutifully stirred the pot.</p>
<p>“He’s easy to defeat and always gives us ice cream afterwards – we hardly need to use our abilities anymore!”</p>
<p>Chat chuckled, his tails humorously wrapping itself around his wrist, just to be shaken off by an annoyed “humpf”. Marinette watched the interaction for a few silent moments – before she started to shake form silent laughter as the tail wrapped itself around her wrist, Chat’s expression overly sourly.</p>
<p>“Ha ha, just keep laughing and see where that gets you!”</p>
<p>“But Chat, we still need that tear of laughter!”</p>
<p>“Uh-huh – don’t want to <em>tear</em> into your reserves just yet, huh? I can <em>tail </em>you’re trying to save them.”</p>
<p>“No puns, Chat, or I will kick you out.”</p>
<p>Now it was Chat who was shaking from laughter and Marinette shooting an overdone look at him, until that dissolved into smiles as well.</p>
<p>“Pray tell, Chat – what’s you <em>least</em> favorite Akumatization?”</p>
<p>“Oh no, princess – it’s your turn. I answered that last question.”</p>
<p>Expectantly, Chat leaned over to her, his eyes more curious than they perhaps should be – and Marinette let her vision grow blurred as she thought of a good answer.</p>
<p>“Chloé”, she eventually said.</p>
<p>“Chloé?"</p>
<p>“Miracle Queen – I keep thinking, if I had trusted her more, that, you know – maybe she wouldn’t have turned on us? We-We wouldn’t be in this mess anymore, Master Fu would still be here, we’d still have our allies – And look at Chloé! She’s – well, she’s not perfect, but she’s doing just fine!”</p>
<p>Chat smiled at that – in a weird, familiar way, with the smile’s softness and the way he got crinkles around his eyes…</p>
<p>Marinette was blushing now.</p>
<p>She turned away to look over the city.</p>
<p>“Yeah, you’re right – she’s – Chloé is doing better. She hasn’t caused an Akumatization for quite some time now!”</p>
<p>Marinette nodded along. Chloé wasn’t nice – she was brash and harsh and didn’t care much for anyone’s feelings, but she toned down her temper a bit and it showed.</p>
<p>Chloé had grown so much – she would have been an excellent Queen Bee.</p>
<p>It was her fault she wasn’t.</p>
<p>“Hm – anyway”, Marinette murmured, trying to shake off her guilty consciousness:”Weirdest Akumatization? One that you never fully understood?”</p>
<p>Chat fell silent for a few moments.</p>
<p>“Mine was – I think it’s Mr. Pigeon again. It just doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to me, you know? I mean, Pigeons? Really?”</p>
<p>Chat nodded at her words, but didn’t answer still. It made Marinette shift uncomfortably and made her regretting asking the question.</p>
<p>It had only soured Chat’s mood – she knew by the way his tail started lashing out behind him, the way suddenly that-that that <em>chat-glint – </em>that never failed to cheer her up was missing from his eyes – the way his smile slowly fell-</p>
<p>It was the missing glint in his eyes. That was what threw her off.</p>
<p>“Hey, Maribug...”, Chat mumbled eventually – and from the way his voice was barely a whisper, Marinette was convinced it was going to be painful.</p>
<p>“Remember Weredad? When-When you confessed?”</p>
<p>Wer...Oh.</p>
<p>That.</p>
<p>That didn't make a whole lot of sense anymore, did it?</p>
<p>“I-I was wondering whether-why? Why did you confess? Just a second earlier you shot me down and you knew I loved you as Ladybug and-and was it a test? Did you want to see what I thought of your civilian self? Did-Did you mean it?”</p>
<p>In that moment, Chat looked at her with such hopeful eyes, that she was tempted to just say yes.</p>
<p>But she didn’t. He’d never forgive her if she did.</p>
<p>“Chat, I-No.”</p>
<p>His ears drooped. Marinette felt terrible. She could barely bring herself to finish her explanation.</p>
<p>“When you dropped in on my balcony I-I panicked. I thought you were going to say I was Ladybug and-and I just said the first thing that came to my mind that would distract you from that thought.”</p>
<p>Chat had now averted his gaze completely, choosing to stare a Paris’ skyline instead. Marinette’s shoulders slumped and she bit her lip. He wasn’t supposed to ever find out about it.</p>
<p>“So...you didn’t mean it?”</p>
<p>There was a hint of bitterness in his voice and Marinette couldn't blame him. If the roles were reversed, she’d be bitter too.</p>
<p>“I-You know I like someone else, Chat.”</p>
<p>The words were achingly familiar, yet they felt so wrong.</p>
<p>Of course she liked that stupid cat. How could she not? But she could never say that out loud. And thus, almost as an afterthought, Marinette added “Even if I did, it wouldn’t matter...”</p>
<p>She wasn’t sure whether Chat had heard her or not – but that didn’t matter either.</p>
<p>None of the things she felt right now did and none of the things that were felt towards her did. Because Chat and her would never – ever work out.</p>
<p>They couldn’t. There was an ocean and a sky between any chance of them every getting into a relationship.</p>
<p>“Hey, how about we stop making these potions for now – and instead I teach you about the language? From the book?”<br/><br/>Marinette plastered a grin on her face – but to no avail.</p>
<p>Chat simply raised an eyebrow at her.</p>
<p>“The language? But – whyever would I need to know the language?”</p>
<p>Marinette’s grin started to freeze – she desperately hoped she was good enough of a liar to pull this one of.</p>
<p>Just how far had she fallen to ever think something as despicable as this?</p>
<p>“Uh – why not? It-it can only be advantageous, right? What-What if I get sick and – I – and you might have to translate something! Just imagine!”</p>
<p>For a few, tense minutes, Chat simply scrutinized her and Marinette shifted uncomfortably under his intense gaze – but then, his face broke out into one of his Cheshire-grins-</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>(the ones that always made her heart speed up.)</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Will I get more pastries, if I come inside?”</p>
<p>Marinette laughed.</p>
<p>“Of course! Anything for you, kitty.”</p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>You see, when I said double update this week, what I really meant was “Accept this one scene I’ve had written up for two months now but never knew where to place as a second chapter”.</p>
<p>I hope you enjoyed, if you did, please leave a comment ^^</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Chapter 14</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>“How can a few simple words feel me with so much dread?”</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I made myself cry while writing this chapter – though “Arcade” (by Duncan Lawrence) helped set the mood and greatly helped.</p><p>In conclusion, if you want to set the mood, listen to “Arcade” by Duncan Lawrence.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>oOoOo<br/>
.</p><p> </p><p>Forget me not (because I will)</p><p><em>.<br/>
</em>oOoOo</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>„Marinette?”</p><p>It was the end of class and already, most her classmates had filtered out through the doors – Marinette liked to stay back.</p><p>Her novelty had worn off already – slowly, steadily – but she much preferred to avoid the usual rush.</p><p>Alya had left already, too.</p><p>“<em>A doctor’s appointment – I’m sorry, Marinette – will you be alright without me?”</em></p><p>Marinette had agreed, cheerfully at that – she was going to be just fine – and she greatly regertted her choice but a mere minutes later.</p><p>“Marinette, I need to talk to you.“</p><p>Marinette dreaded those words as she made her way downstairs – though they were to be expected.</p><p>Curse Hawkmoth. Curse whatever intel told him about her schedule and-and – Marinette knew that was wrong, because they were called Akuma <em>Victims</em> – curse the four people that had gotten akumatized yesterday night.</p><p>It had been hell. Yesterday or this morning, it didn’t matter.</p><p>Utter hell.</p><p>Nervously biting her lip, Marinette walked down the last few steps, her eyes flitting to and from the door – before facing her teacher.</p><p>Better get this over with.</p><p>“I-I’m sorry I fell asleep during the test, Madame Bustier”, she said, trying to hold on to any dignity she had.</p><p>She was on the point of falling asleep again already – Madame Bustier deserved better than a student that could barely pay attention in class and then didn’t even bother to pay attention when she was called out for her bad behavior after class.</p><p>Marinette had given it her best, though! She had!</p><p>But coffee just wasn’t cutting it today.</p><p>“But I still answered some questions! It may not be much but it should at least be enough to get a D..?”</p><p>Marinette knew she was grasping at straws. She may have always been a good student, but she had slept through more than half the time of the exam and even before that she had hardly managed to keep her eyes open. It’d be a miracle if she gotten anywhere close to a D.</p><p>But instead of getting mad, Madame Bustier simply smiled sympathetically and put a hand on her student’s shoulder, her eyes soft enough to stop Marinette from biting her lip and to make her look at her teacher once more.</p><p>“That’s exactly what I wanted to talk to you about – it wouldn’t be fair to punish you, just because you had to stay up all night. If you had, instead, decided to sleep through the Akuma, we wouldn’t have been able to have this test at all. So Monsieur Damocles and I have decided to let you take your exams on different days than the others – I doubt that the three Akuma last night were a coincidence.”</p><p>Oh.</p><p>That – That made sense.</p><p>“I’m not sure how we’ll handle this test yet – perhaps we’ll let you re-do it with different exercises or maybe you can make it up with something else – a presentation or essay perhaps. We’re really not sure yet, but we’ll let you know in due time. So don’t worry about today.”</p><p>Madame Bustier took her hand from Marinette shoulders – but kept her soft smile and warm eyes while Marinette processed what she had said.</p><p>An-An essay?</p><p>An essay would be great, actually! No – No interruption! No set times, nothing!</p><p>Marinette felt herself starting to grin (and briefly wondered, whether it made her look like a crazed maniac or not).</p><p>“That’d be great, Madame Bustier! Th-Thank you!”</p><p>Marinette wished she had had that kind of energy during class.</p><p>“I should be the one thanking you – I’m sorry for letting myself get akumatized yesterday...”</p><p>Madame Bustier trailed off and Marinette felt like she should say something – anything! – but she didn’t.</p><p>Because Madame Bustier <em>shouldn’t </em>have let herself get akumatized.</p><p>“Oh, and – if you want, you can go home and sleep for the rest of the day? Until you feel better rested at least – I’ll write you a slip if necessary.”</p><p>That sounded great. Like heaven, actually.</p><p>Sleeping was hard on top of uncomfortable tables.</p><p>Ha. <em>Hard</em>. Because tables were hard.</p><p>Chat would have loved that one.</p><p>“I-I’d like that very much!”, Marinette said, feeling energy rush into her veins.</p><p>She could go home..! She could cuddle into her pillows and covers and happily snore away and-</p><p>“That’d be great. Really, really great.”</p><p>“Very well – I’ll inform your other teachers – sweet dreams, Marinette and – thank you again. Your service means a great deal to all of us.”</p><p>With a nod, Madame Bustier dismissed her and Marinette happily skipped out of the class room, dreaming of warm sheets and-</p><p>She stopped dead in her tracks.</p><p>Adrien was standing there, a cup of coffee in his hands, his other one buried deep in his trouser pockets, seemingly having waited on her.</p><p>He looked downright terrible. Dark circles so deep not even his high-end concealer could, well, conceal them. His hair was a mess and Marinette was pretty sure his shirt was on backwards.</p><p>She wondered how he had managed to get out of the house like this, without his father hounding him.</p><p>Talking to Adrien had been – weird, lately. He behaved differently, so very different and-and it wasn’t in a bad way!</p><p>It was great to see him behave this freely!</p><p>But it was strange (the flirting – the flirting was so strange) and “kind of sus” as Alya had phrased it and-</p><p>He was her friend. A friend who had waited on her and was seemingly feeling terrible and she shouldn’t think ill of him.</p><p>Adrien had never given her a reason to do so.</p><p>“Hey, A-Adrien you okay...”</p><p>Angrily, Marinette shook her head.</p><p>She had to snap out of it.</p><p>“Are you okay? You look miserable.”</p><p>She was smiling now, softly, encouragingly – trying her best to mask her fluttering heart.</p><p>Curse it and it’s wavering affections.</p><p>Adrien seemingly snapped out of his daze – had he been sleeping, standing up? – and his eyes took a few seconds to properly focus on her.</p><p>A small smile graced his lips.</p><p>Her heart started to pound faster.</p><p>Marinette bit down on her cheek.</p><p>“No, no – I – I’m fine”, he said, responding in kind, taking another sip from his coffee and letting his eyes fall closed again in pure bliss.</p><p>“I’m just tired – long night, you know?”</p><p>Long night?</p><p>“Did the Akuma keep you up tonight?”</p><p>Adrien yawed once and took another sip from his coffee.</p><p>“Yup.”</p><p>“Really? Weren’t the Akuma on the other side of Paris, though?”</p><p>They pretty much were – with the exception of the “Whisperer” none of them had been anywhere close to Adrien’s home.</p><p>It seemed her words fully ripped Adrien from whatever daze he had been in, as his eyes shot up and he almost spilled his coffee, catching it just in time.</p><p>“Oh, oh, yes!”</p><p>Was he flustered? Was – Was Adrien Agreste flustered because of <em>her</em> Marinette Dupain-Cheng?</p><p>Shouldn’t the roles be reversed?</p><p>“I – uh – I couldn’t fall asleep! Because, because...”</p><p>His cheeks were turning pink now – he was most definitely flustered.</p><p>Just what had the world come to?</p><p>“I was worried about you”, he eventually said, voice unimaginably soft and – here it was, her own blush.</p><p>The world was whole again.</p><p>Until it wasn’t.</p><p>“You’re <em>purr</em>-ty amazing, did you know?”</p><p>Casually, Adrien leaned against the wall, grinning widely and winking at her once.</p><p>Marinette forced herself to smile as well.</p><p>“That’s – That’s nice of you to say.”</p><p> </p><p>.O.</p><p> </p><p>Akuma were never fun – but they usually didn’t taste this bitter.</p><p>“I- I’m sorry, Ladybug – Marinette. This isn’t your fault. I made a mistake and I’ll have to suck it up.”</p><p>They never tasted this bitter.</p><p>Chloé had gotten akumatized – over her parents’ argument.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>I was – they-they might divorce, Ladybug and I-I was – I am so scared. I-I don’t want that! I don’t want them to split!”</em></p><p> </p><p>Never, never this bitter.</p><p>Hawkmoth was a terrorist and a piece of trash and Marinette <em>hated</em> him – but for the most part, he had stuck to small things.</p><p>A teenager’s broken heart. A bad dream. A broken toy or even pigeons.</p><p>So many pigeons.</p><p>Hawkmoth rarely ever touched grief. Maybe a lost job. A father’s fear to lose his daughter.</p><p>But those were far and in-between.</p><p>He didn’t touch a girl’s fear of losing what little sense of family she had. He most certainly didn’t take her grief and anger and warp it until it was unrecognizable – what had he told her?</p><p> </p><p>“<em>If you’d still be Queen Bee your mother wouldn’t want to leave you – she’d love you! And if Marinette hadn’t taken your Mriaculous...”</em></p><p> </p><p>It’s what Chloé had told her, at the very least.</p><p>“It’s my fault – don’t-don’t blame yourself, Ladybug. I’ve learned my lesson.”</p><p>There was a saying that one’s eyes were a window to your soul – and perhaps, for Chloé that had always been true. They had held contempt when she had felt it, had shown misery and happiness. They had sneered alongside with the girl, had shown her every emotion she had ever experienced, nicely served to you on a golden platter – because a Bourgeois like her would never accept anything less than gold.</p><p>Not once had these eyes lied.</p><p>Chloé meant what she said. No fake tears for a camera, no secret hope she might be forgiven.</p><p>Chloé truly felt sorry for what she had done. Chloé truly believed this was her own fault.</p><p>It was.</p><p>It wasn’t.</p><p>If-If Marinette hadn’t been jealous – If Marinette hadn’t been jealous and given Kagami her Miraculous simply to get her away from Adrien, none of this would have happened.</p><p>Chloé would have been the right choice. It had been her parents – it would have only been right for Chloé to get the Miraculous.</p><p>If Marinette had – if Marinette had done the right thing, Chloé wouldn’t have gotten akumatized and she wouldn’t have needed to ask Master Fu for help and <em>then she couldn’t have possibly led Hawkmoth to Master Fu and he wouldn’t have needed to give up his own memories and she would have never become the guardian and even if Alya would have still filmed her, she wouldn’t-</em></p><p>If Marinette hadn’t failed, Chloé wouldn’t have gotten akumatized and wouldn’t have been hurt, again,</p><p>If Hawkmoth wouldn’t know who she was, Chloé wouldn’t have gotten akumatized in the first place.</p><p>“Hey, Chat – will you visit me tonight?”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>(Chat did come that night and she taught him about potions and-and sometimes, it almost looked as if Chat wanted to ask something, only to decide differently and perhaps it might have been a trick of the light, but his eyes were filled with fear and pain and sorrow.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Chat’s eyes had never lied either.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It was one of the reasons she had known who the real Chat Noir was and who the Copycat ages ago, but she had never told him about that and probably never would.)</em>
</p><p> </p><p>.O.</p><p> </p><p>“<em><b>LADYBUG TARGETED?!</b></em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Is Hawkmoth targeting Ladybug’s closest friends &amp; family? Find out here!</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>The Manager – L. Rossi<br/>
</em>
  <em>Harmony – R. Lavillant<br/>
</em>
  <em>Monsieur Nature – unknown<br/>
</em>
  <em>Night shift – unknown<br/>
</em>
  <em>Dream eater – N. Chamak<br/>
</em>
  <em>Fanboy – unknown<br/>
</em>
  <em>Harmony Two – R. Lavillant<br/>
</em>
  <em>Box rink – N. Césaire<br/>
</em>
  <em>Guitar Rift – L. Couffaine<br/>
</em>
  <em>Spotter – XY<br/>
</em>
  <em>Thrurist – M. Medeleiev<br/>
</em>
  <em>Deadline – C. Bustier<br/>
</em>
  <em>Nyx – unknown<br/>
</em>
  <em>Whisperer – J. Couffaine<br/>
</em>
  <em>Night shift Two – unknown<br/>
</em>
  <em>Princess Bee – Chloé Bourgeois</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>All of these Akumatizations took place during the last three week – most of the victims were either friends of Ladybug or targeted them. L. Rossi is known to be Ladybug’s best friend (click <span class="u">here</span> for more!), R. Lavillant, J. Couffaine and Chloé Bourgeois classmates, N. Cesaire and N. Chamak are family friends and L. Couffaine is rumored to have been romantically involved with Ladybug (click <span class="u">here</span> for more).</em>
</p><p>
  <em>C. Bustier and M. Medeleiev are her teachers.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Monsieur Nature destroyed the Boulangerie Patisserie owned by Marinette Dupain-Cheng’s parents (find out more about the bakery <span class="u">here</span>), Fanboy targeted Adrien Agreste, a close friend of hers and Spotter targeted Alya Césaire – another close friend.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Deadline, Nyx, Whisperer and Night Shift Two all occurred in one single night – just before an important exam was taken at College Francois Dupont, which fellow pupils claim M. Dupain-Cheng had to take as well.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It is a worrying pattern that emerges from this. Is Hawkmoth targeting Ladybug in an attempt to weaken her mental resolve? Does he hope to exhaust her so she fights more sloppily (evidence for Ladybug’s wavering fighting prowess can be found <span class="u">here</span>). Does he hope to weaken her mental fortitude in an attempt to akumatize her?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>We can just hope it won’t get to our spotted heroine too much – an akumatized Ladybug would be the worst-case scenario, regardless of the circumstances.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Stay strong, Ladybug! All of Paris stands with you!</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The next Akuma victim was named “Worrisome” – and had tried to freeze anyone close to Marinette in an attempt to keep them from ever getting akumatized or being put in danger ever again.</p><p>The online newspaper took down their article the following day – after a social media outcry denounced it as “fearmongering” – but it had been read by thousands of people already.</p><p>Marinette knew, because the next few days, everyone in school looked at her with pity and regret and she found too many “Keep positive” and “We love you!” notes in her locker.</p><p>It was nice.</p><p>Marinette hated it.</p><p> </p><p>.O.</p><p> </p><p>He shouldn’t be here. He really shouldn’t be here, he didn’t even know <em>why</em> he was here, but he had wanted-</p><p>Adrien – he didn’t know what he had wanted. But he had seen Marinette and-yesterday she had laughed so freely when he had scared her by sneaking up on her as Chat and he had-</p><p>It almost felt as if she was pushing him away as Adrien, sometimes. He’d say something and she’d get that-that weird expression on her face that he just didn’t <em>get- </em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em>(-and sometimes Alya would look downright furious and he was too scared to continue himself-)</em>
</p><p> </p><p>why, why she did that or Alya or sometimes even Nino when he thought Adrien wasn’t looking and-</p><p>and it hurt. Because Marinette would nod and then make up some silly reason to leave and-and he didn’t <em>get</em> it.</p><p>They had been friends. Best friends even-</p><p> </p><p><em>(-And sure, he was deeply and irrevocably in love with her and sure, knowing Ladybug was Marinette only helped him to acknowledge his small, tiny, </em>gigantic<em> crush he had had on her anyway and sure, whenever he saw her all he wanted to do was to trot over, drop himself into her lap and let her scratch his head, the way she’d do as Ladybug sometimes but that didn’t matter and wouldn’t matter and anyway-) </em></p><p> </p><p>-and – and the moment Marinette had stopped getting flustered around him had been – had been bliss.</p><p>He wanted that back. She wasn’t flustered but she wasn’t there either and he wanted that back and – he knew she felt comfortable around him as Chat.</p><p>So the only logically thing to do was to behave more Chat-like.</p><p>Hence the sneaking up on her. But then Alya got to her first and then they talked to each other and – Eavesdropping was bad.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>So, huh? Chat and you? Word is he’s seen suspiciously often around that balcony of yours...”</em></p><p> </p><p>Eavesdropping was bad, Adrien <em>knew</em> he shouldn’t eavesdrop, but…</p><p>He was a sucker for approval. He wanted to know what Marinette would say, craved to hear her talk of <em>them</em> and he knew he shouldn’t eavesdrop, he really, really shouldn’t…</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Yeah – Chat – Chat’s amazing. I-I couldn’t have wished for a better partner</em>.”</p><p> </p><p>He had always been a sucker for approval.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Hm – I can imagine – </em><em>he’s cute, isn’t he? You sure you wouldn’t want good old, lo-”</em></p><p>“<em>It’s – It’s not like that! At all! I-I mean Chat’s pretty cute, I guess, but not like that! Not like that!”</em></p><p> </p><p>Adrien preened at the compliment – he’d have to find a way to tease her about it later on. And perhaps, he could – well, perhaps he could ask for the identity of mystery boy as well.</p><p>He had never found an appropriate time. But he wanted to know, if-if just to know who he had lost his lady’s heart to.</p><p>He could always help her ask him out.</p><p>He owed her that much.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>I know, I know, girl! Why is he there, though? Are you just chatting? Is he there to keep you safe in case Mayura shows up again? Give me the deets, girl – I promise, all of this is confidential! Not a peep of it will end up on the Ladyblog!”</em></p><p> </p><p>Perhaps he should go now, he had-he had – this was getting too private.</p><p>He should leave.</p><p>He really should.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>...”</em></p><p>“<em>Marinette? Is everything alright? You-You seem pale and-”</em></p><p>“<em>I – I’m training him to become the next guardian.”</em></p><p> </p><p>He should have left.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>The next guardian? What’s that?”</em></p><p>“<em>...Some – it doesn’t really matter. But – you’re a great friend, Alya, did you know that?”</em></p><p> </p><p>Eavesdropping was bad.</p><p> </p><p>.O.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Adrien didn’t talk for the rest of the day – empty eyes were looking forward, hands on autopilot were writing down notes – but he didn’t talk.</p><p>And it didn’t take Plagg any time at all to figure his charge wasn’t there.</p><p>“Adrien, it’s going to be fine.”</p><p>Adrien didn’t respond. Plagg tried again – but to no avail.</p><p>Nino couldn’t make him talk either – no matter how hard he tried and Plagg knew for a fact he and glasses were making plans to murder Gabriel for whatever it was he had done this time.</p><p>Plagg wished it were as easy as simply blaming Gabriel again.</p><p>The Gorilla couldn’t make Adrien talk either – no “Hello” or “Thank you for picking me up” was exchanged and from the worried glances the bodyguard shot at his charge, he was well aware how strange his behavior was.</p><p>There wasn’t anything to be done though.</p><p>Even Nathalie, relaying his father would not join him for dinner, got all but a shrug.</p><p>It was scary, watching this empty husk that was supposed to be his charge move around as if nothing affected him.</p><p>“Are you okay, Adrien?”</p><p>“Yes, Nathalie.”</p><p>“...Very well. Do keep in mind we’ve added another Chinese lesson to your schedule to make up for the one you missed last week.”</p><p>“Yes, Nathalie.”</p><p>“…”</p><p>“…”</p><p>“...If anything’s the matter, do not hesitate to reach out to me for help.”</p><p>“Of course, Nathalie.”</p><p>And gone she was, leaving Adrien alone in a too big entrance hall, staring up at a picture that couldn’t be more fitting.</p><p>Adrien didn’t wait long before he stormed into his room, rules and all be damned.</p><p>If he wasn’t allowed to be a goddamn teenager today, then when would he be allowed to.</p><p>There was no one around to notice anyway.</p><p>And soon enough, Adrien was in his room’s relative safety.</p><p>“Kid...”</p><p>“Don’t.”</p><p>“Kid, you...”</p><p>“Don’t. I don’t want to talk about it. I’m fine, anyway.”</p><p>Without as much as looking anywhere, Adrien flung his bag away from him, somewhere into the depths of his room.</p><p>It landed on his bed, its fall cushioned and silent and it was a grim reminder of just how often he had stormed into his room, his expression blank and his mind in turmoil.</p><p>He didn’t want to think of his stupid dad either.</p><p>He turned on his PC, starting up the Ladyblog – like he’d always do, because it was the <em>one</em> part of his schedule he could control-</p><p>Stared at the Ladyblog – at the wide grinning face that was staring back at him, eyes sparkling with confidence and warmth and-</p><p>He turned his computer back off. Swiveled around in his chair until he was facing the windows.</p><p>Watched life go past down below.</p><p>There was too much laughter, much too much laughter and there were too many people there just living their life and there were too many people that didn't seem to care, didn't seem to care that...</p><p>“Kid, please...”</p><p>“She wants to forget me, Plagg. She-She wants to forget me.”</p><p>Adrien was on the verge of tears.</p><p>“She doesn’t want to forget you. If there’s any other way to pass on the Guardian-”</p><p>“But she will! She will forget me!”</p><p>Adrien swiveled around now, facing the Kwami, tears running from his eyes.</p><p>He looked pathetic. With a running nose and red, puffy eyes, and the way his entire body was shaking and his eyes begged for him to-to be taken away.</p><p>Somewhere else. Anywhere else, where it was safe, where he didn’t have to face this, where he could forgot that his, his dreadful, silently dreadful and utterly miserable suspicions – the ones that had kept him awake more than any Akuma and had kept him tossing and turning and that had made his eyes swim with fear whenever Marinette taught him something else-</p><p>Where things could go back to normal. No revealed identities. No fear, no worries.</p><p>Just him and Marinette, caught up in their life and-</p><p>“She will forget me and – and I can’t! I can’t lose someone else!”</p><p>Of course he couldn't lose her – his kid had already lost enough as it was.</p><p>“She won’t be gone – she just won’t remember parts-”</p><p>“She won’t remember me at all!”</p><p>Adrien pulled closer now, snatching the Kwami from the air – after three attempts, as the first two times Adrien hardly found the strength to lift his hand – and for once, Plagg let him, declining to phase out of the boy’s grip.</p><p>His knuckles were turning white.</p><p>If Plagg had a physical body, it might have hurt.</p><p>“She – Adrien – I had a Miraculous!”</p><p>He pulled Plagg even closer.</p><p>“I-I had a Miraculous and – and it-it t-took her a-a year! A y-year to talk to me!”</p><p>Finally, Adrien let go of him.</p><p>He swiveled back around, to stare out of his window again – it was the one that could stay open all night – if Ladybug just forgot the time and watched the city with him.</p><p>“She’s-She’s my best friend, Plagg – in and out of the mask, we – I could never find a friendship like that ever again.”</p><p>They had never found his mother’s body – they had never buried a casket and Adrien knew for a fact his father still held out hope that she – that she might return one day.</p><p>But she wouldn’t. Because his mom might not be dead, but she was <em>gone</em>.</p><p>“I can’t lose her Plagg, I just can’t.”</p><p>“I know, kid. And you won’t. She’ll always be there – memories or not.”</p>
<hr/><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I’m not trying to invalidate anyone’s pain, but I’d argue that “My parents are getting a divorce” and “I’m not allowed to feed the pigeons anymore” are playing in a different ballpark.</p><p>Please leave a comment if you enjoyed (or if you didn't enjoy), it would mean a lot to me ^^</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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